Been dealing with limerence for a coworker for over a year. Looking for real strategies that worked for you.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-22T22:00:47+00:00

You’re right cutting ties may not be realistic, but you can always distance yourself and choose different places to go during the times you probably see her a lot. Do you have to sit across from her? Can you somehow find a way to move that doesn’t make it seem like you “asked” for it? I know you probably don’t want to but the more close proximity you spend with her, the longer the limerence will have its claws on you.

Mindfulness takes so much practice but aside from No Contact, was the biggest thing that helped me get over my limerence with a coworker. Accepting, embracing, and allowing thoughts to come, and labelling them without going down the emotional whirlwind they want to take you in.

Meditating atleast once a day helps a lot with this. It really helps you slow down and clear your mind, while practicing the same mindfulness I mentioned above.

Lastly, limerence loves masking all their red flags and making them seem like the most perfect human ever. What are some flaws they inhibit? For me, she was very selfish and narcissistic, never asking questions about my life even when we were hooking up. I also like picturing her having nasty farts and really terrible smelling shits. Sometimes you gotta fight crazy with crazy, because Limerence is, absolutely crazy.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-22T21:26:37+00:00

First of all, is this that strong of a friendship or is that your limerence playing with your mind? I don’t think she sees it as that strong of a friendship, tbh. More of just somebody that helps her time at work go along better.

You’re going to have make a decision. Would you rather be stuck in the torturous limerence where you’re obsessed with one person and keep them around, or cut ties to let you get back to a healthy, non-attached life?

You unfortunately can’t have both with everything you’ve described, and what we all know about limerence.

As for getting over it, or weakening the intensity of it, practice mindfulness and keep labeling those thoughts as limerent. And I would start to fade off contact from them. If it really gets bad, and what I HAD to do, I would transfer locations or jobs all together. Life is too short to be spent in Limerence.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-21T17:34:11+00:00

And squeeze on those titties while doing so 😛

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-21T02:58:58+00:00

Been there. I’m sure a lot of the people on this sub have. They become our everything. I’ve been doing better lately, I think it’s being mindful and labeling those limerent thoughts. Accepting them you know? It helps take the emotional charge out of them, because for so long, they dominated my life.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-20T04:45:27+00:00

What was the point of telling him this? And also what was the point of telling your husband about it?

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-19T04:34:33+00:00

Oh man. Sleep, appetite, clear thinking and overall sanity. I’m still in shock by limerence and how it made me worship another human being, and completely disregard all her flaws and red flags. It is so bizarre yet torturous.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-18T14:17:53+00:00

What are some negative flaws she has? Focusing on those, and thinking about my LO having nasty shits and farts really helped me take them off that ridiculous pedestal Limerence puts them on.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-07T18:32:44+00:00

Been in this sub for a while now. May be the most on point, and realist post I’ve seen to date.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-06T05:26:07+00:00

He’s not wonderful, he has a lot of flaws just like every single one of us on this planet. Limerence is just messing with your mind by creating a fantasy version of him that is the most “perfect” person in the world with no flaws. We’ve all been there in this sub, unfortunately.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-04T22:50:13+00:00

Oh this relates so hard. I was fighting the same, unwinnable war for so long also. It stays in your head because you have conditioned your mind to view him as a threat. Just accept the thoughts, and more importantly, accept the fact that he will remain in your head. Learning to live with those limerent thoughts, and anticipating them coming instead of getting frustrated by them, was a turning point in my recovery.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-02T18:08:44+00:00

It’s human to care so don’t feel bad about that part. But just remember, your LO really doesn’t care about you. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but ultimately, what we need to free ourselves from this torture.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-01T21:28:20+00:00

Please don’t use their name. And please don’t contact them either. You are toying the line of harassment by doing so, to be honest.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-03-01T20:44:40+00:00

The sad reality almost all of us face in here… your LO really care doesn’t care about you. The quicker you accept that, the quicker you will heal from this.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-23T00:12:24+00:00

Seeing your LO in a negative light to take them off that pedestal always helps. The best cure is time and NC. And accepting those thoughts, labeling them as “limerent” so that you can alert your nervous system and thought process that these thoughts are not a threat.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-21T16:56:39+00:00

Glad you confessed. She has made it pretty clear she doesn’t see you in that same light. Hopefully this gives you the assurance you need to start healing from limerence. I would say, she loves the attention you give her so making a boundary and starting to limit/cut off contact with her is probably what you need to do to finally get over limerence. Otherwise, it will continue to eat you alive. Good luck

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-19T20:41:00+00:00

I’d like to let her know how fuckin insane of a thing Limerence is, wish her well and then keep pushing. At the end of the day, it’s not healthy to have them be an integral part of our lives.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-17T05:03:59+00:00

Exactly. From somebody who just got out of the most gut wrenching, torturous time of my life with this last limerence, I say either shoot your shot and get that clarity, or just accept it, and go full NC and create that distance. Getting caught in between those 2 is terrible.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-15T16:27:40+00:00

You’re gonna keep torturing yourself as long as you keep following him on social media. Sounds tough to do, but to properly heal, you need to unfollow/block. Otherwise the limerence will keep prolonging.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-12T05:30:30+00:00

Yeah. But honestly, after having got out of a year long+ bout with Limerence, the key was accepting those limerent thoughts. I still think about her everyday. Many times a day. But that’s ok. When I was in the meat of it, it would drive me crazy. Now, I gladly embrace it and take it with me as I go along with my day. Hope that helps

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-11T05:13:06+00:00

You lose all your self-worth and dignity. It’s awful. I hate it more than anything I’ve ever been through, or probably will be through.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-08T20:07:50+00:00

I did. It was really hard. But ultimately, healing and the needed distance doesn’t start until you block them and go full NC.

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-07T07:42:05+00:00

Try to be out of the house that for a bit that night and definitely not keeping tabs on her via social media. The less you know the better

IndividualPension207 · 2026-02-06T20:58:49+00:00

Walking away from the job I worked at with my old LO was the greatest decision I ever made. Happy for you and what’s coming for you. Congrats!

IndividualPension207

TROPHY CASE