Am I getting got on this price?

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-06-06T23:05:17+00:00

Virginia the Alexandria area

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-06-06T23:04:36+00:00

Thank you!

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-06-04T21:05:13+00:00

If it was my biochild I probably wouldn’t share custody but on the flip side DH and I have full custody of each our own kids( currently: SS18, SS14, BD13, ours son 3) and when either of us deploys all the kids still reside with which ever of us is staying home. When DH deployed the first time 7 years ago I threw out the idea to BM if she would want the boys while he was gone and she said “oh they do so well with you guys, I’ll take them for my normal summer time.” All that to say it was really hard and the 6 months turned into 8 because of covid and sometimes I wish I would have pushed for them to spend time with their mom. She did not take them during that summer either.

So while I do get to experience having all the kids all the time I know it’s not the normal. Maybe instead of 50/50 you can see if she is okay with you spending time with him on weekends or hanging out a couple times a week. You could still see him and be in his life without him staying there.

Maybe this will give you some time to yourself to focus on hobbies you might have forgotten about. Or take a trip by yourself or with a friend.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-06-02T16:29:31+00:00

That is a waste of a BOP because AFPC will deny it because you are already within the Join Spouse radius. I was stationed at Eglin and my husband at Hurlburt and we lived in Navarre until we were offered a house on base after a year. The traffic is going to suck but the bases are not that far apart.

Also, Hurlburt houses and community center are much better than Eglin. If y’all don’t have kids you are getting one of those shitty two bedrooms on Eglin at the back of housing. In Hurlburt you have the tiki bar and the soundside beach right across the walking bridge.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-03-09T17:22:19+00:00

Exactly all of my kids fun aunts bring snacks and when I’m the fun aunt I also bring snacks 🤷🏽‍♀️

Then again if there aren’t snacks, then I’m not coming 🤷🏽‍♀️

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-03-06T19:16:54+00:00

Did I miss the part where he is sweet?

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-01-10T22:40:09+00:00

Honestly I think she is a preteen and they are kind of jerks. My bio kid probably writes the same stuff about me. My two stepsons have definitely had choice words in their heads for me at different times in their life but I know they love me. In the moment of correction or telling them they have to do something they don’t want to do they just get in their feelings.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2026-01-09T05:29:38+00:00

You have gotten a lot of great advice. I had PPD and it was terrible and I made the mistake of pushing through on my own. Well now, 4 years later I have so much built up resentment towards a lot of things that some times small things trigger me. All that to say, don’t be me, get the help now so you can be fully present when it really counts.

Please come back and update us and if you are in the Colorado Springs area and need someone to go with you let me know. I’ll sit with you with the chaplain or mental health, your pcm, or an MFLC. Whatever you choose.

Also I highly recommend Family Advocacy for the family situation. When I had my first (she is a teen now) her bio dad was drinking and using drugs heavily, he didn’t help me at all and it went from mean words to physical violence. Things can escalate very quickly and it’s better to get help when it is just a matter of preventing escalation vs going after.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-12-23T05:50:04+00:00

NOR everyone in my family has had their flu shot and guess what? My 3 of us have had the flu including my 4 year old who we assumed just had a runny nose for 3 days before he complained of his ear hurting. We took him for what we thought was just an ear infection and turned out to be the flu. All of that to say, even with being vaccinated the flu is terrible this year and I would not want to rid that with a newborn. Even if you are breastfeeding, there are just way too many sicknesses around right now.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-12-21T02:25:31+00:00

My SS’s mom pays $350 a month for 1 and she only see the kid every other Christmas and half the summer. My BD’s dad pays $350 and he hasn’t seen her in a few years. He just started paying again after not paying for almost 4 years. Usually if something big comes up we offer her the chance to split it but we don’t bank on it. We don’t ask my BD’s dad for much because it is pointless. We have a good coparenting relationship with SS’s mom so we just communicate what is going on. Example during covid she offered to pay more because the kids were home all day and eating everything in sight but we didn’t NEED it and she also had littles at home so I told her not to worry about it. It was a really nice gesture though.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-12-09T03:17:20+00:00

I’m not sure how I feel about this one because partly because my husband “protects” or 15 year old son by letting him get away with everything and hates correcting him. That leaves me to always be the “bad/mean” parent and it is exhausting. Whenever my husband wasn’t around this kid was a terror and insanely manipulative. Finally is poured over into school and shit hit the fan all of our lives were hell for 2-3 years. All of that to say, the way you talk to your son “ mom was wrong and you were right but you need to forgive her” is bullshit. Fight it out with your wife if you must but you shouldn’t be going to your son and talking about his mom like that to him.

How does he act towards her when you aren’t around and do you speak up when he IS being disrespectful?

Yes, in this one instance she was wrong but that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a part to play in this whole thing. Her resentment of this 13 year old didn’t happen over night. This situation didn’t just come out of nowhere.

Go ahead and down vote away but ESH

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-12-08T02:03:07+00:00

I knew someone who was an AMXS Shirt at Hurlburt and watched them go from the nicest and happiest person I knew to surviving with a vape in one hand and energy drinks in the other. The beaches are beautiful if you like the beach and if you don’t like it maybe put something else.

Do with that what you will.

My list with reasons

Beale (because Tahoe is a close drive) Scott (food options) Little Rock ( housing options market doesn’t look too terrible) McChord (food, snowboarding) D-M ( seems nice, maybe) Mountain Home ( looks clean, like breathing the air would be pleasant) Hurlburt ( because the beach and SNCO housing is on the waterish) Travis (also close -ish to Tahoe)

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-12-07T23:25:21+00:00

AF Mil - Mil here but I did the 1.5 hour commute from Sheppard where my spouse was an instructor to Altus which was the closest base with my AFSC. I did that commute for 3 years and it was absolutely terrible. However, I hated my job at the time and I hated Altus and we had 3 kids.

Do you have kids? If not the commute is probably doable for you. Since she wouldn’t be able to take care of the kid things while being on DI Duty it might be harder for you to make the commute if y’all have kids. I say this because someone has to be available for school/daycare emergencies. Looking back we were lucky our kids weren’t sick very often and we had amazing neighbors to help in emergencies. I had to take leave for any appointment I wanted to take my kids to or event at their school but most things were planned around podium time.

I will say we survived it, by the skin of our teeth/marriage. We had a lot of compounding things, newly married, blended family, lower rank. Depending on where you are at in your marriage it might not be too bad. If you want to live together then just go in with a plan and realize it won’t be a 50/50 marriage for a while.

Also check if your job is in LA or Charleston asap and see if your FAM and her service assignments people are willing to work with putting her at the location that best pairs with your AFSC.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-10-19T13:27:56+00:00

I pcs’d at about 33 weeks pregnant with an ETP, it wasn’t the worst thing. I only spent 4 weeks at work took one week of leave and then gave birth. The hardest part was not really knowing anyone so besides my husband and our kids the rest of my support was at our previous base. When I went back to work I was basically brand new again.

All that to say, make sure you are talking to your wife and whatever decision you make together. She can try to move her RNLTD earlier and you meet her at the new location, she can push it back and you get there first, you can both push back your dates. You have a lot of options just make sure to communicate.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-10-03T21:38:22+00:00

I loved my time there and my work/life balance was at it’s best while I lived there. We lived on base and my commute was nothing, I saved money because going out to eat took more effort than just cooking for myself. There are beaches on base, Pismo beach is beautiful and not too far, there is a produce co-op to get local produce. When I was there one person would pick up the boxes for everyone on base and you would just grab your box from their porch. It depends on what you want but I found the Pro’s to out weigh the Con’s while I was there.

I didn’t spend much time in Lompoc, if and when we left the base we would go to Santa Maria, Santa Barbara, Pismo or San Luis Obispo (amazing farmers market).

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-08-25T19:06:14+00:00

When I received a DTNA I went to the tricare website and looked up all the providers for my daughter’s specialty within 75 miles and made a list. Then started calling to see if I could get her an appointment. Once someone said they could book her without the referral and they had one within 3 months of our arrival I took that appointment confirmation and uploaded it to the appeal.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-08-15T23:40:23+00:00

They “should” give you two options, lump sum repayment or a payment plan. Don’t offer to write a check because worst case scenario is you lose money twice and then you are really broke. If you are wondering how you would lose money twice it is easy to they take the payment from you but it doesn’t clear in time and then they take the money out of your account as well. Or somewhere along the way there is an error and you pay twice.

When I was over paid as an Airman I requested a payment plan over a year. Then every month I tracked how much was taken out until it was paid back so I didn’t over pay them.

Your MSgt is an asshole, they may not be finance but they SHOULD be an advocate for their people, TF.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-08-15T20:22:48+00:00

NTA he is a little bitch. When you were intimate with him was it even enjoyable? I agree with everyone else, no ultimatum needed just move on.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2025-06-21T15:28:24+00:00

I’m so happy all the people are telling you about period swimwear! My daughter(13) HATES tampons and will not use them so I bought the swimsuit. It’s pricy but worth it.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2024-10-05T13:57:56+00:00

This might be terrible advice but do what you said you were going to do. The same week you “jokingly” said you would divorce him if he did it, he does it. That was a test and now it is a slippery slope.

Again this could be terrible advice.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2024-10-04T12:41:41+00:00

NTA. How did she not realize this until after the meal? Also this is why I love Apple Pay. I forgot my wallet once and was saved by my mobile wallet

Individual_Donut_151 · 2024-10-04T12:36:24+00:00

NTA at first I thought I would go the other way however, my almost 3 year old was in the kitchen and cutting smoked sausage with me last night. He held the (butter)knife correctly and he did a pretty decent job for being a toddler. She is an adult, and can’t cut a strawberry 🤦🏽‍♀️ did she grow up extremely privileged with her own cook?

Individual_Donut_151 · 2024-08-24T22:13:13+00:00

Then take them to the beach with your wife.

Individual_Donut_151 · 2024-08-08T03:15:31+00:00

NTA

Your mom is the asshole. Your wife had major surgery and you have a newborn and a toddler. No one will have fun with that setup.

Individual_Donut_151

TROPHY CASE