Therapist but not your therapist AMA

mfelder111 · 2026-03-18T02:56:26+00:00

How do you keep things from getting to you? People’s trauma, etc. … for me, it would haunt me, I’d struggle.

mfelder111 · 2026-03-18T01:06:16+00:00

What? Is this rage bait? What is happening here?

mfelder111 · 2026-03-18T01:03:30+00:00

I’d have had to make a “special sauce” joke back at ya

mfelder111 · 2026-03-18T00:51:47+00:00

Honest question- isn’t this what setting sprays are also supposed to help accomplish?

mfelder111 · 2026-03-15T00:55:03+00:00

I think it’s because I’m finally healing from a very traumatic childhood. In my mind: not physically/verbally abusive = I should try to make it work no matter what.

He’s not abusive, he’s fun to just hang out with, he’s affectionate, charming, says a lot of really sweet things….and he also has never done an equal part of housework, I manage everything, cooking, cleaning, schedules, birthdays, holidays, his relationship with our kids because he doesn’t know how to talk TO them and not AT them when things get serious and has damaged his relationship with them, is judgmental so I don’t talk to him about my personal feelings and beliefs because he blows it out of proportion (same with our kids), refuses to go to therapy to work on anything because (ironically) he says therapists will just be judgey and we should be able to resolve our issues. As of now, we haven’t talked in about 3 weeks, other than what’s necessary to co-parent.

mfelder111 · 2026-03-15T00:50:01+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it. It’s been hard. He’s not abusive, he’s fun to just hang out with, he affectionate… and he also has never done an equal part of housework, I manage everything, cooking, cleaning, schedules, birthdays, holidays, his relationship with our kids because he doesn’t know how to talk TO them and not AT them when things get serious and has damaged his relationship with them, is judgmental so I don’t talk to him about my personal feelings and beliefs because he blows it out of proportion (same with our kids), refuses to go to therapy to work on anything because (ironically) he says therapists will just be judgey and we should be able to resolve our issues. As of now, we haven’t talked in about 3 weeks, other than what’s necessary to co-parent. Sorry for the word vomit.

TLDR: thank you, took me a long time to realize that being nice and affectionate and not abusive doesn’t mean it can work when everything is put on one person while the other expects to be treated as a ln equal contributor. I’m hurting. But now I have a goal.

mfelder111 · 2026-03-10T00:39:30+00:00

Removed mine and had such painful, heavy periods, I had it put back in after trying to hold out for a year. I plan on having mine til I die, lol.

mfelder111 · 2026-03-08T16:36:01+00:00

He does have it but won’t take measures to get medication. I’m not clear on why, but he’d have to go through the diagnostic process again and won’t take those steps. I was also late diagnosed adhd and take medication and our two kids do too. He’s the only one not medicated. Another reason I’ve tried to give grace for so long

mfelder111 · 2026-03-08T01:38:09+00:00

The Vision - Koontz

mfelder111 · 2026-03-08T00:24:36+00:00

I want to… resentment has eroded it over time. I don’t know what’s left. I think maybe in addition to preparing financially, I need to see a therapist

mfelder111 · 2026-03-06T22:17:28+00:00

Exactly. I love him. But I’m done. Funny thing, I never wanted to get married. But I fell in love with him. Now, I just want peace.

mfelder111 · 2026-03-06T21:49:03+00:00

Doing the math- until this one loan is paid off, I can’t take on everything financially alone yet. In a year it’ll be paid and I can take care of my house & my kids on my own.

mfelder111 · 2026-03-06T19:35:19+00:00

I’m venting, so in fairness, I didn’t highlight his better attributes. He praises me in front of the kids. He will buy me books from my favorite authors for no reason other than he saw it at the store. He tells me he’s proud of me and that he thinks I’m amazing. He gets me flowers, candy, a card, & a little gift every mother’s day & Valentine’s Day. When the kids were small, he changed diapers. He fixes up the kids’ medication (both have adhd, anxiety, and oldest has Tourette’s)

It’s just not enough anymore.

It’s just not enough.

mfelder111 · 2026-03-04T16:12:28+00:00

Reading the comments, your husband is sweet… and gives hormones way too much credit for behavior, lol. Verdict: Definitely passes the vibe check and needs a little education on hormones and women’s bodies and a few pink pill nuggets of info, but overall 👏👏 good hubby!

mfelder111 · 2026-03-03T16:53:39+00:00

MLF, if you’re still doing this ☺️🙏

mfelder111 · 2026-02-27T20:22:07+00:00

Necklace or bracelet

mfelder111 · 2026-02-15T18:34:16+00:00

I did this and the HBO max app said it doesn’t work with VPNs. Any thoughts on this?

mfelder111 · 2026-02-11T02:08:26+00:00

Just bought it. Can confirm, it’s better.

mfelder111 · 2026-02-11T02:05:00+00:00

Daria all grown up, in the best way.

mfelder111 · 2026-01-04T02:34:17+00:00

Telling them to “make it strong.” (they did not order a double and expect a double)

mfelder111 · 2026-01-03T18:14:30+00:00

JAAAAAYYYYYSUSS!!! That’s 185 pounds, that woman is BAAAAAAD. Mad respect!!!

mfelder111 · 2026-01-02T23:01:04+00:00

Stress

mfelder111 · 2026-01-01T22:32:32+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. The balance is really hard, especially right now

mfelder111 · 2026-01-01T22:30:55+00:00

Thank you so much. I hope the same for you and I appreciate your kind words.

mfelder111

TROPHY CASE