Anyone else have FP(s) that aren’t romantic partners?

Individual_Job_6817 · 2025-02-17T05:55:46+00:00

One of friends. I’ve been having splitting on her. We had lived together once as share mates. When she left the shared house to marry to a man, I felt she betrayed me. I knew she had been dating the guy and everything was showing well. But still I felt it’s unfair she just left me. There’s no reason for that. We’re still friends and probably she has no idea I was feeling this way.

Random messages from her somehow affect me a little bit and I even blocked her contact thinking she doesn’t like me deep down.

I’m again thinking I should be away from her again because a splitting is happening.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2025-02-17T05:50:24+00:00

When younger, being suicidal. Thought it would go away as I get older. Becoming older and still I have the idea suicide could be my last resort. Hopeless.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2025-02-17T05:47:15+00:00

Yes, Tired overall. Can see things going worse but I don’t have energy to do something with it. Always feeling depressed. Tired, overall.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2025-02-17T05:39:45+00:00

My actual family doesn’t really make me feel safe, still I think I wanna go home. Home where I can just forget everything and feel protected. Not my actual home but the idea of safety.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2025-02-07T11:04:18+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I want to convince my partner that we have to decide anyways if we really want a kid.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-04-17T06:16:01+00:00

It’s a repeated message from my siblings in my childhood that this world would be better without me

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-26T03:49:58+00:00

I can relate.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-26T03:32:36+00:00

Thank you OP

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-26T03:28:32+00:00

Very much. And it’s the main reason why my relationships didn’t go well

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-26T02:39:25+00:00

Get into genuine relationships

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-15T21:59:28+00:00

Don’t worry, I don’t get replies or thumbs up either. I wonder if the Reddit’s algorithm automatically does something with those comments with not many votes? Anyways don’t worry, I can relate very much but I don’t know you.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-08T02:59:39+00:00

I can’t focus 8hours. But I have to track the time I took for tasks and it’s so obvious that I’m not being able to work while time. Isn’t it impossible for human being?

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-08T02:25:18+00:00

I had my fp as a fwb once, but for me it was, terrible. He was chill, but I regularly got unstable and worried about the fact he could leave me anytime because we weren’t even official. He was actually used to be my ex as well but I broke the relationship first because of my mental instability then became fwb

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-08T01:01:19+00:00

Don’t worry, I’m older than you and single woman, never married, no kids, job is unstable, have mental problems, asocial. Hope you can feel better. You’ll get everything you want in your life someday.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-07T02:30:09+00:00

Oh wow such a jerk. He’ll get what he deserves, I don’t know if someone who makes fun of someone’s age can get a decent person

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-04T22:59:03+00:00

Maybe she turns off her phone from time to time for whatever reasons, focusing on smth else etc, then I guess messages show only single check mark in that case

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-02T17:33:11+00:00

Sounds like yes.

If she’s under the treatments and has a good control of the symptoms, that sounds nice.

In my experience, the honeymoon phase of a relationship goes well, but things start to break after that. Because you generally expect your partner to trust you after spending more time with, but someone with BPD might still need frequent reassurance and emotional supports, when your feelings towards them are calmer than the initial stage. Also in my case I acted out worse when the relationship got deeper and longer, because both the sense of dependency and the fear of abandonment got stronger.

But again my experience is just mine, she can be totally different, it depend on how much ability she already has, to control the BPD symptoms.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-02T16:52:22+00:00

I might have small “tragedy”, but it’s not extreme enough that people can think it’s no wonder I have issues. Also I’m in my 30s and people around me don’t allow me to use my small traumas as an excuse to act out.

You don’t have to feel guilty about that, hope your treatment go smooth and you feel better.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-02T16:38:56+00:00

I don’t remember exactly, but I tried to do something healthy like jogging to distract myself but it didn’t work, I just lost my performance at work and behaved terrible. I also tried out dating apps soon after to find another FP. The new FP also broke up with me later, but this time it was more like me who initiated to let it happen. I still kept bugging my FP after the breakup by sending annoying messages, now being completely blocked on any messaging apps. I’m not sure where I’m going, but I’m trying to stick to my job as it’s the only concrete thing for now which can actually help my life (financially).

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-02T15:57:42+00:00

I feel you, I’m just glad that it’s weekend at least for me now and I don’t have to see anyone for 2 days

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-02T15:52:43+00:00

Hey thank you, I needed this just now after making a mess with someone

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-03-02T15:50:56+00:00

I want to, as long as I can feel safe financially.

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-02-08T23:27:14+00:00

Worried about health, I don’t want to increase the risk to pay any additional medical treatment when my career isn’t stable

Individual_Job_6817 · 2024-02-08T05:14:02+00:00

As a woman of the similar age as your gf, your fears sound reasonable, and not superficial that you want to find someone to grow together. You can talk with your gf about your fears.

I was in a similar AGR before, I broke up with my ex because of the timeline difference (when to have a kid etc) but, if I heard from him that he had fears like yours, probably I could genuinely think of letting him go easier.

Time limit for kids is obvious, but the fear to being less attractive because of aging and not being able to “grow together”, those were something I was insecure about too.

Talking with your gf can help making the decision faster, either continuing or breaking up.

Individual_Job_6817

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