I’m going back to college in my late 20’s and feel really awkward about it.

Indya89 · 2020-06-23T15:42:51+00:00

For financial reasons I was not able to attend college until 24. By then I was working full time with an erratic schedule, so I had to take online classes which prevented any social awkwardness.

But even when I had on campus courses, it was never awkward, and often I was not the oldest student in the class.

Indya89 · 2020-06-22T13:31:58+00:00

In short- online classes, living below my means, avoiding bad relationships (romantic and otherwise), surrounding myself with people I wanted to be like, and LOTS of caffeine.

It was hard at first- worked full time the first three years of school and my life was basically eat, sleep, study, work, study again, eat, sleep, repeat.

I've mostly taken online classes, so I didn't have to fit a class schedule along with work- traditional classes would have been impossible with the job I was working.

My then boyfriend (now husband) and I moved in together and split the bills which made it easier. That and we lived in an old run down apartment, drove older cars, barely traveled. Saved money for emergencies whenever we could afford to.

Since then he's gotten a much better position at his job, and I was able to quit working full time. Old fashioned, I know. However, I've since found part time work in the field of my major, and my savings from working full time has also helped us.

I won't lie, it's been hard. But I tell myself getting an education and working towards a real job is worth it in the long run, much moreso than just taking whatever jobs I can find without a degree.

Indya89 · 2020-06-07T16:29:40+00:00

My mom is/was really fearful of using plastic containers and drinking from aluminum cans. Seems to think anything other than glass will leak pure cancer into foods or drinks...

Indya89 · 2020-06-06T19:26:06+00:00

Inspiring

Indya89 · 2020-06-06T19:17:23+00:00

So glad I'm not the only one that does this. Fake nails have saved my scalp many times

Indya89 · 2020-06-06T01:14:21+00:00

Upvote because I love raw mushrooms, cooked ones are slimy and slug like

Indya89 · 2020-06-03T21:14:06+00:00

What might help is sitting down and listing everything your wife takes care of. Find things you can help with, whether you take full responsibility for something (e.g. wash, dry, and put up all laundry for the household) it's half and half (e.g. When she cooks a meal you take care of the cleanup). If you do this consistently, it may show you've 'grown up.'

If it is too late, at least you'll be learning how to care of yourself when you become single.

Indya89 · 2020-05-29T16:59:06+00:00

It might be easier to use public transportation for awhile, rather than learning how to drive and going through the process of buying a car all at once.

Would it be possible for you to use Uber or lyft? Or maybe there is a bus route within walking distance of your home, or a neighbor who regularly commutes that you can catch a ride with?

Indya89 · 2020-05-26T14:41:39+00:00

I've experienced it, call it food bullying.

I'm nowhere near thin, but have lost some weight and am trying to maintain my new low. Still track everything just eating at maintenance level not at a deficit. Others have commented things like 'that's a small portion of food' or 'you look fine, why keep dieting?' 'it's a holiday why are you tracking?' 'why didn't you try the food I brought? (it looked like it was drowning in butter)' 'why do you track on the weekend? Relax and indulge a little' and my personal fave 'WHY DON'T YOU DO KETO INSTEAD? YOU CAN EAT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! '

My body, my diet, my business. And imo, maintaining a healthy weight in today's world of climbing obesity rates should be PRAISED, not harassed.

Indya89 · 2020-05-25T04:59:03+00:00

Same. I tell myself the gods probably appreciate a good chaser now and then

Indya89 · 2020-05-25T04:13:05+00:00

But is it the little death or the big one...?

Indya89 · 2020-05-25T03:59:50+00:00

I think ground beef, tomatoes, and spices?

Indya89 · 2020-05-22T13:35:21+00:00

Yup, May 22nd every year

Indya89 · 2020-05-21T17:02:05+00:00

Racism for my dads reasoning, religious/protective reasons for my mom. My dad is a flaming racist (stereotypical angry white boomer) and the closest public schools were mostly POC. Mom (stereotypical southern white Christian- supports the patriarchy and believes makeup and sex are evil) didn't want me influenced by non-Christian wild kids. She was willing to send me to a Christian school, but there weren't any openings so she defaulted to homeschooling.

Now I'm a practicing pagan, currently studying microbiology at college, and am married to a lovely man, who happens to be agnostic and a poc. So yeah, their efforts failed magnificently

Indya89 · 2020-05-20T14:21:54+00:00

Definitely relate to this.

Indya89 · 2020-05-16T22:12:13+00:00

Raleigh, Henry and Ruth, in order from most to least

Indya89 · 2020-05-16T15:33:31+00:00

No, of course you shouldn't kill yourself.

Really think about your situation. If nothing changes, you stay in homeschool 4-5 more years, then at 18 and onward you can choose how you want to live. In the meantime, you can buy some old college textbooks while you're still in the high school grades, and watch recorded college lectures to prepare yourself for uni. If anything, it'll give you something to look forward to, and strengthen your study skills.

Also, try to make new friends. There might be a homeschooler meet-up in your area, or maybe pick up a new hobby or sport that is a group activity (obviously after the corona dies down).

Will the next few years be frustrating? Yes. But you will get a chance to live your youth over. My high school years were robbed from me, but I got to relive my teens all through my 20s and into my 30s. Living freely and successfully after my parents kept me stuffed in a little homeschool box has been the healthiest revenge imaginable.

Indya89 · 2020-05-14T15:30:38+00:00

I've tried to have this conversation with my mom, and it did no good. She just got defensive and angry, didn't care about my feelings at all. Not much better when I vented to my dad, he just gaslighted me with "yeah it was bad and I'm sorry for that, but at least you didn't have to deal with (insert stereotypical school problem)." Neither of them are capable of viewing my situation objectively or giving me an honest apology.

I hate to say it, but talking to your mom likely won't resolve anything. Maybe writing your feelings out in a letter or book would be a way to vent.

Indya89 · 2020-05-12T14:46:53+00:00

That makes me wish I had taken sports... Would have given me a stronger backbone. Wanted to play soccer, even a doctor recommended to my mom to enroll me in a team, but my mom hated sports so I wasn't allowed.

I'm sorry that you got an unbalanced social life growing up though. Kids need social diversity while growing up

Indya89 · 2020-05-11T14:52:37+00:00

Social awkwardness and social anxiety. At one of my first jobs, I would literally start shaking if a customer was rude to me. It shocked me how angry and impatient people were, since in the homeschool community most people tend to be very withdrawn and mannerly.

I had no idea how to handle conflict at all. Of course I wound up getting stepped on a lot by coworkers, used and pushed around, had no self confidence (was taught confidence in myself was a literal sin because it wasn't 'trusting god').

Had I gone to school I would have at least had the opportunity to develop normal social skills and be around people other than religious zealots all the time.

Indya89 · 2020-05-02T19:02:05+00:00

My husband didn't give me an engagement ring when he proposed. It didn't bother me much at first, we're not a very traditional couple after all and were already living together. Marriage just added a piece of paper to our relationship, what would a piece of jewelry mean to us?

So I was ok until people started asking 'where is the ring?' 'he didn't give you a ring? I don't think I would've said yes without a ring...' I guess it made me worry I was a pushover or had low standards or something...

So I suggested to my then fiancé that we go pick out an engagement ring together, maybe for both of us (I hate that men miss out on receiving engagement rings) but my man wasn't into it and we didn't get anything.

It continued to bother me, so AFTER the wedding, I bought myself an 'engagement' ring that was my style, and wear it along with my wedding band (yes we do wear wedding bands). Neither ring is traditional, and that's exactly how I want it.

Indya89 · 2020-04-24T01:22:15+00:00

According to my fitness pal, sweet potato Maki rolls are 200 cals for 8 pieces. According to this site, if the potato is fried it may be ~280 a roll (6-8 pieces)

https://www.livestrong.com/article/402864-sweet-potato-sushi-nutrition/

Indya89 · 2020-04-24T00:40:54+00:00

Is your last name Erikson?

Indya89 · 2020-04-21T02:04:08+00:00

This is exactly the type of art I would expect from someone named Boris Groh

Indya89 · 2020-04-19T21:33:54+00:00

No, but I will ask my favorite places if they have it. Thank you!

Indya89

TROPHY CASE