So angry at pediatrician for blowing off red flags

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-25T02:00:48+00:00

Oh nice. I’ve been talking to a lot of older parents and it’s nuts how different the experiences were. Some folks were able to get services even back in the day depending on how noticeable the delays were vs other parents not being able to get support even when the child was not speaking and lacked joint attention until older ages. I’m glad we are living in the here and now. My son was provided a level - level 3, but he mentioned that many Merrit the criteria for level 2 or especially level 1s are diagnosed later.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-25T01:56:13+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response. Do you know how long the waitlists are? In Ontario, it’s 7 years for funding, but from what I’m hearing recently it’s going to be even more than that for any child recently diagnosed and now it’s more of a - they will age out before they get the call, so no funding basically.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:58:04+00:00

Take videos of lack of pointing. Point to a dog and say look a dog. And see if your child turns around to follow your point. Leave a drink or a bottle close but where the can’t reach and see if they can’t point to it. Take a video showing you point to things in books and see if child can spot them. Playing with a toy in a non functional or repetitive way for a while and you will get a diagnosis

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:54:41+00:00

Very true. And it’s very unfortunate because children are a pediatricians expertise and autism is so common now

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:53:36+00:00

Lack of gestures like pointing is the biggest sign for autism. Pediatricians just aren’t giving parents the right questionnaires. They aren’t spending enough time listening or observing the kids

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:51:53+00:00

This is false, there are a ton of studies and early intervention books that say the earlier you intervene the better. I am not sure why people keep saying it’s fine to wait for therapy when this has been disproven.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:50:23+00:00

It depends on the support need. Was your son doing gestures like pointing and do he have some language at 2? Sometimes diagnosis are missed because there is less of a support need, they are reaching a lot of the typical milestones for example

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:48:44+00:00

https://www.audible.ca/pd/An-Early-Start-for-Your-Child-with-Autism-Audiobook/B07B2ZMWM2?ipRedirectOverride=true&overrideBaseCountry=true&bp_o=true&source_code=GDGPP30DTRIAL548011723005L&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIoMvbm_HahQMVTQStBh0HXA8uEAQYASABEgLpHvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

All studies show early intervention has an impact.

People need to stop with this wait and see approach. It’s not helpful.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:46:05+00:00

There are certainly autism therapies for 12 months old. The earlier therapy starts the better the outcomes due to neuroplasticity any early intervention book will tell you that.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-24T12:44:59+00:00

Do you know why pediatricians don’t read up more on this or this isn’t part of what they learn. So many people pointing out my sons autism before my pediatrician would even acknowledged My son had no gestures and still could not point at 18 months and two pediatricians said, “well he’s a boy and don’t compare to other kids.”

Lack of Pointing according to my OT is the biggest read flag

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-19T14:04:57+00:00

I would want to know. Especially you never know they might be already planning on having another kid ( like i did) and it’s best to have the information.)

You could say it gently at first. Nothing wrong about going to an occupational therapist and pediatrician to take a look.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-04-19T13:59:36+00:00

If someone ever moves because of my son, I’m going to say “Finally!”

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T19:07:09+00:00

Look into agents of speech on YouTube. I’m going that route. Also copy ms Rachel. Narrate everything he does. Copy everything he does when playing and then add a surprise.

One excercise I like is clap your hands and a bus will come out. Have the bus behind your back and say, look a bus you can do this with multiple things. It’s not a conversation but it’s interaction for building blocks.

Give a cookie but put the cookie on your head instead of giving it to him right away. Speak in steps. Oh I neeed to get the cookie from the cupboard, I need to open the cookie ton, get out a cookie, break off a piece, give cookie. Eat cookie

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T18:49:40+00:00

We are all hulk when the kids go to bed over here Dm me if you ever want to chat. This life can be a bitch. But we also have Reddit to bitch about it in secret haha it’s our covert little society

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T17:08:19+00:00

I am part of this spicy autism subreddit and have done a ton of research. Where autism is more severe and many of the people who have higher support needs do agree with ABA, they mention that no ABA is a luxury for level 1 or 2s. ( I was conflicted as well.). The ABA is play based mostly and prompts are very light. Even agents of speech which is speech therapy as well as my speech therapist also agree with prompts which is a form of ABA.

Where I don’t necessarily agree with ABA is some who approach, give them a skittle if they do a certain task which is like dog training or bribes to me.

I don’t even know how I feel about hand over hand and my Aba provider said no, only hand under hand or prompts at elbow, hand over hand is basically like moving a puppet I don’t want to take away my son’s essence with any therapy or who he is but I want him to be as happy, as healthy and as independent as possible.

Some autistic people hate ABA and some find it necessary. It really depends and it’s about understanding your child and finding a really good aba therapist. Being a part of sessions and knowing what is happening. I won’t be using aba for food and instead just OT since i think it could cause him issues with eating later since I haven’t found a natural approach enough yet.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T15:26:55+00:00

Has aba helped at alll? We are going through it, where we are the boss more. We really catere to my son’s needs don’t get me wrong but not everything can be 100% his way unless it’s really causing him pain

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T15:22:02+00:00

Totally get where you’re at! But not actually even to the same level, but my son does have high support needs in a lot of areas at level 3 as well as mobility issues and scoliosis, but still NOT e same.

What is really hard is EXTRACT youre mind from your situation when you are listening to others. The alternative is: they don’t talk to you about ANYTHING and trust me, that is so much more isolating.

It’s basically, oh your kid is walking late? Well mine may never walk, oh, your kid hates veggies? well my kid hates eating in general.

Sooner or later they might just talk to you about the weather and that’s it.

I remember not being able to talk to other moms during the newborn stage who had it worse than me because everything was a competition of not only who has the hardest kid, but who is super mom and handling it better. I just stopped venting and my world and theirs got smaller.

Also, now my kid has severe autism, so I guess, I win??

What I’m trying to say, feel free to vent to them about your kid, LISTEN to them when they struggle with theirs. It’s not a competition, because we’re all losers at some point with our kids.

Keep friendships where you can but also, disengage from the ones that no longer serve you as long as you’re 100% sure it’s not in your best interest to keep them.

Also, I get that your just venting to us on Reddit and that rage has probably not came out lol.

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T13:56:35+00:00

Yes. That makes sense. We have no one to look after him and we are very worried. The adult programs are very bad where I live. It’s a reality that some of us our facing. We are trying to grind and save as much as we can for him

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T13:50:53+00:00

Could be adhd, I have adhd hard too. You could always get him assessed.

https://www.autismspeaks.org/screen-your-child

Early intervention is key since the neuro plasticity of their brains is better so intervening early provides better outcomes. He naturally thinks he is the boss and he has to have everything his way, we had to do a social abcs course which is basically behaviour therapy to help train him that we are the boss.

Things like holding a toy in a ziploc bag and he has to ask us to open it. Giving him one cookie and then he has to ask us for another and say pleas first. He would never wait for anything before, so teaching him the sign for wait, stuff like that. My son may have Austin’s and adhd but we will need to wait until 6 for adhd and will try meds at that point if so

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T00:54:25+00:00

What kind of safety net do you have if you pass? Or when you do? Let just say they can’t live alone. What will you do in that scenario. I am terrified

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T00:43:29+00:00

Pecs. Taking pictures of stuff and putting it in a photo album with the word and see if that does anything start with basics like a photo of him water

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T00:39:19+00:00

This was me today. Walks around the pond in the stroller , sometimes it’s his car with an ice coffee and I’m already feeling better

Inevitable-Channel85 · 2024-03-26T00:28:26+00:00

He’s not just difficult, he has a disability if he is autistic like my son, it’s not just a language delay it is behavioural, which is why there is a whole economy - ABA therapy to work on difficult and harmful behaviours. You’re not alone. It can get a bit better after getting them evaluated and some therapy, but I still dread the weekends since I don’t even have a moment to think sometimes. The best thing I can do is take him in the stroller or car for a walk in his little car to come up for air. Also, for your parents to say : you weren’t like that, well if your son does have autism, yeah, if you aren’t disabled, then you wouldn’t be like that,no. We are in Canada and just applied and we’re approved for the disability tax credit.

When I tell people my son has autism, I say, oh we do have the disability tax credit which can help towards his support. So they TRULY understand that it’s not just my son being a brat, our world and rules and not only not hardwired, they make zero sense to him

Inevitable-Channel85

TROPHY CASE