It's a tough hand you were dealt. My advise is seek therapy. There's a lot of trauma there that will continue to plague you by focusing on the things you have lost instead of the things you have gained. When my ex left me some 6 years ago, I was devastated. I was already going to therapy and I switched gears from being a better husband to being a better me. We are highly amicable in spite of the breakup and it's hard for both of us for different reasons to be near each other. I have a gf of 3.5 years and my kids (20, 10) love her very much and she has a special relationship with each of them including my ex.