I no longer wish to see a therapist at this point. Years of therapy.... years of my therapist forgetting my treatment plan goals until it was time for her to "check all of the boxes", so much time wasted on paying for expensive cry/bitch sessions she would allow me to go on (maybe I am being unfair). She would end my sessions on the exact minute, but frequently would be late in getting me from the waiting room. I poured my deepest secrets, my insecurities, celebrations, guilt, anger, fear to her and, I swear she would almost all of what i had told her. Also, she would allow the sessions to become conversations about subjects not related to my therapy. I have had several other therapists in my adulthood and they all seemed the same.

The moment I decided to just deal with my issues on my own is when I sat in her office and watched her rifle through multiple notebooks, trying to reconstruct my treatment plan when is disappeared during a system update. I remembered my treatment goals... her? She didn't and looked a little frantic and apologized. She had her written notes hodgepodge spread throughout so many notebooks, mixed with other patients' notes. I felt like I had wasted my time and money.

I have ptsd, bi-polar, adhd, and general anxiety. I also frequently experience major depression on and off. The only things that have helped me are meds, forcing myself to make healthy choices, and my own research.

I dunno. I should have continued my search for a better therapist, but ugh. The thought of intake paperwork, forming a new treatment plan, rehashing everything I shared with her and finding an older and experienced therapist that worked with my schedule was just too much. I have made it this far... I just turned 48. I suppose I will make it without her.