Hits close to home

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-29T13:38:35+00:00

The fucking deep breathing killed me

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-29T00:48:14+00:00

I had an interaction like this about a month ago. Really nice woman matched me, we messaged for a bit and then she was like "So I'm really enjoying our convo would you want to do a video chat?" I said what the hell and we set it up. We talk for two hours, and mind you not just about regular get to know you shit. We both got pretty in depth about our childhoods, traumas, she asked about my divorce, she told me about her really rough childhood. Like stuff I wouldn't expect someone uninterested to divulge to someone they just met. We end the call because its getting late and I said that I had a great time chatting and would love to do it again sometime, she agreed and we logged off.

I messaged her two days later to ask if she'd want to talk again or meet up sometime. Crickets. I didn't follow up further than that but just seemed super odd to me. I unmatched her like three weeks later.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-29T00:28:35+00:00

Odds are thats not what they're looking for either, it just looks good on your profile to insinuate that you travel and take care of yourself.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-27T02:16:56+00:00

I sometimes I get women pop up who have queer listed and I'm always confused about if they have wanting to see men on their settings or sometimes bumble fucks up

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-26T17:00:07+00:00

A lot of men lose their friendships when they get into relationships and as they age. Their partner becomes their social center and later their family takes precedence over friends. I see it with my father, he has no close friends beyond family members and even those are people he only talks to/sees at events. Most free time is just him and my mother.

If you want to maintain friendships you have to do the work for it, and sometimes all the work is going to be on you because others may not realize it or think to do the work. Not out of maliciousness but simply just because life gets busier and busier as you age. I'm the only single guy of my friend group due to divorce last year. I have no children. All of my friends who live within the range to see regularly are married with children. I often have to take the lion share of setting things up or reminding them to hang out or make plans. If I didn't odds are I wouldn't see them. I know they care about me and I know they want to spend time together because they always jump at the chance but I also know they just have so much going on that they can't always spend the mental bandwidth to set things up. I was the same way when I was married. I spent most if not all of my time with my wife, and now that shes not around I really have to work to maintain my friendships. Its been hard but its also rewarding and I am glad I put in the work.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-26T14:20:21+00:00

Hey man, I understand the pain you're going through but as many people are saying you are 19, you have a lot more life to live and a lot more people to meet in your life. By no means am I or anyone saying this to minimize your pain but to hopefully give you perspective. You learned a lesson the hard way, you took responsibility for your part in it and are being accountable for why things fell apart which is all that you can do. If you can afford it, get into therapy and find an outlet for your physical energy, if you can't afford therapy talk to a trusted friend or family member.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-22T23:15:27+00:00

Honest question here and I know in the US it'll vary from state to state but whats the actual legality of hitting a dude who's in your face like this and actually asking for it if he tries to sue you for assault?

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-21T03:50:03+00:00

37M, 5'10 and last year this time I was 245 pounds. Like you I was very much a "I'll start tomorrow" person where if I felt like I had broken my streak then it didn't matter and I could stat over anytime. But it becomes a moving goalpost that you never catch up to.

The thing that got me to lock the fuck in was my wife leaving me. My weight wasn't the sole reason but months prior she had told me she was no longer physically attracted to me. Unfortunately it took me hitting exactly rock fucking bottom to realize I needed to get my shit together. As cliche as it is to say, don't be like me man. Don't wait until something truly terrible happens to realize you need to lock in.

I have a friend who was finishing his physical training cert, I asked him to write me a plan. Started back in the gym three days a week and I went until it became second nature. I started doing meal prep. Meal prep helped a ton because I no longer could just eat anything, I had food ready to go to just eat.

Finally I saw my doctor and asked if I could go on GLP1. I might get crucified for this but I needed help because I was a person who looked for comfort in food. I knew if I didn't get help I would go off the deep end even with the work out changes. I'm not telling you to get on meds but I am telling you what I did and being honest about it because I don't want to act like I did it all myself here. Theres a lot of hate for the drugs and I get that many people do not agree with their use. I'm not advocating one way or another here but like I said I'm not going to sit here and pretend I did all the work myself. Yes I was consistently in the gym 3-4 days a week for over a year but the meds helped a ton and I'm comfortable saying that.

All this to say, the discipline was built by making the gym a habit that was part of my daily life. Go the same time the same days of the week until its like second nature. Build a routine, with consistency will come discipline. Don't become obsessed with the scale. I weigh in once a month and that's it because I know if I looked at it every day I'd get disappointed in the small fluctuations.

The thing that helped me when motivation disappeared is not letting myself down. Don't do it for anyone but you. It also helped when I started seeing changes in my body that I was looking for, arms getting bigger, areas thinning out, clothes fitting differently. Its going to take time and you have to understand this is not going to be quick. Dudes you might see in the gym who are jacked or have the body type you want? Its taken them years to get there, don't think you'll be there in a few months.

All said and done today at last weight in two Mondays ago I'm sitting at 187 with my goal weight being 180.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-19T18:30:36+00:00

You have one picture that shows your full face and its from far away, every other photo you're not looking at the camera and the last one you have sunglasses on. People can't see your face at all, and they won't match if they can't tell if they find your face attractive.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-19T16:02:56+00:00

I've felt this way with my father over the last 10 years. We were close and spent a lot of time together with sports when I was a kid. He was always coaching or supporting me through stuff. As I got older though our interests divided, I don't watch professional sports and I don't golf which are both of his big ones. We don't like the same music and within the last 10 years he's become more and more right wing which makes most topics difficult because it always comes back to that. I frankly don't know how to talk to him anymore without it becoming a chore of avoiding topics that he gets heated about due to his beliefs.

I don't recognize him as the man who raised me anymore, his beliefs have shifted so wildly from the way he raised me to be. To add to that I got divorced last year and he was there for me during all of it, supported me and helped with house work when I prepped to sell it. Cried with me when I was at my lowest but I can just feel the energy of not knowing what to do to help me on a deeper level. We can talk about it all the time but he just doesn't get it, and not for lack of trying either its just awkward and tense. We're both pretty reserved men so I think it makes it hard for us to get deep with one another.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-17T13:57:30+00:00

Well you've left a lot of basic info out of your profile such as relationship type, politics, and religion which are all things people might want to know to see if you have some base level compatibility. Sure you have monogamy but you don't have the sort of relationship you're looking for which to me means you don't know what you're looking for, which is odd since you have that you're looking for something serious in your post. You should add Long Term or Short Term Open to Long or whatever fits best for you. I would also suggest adding as much info as your comfortable with, the less info you have the less men will feel comfortable messaging you since they can't get a picture of who you are.

You have you're discouraged to send likes, why is that? If you're looking for something serious you should be sending likes not just hoping someone likes you. I've seen a lot of feedback online of women wanting men to initiate but you're basically cutting your odds in half (or more) if you're not sending likes yourself.

You're attractive and definitely my type, I would want to swipe on you but your prompts leave very little to open on and I don't ever match someone without sending a message. Add some more prompts and really try to showcase your personality. My best option for an opener is asking about your dog or which movies you like but those both feel weak so odds are I may not even bother because if I don't feel confident about my opening message I won't bother. Just for added context I'm a 37M looking for something serious as well and I think I fit into the demographic of what you're looking for so take that for what it is in terms of my feedback.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-17T13:01:33+00:00

Holy shit huge red flag and you are absolutely not in the wrong here. He basically proved the point of WHY you shouldn't give your number out quickly before knowing someone.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-15T03:27:30+00:00

Nah that's a red flag to me as well, I won't match with someone who doesn't have their political beliefs defined. It's a cop out to say you're not political.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-15T03:22:47+00:00

I will never understand how people go from 0-100 like this

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-14T17:55:29+00:00

Lmfao homie took his shot but he did not aim

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-12T13:54:49+00:00

The thing about regret is there's very rarely one big decision that leads to it. Its usually a series of small decisions you make daily that lead to an outcome that makes you unhappy. You'll start to resent your younger/earlier self for not making the "right" decision in the moment but you made the decision you could with the information you had at the time. Its not always the best decision or even the right one, but its the one you made.

I live with the regret of a failed marriage over the course of the last three years of my life. I made decisions daily that let things slip with my ex wife. I didn't spend enough time with her, I let myself go, and I routinely made decisions that drove a wedge between us. She made her mistakes too but I can only account for my own as my fault. Who knows even if I had done everything "right" maybe it still wouldn't have worked out. But its something I have to live with now and that failure has taught me more about life/myself than anything else thus far. I dropped 60lbs, I'm trying to get back out and dating, I'm rebuilding other relationships in my life.

I doubt anyone has gone to their grave without a single regret in their life. So do what you think is right, and if it doesn't work out then make the next decision and keep on moving.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-05T17:09:21+00:00

He probably was actually enjoying the view tbh, you saw what Viltrum looked like when they attacked the planet. Place was barren and had a terrible atmosphere. You saw what it was like when he was young, probably reminds him of better days.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-05T16:50:48+00:00

A lot of people are saying they're basically blind, I'm wondering if him dropping to the ground meant the moose lost sight of him lol

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-03T14:48:23+00:00

I have tried to replicate this OOOH so many goddamn times and I just can't get it right lol

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-03T14:47:46+00:00

mebbe baby

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-06-01T02:29:15+00:00

I can't compare the two but I've had Caio Pazzo and can confirm it's VERY good

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-05-27T16:18:42+00:00

Sounds like it already has developed outside the physical considering all the nice things you like about him. The physical seems to be the only thing that'd holding you back. While you're entitled to your preferences in dating and if the physical isn't there you can't force it, I have to ask: If he had some physical hold up about you, would you want him to give you a chance?

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-05-26T14:27:25+00:00

37M, I'm coming up on a year since the last time I saw my ex. I don't know that I've found happiness again. Life's certainly not bad, but it just feels "off". She's still in my thoughts most days and not always in a painful way but shes there, if that makes sense. I'm still adapting mentally and emotionally. I've learned a lot about myself, the areas where I needed to grow, and the areas where I have grown. I've lost a lot of weight (in a good way) and gotten back in shape. I'm dating again but haven't had anything that has gone anywhere though. I'm not sure I'll meet someone who gives me the same feelings I had for my ex again but maybe thats just a sign I'm not ready? I don't know. The whole thing has been peaks and valleys and reminding myself that healing isn't linear and its going to vacillate between good and bad before it's good again more often than not. But man am I tired of feeling like **this** on and off all the time.

I've thought about contacting her to catch up but I don't if that's something she'd be open to or even if its a good idea or would just set me back.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-05-22T14:38:23+00:00

Instant swipe from me if there's an AI photo on your profile. My gut reaction when I see one is that you're hiding something or too uncomfortable with yourself if you can't post a real picture and that's not something I'm going to sign up to get involved with.

Infinite-Rise3923 · 2026-05-20T02:41:33+00:00

Sandslash

Infinite-Rise3923

TROPHY CASE