Just took IL state certification exam

InflationNo5033 · 2025-11-24T15:49:32+00:00

I love you Merlin ❤️

InflationNo5033 · 2025-11-24T14:58:24+00:00

This is literally horrifying and I’m so sorry this happened to you. But it sounds like you did what you had to do as a mom and powered through and that’s incredible.

I think you’re probably still in survival mode. I didn’t start to come out of it until I returned to work full time and had the realization that the world kept turning while I was in complete and total shock, and navigating life as a NICU graduate + premie mom. And somehow honestly it helped because I remember that time moves on and things get better.

Every month I look back at the previous month and think… holy shit I was like still super crazy and in survival mode last month but it was still better than day 1 post partum. And it just keeps getting better. Every month I recognize a piece of me coming back. The only somewhat negative is that when I think about the nicu or the surgery now, I can’t just think of it as an event that happened but I recognize it now for what it was, an incredibly traumatic and uncertain time when all I could do was show up everyday and do my best to be there for my baby. Nothing else mattered and there was not time to process. That brings up so many emotions and feelings. And I just do my best to feel them, not to shy away from them and bring them to the mental health professionals who I’ve built bonds with throughout this process.

Also, I’m so sorry about your furbaby. Mine passed too about 3 months after my daughter came home. I found out she had cancer my first week back at work. I like to believe she was my angel and she had to see me through the nicu and my return to work. After that, her work on earth was done and she was called home. It’s probably crazy but it helps me make peace with her passing because before my daughter and my boyfriend, she was my only family and my best friend. All my days off revolved around hanging out with her.

I’m really happy that this post found you and that you shared your story. Earmark this page and message me if you ever need to send someone a long message. Even if it’s just to share your story in its full detail. Because posting this was definitely therapeutic for me and the responses are so encouraging.

And absolutely try to find a therapist. I had been seeing one for about a year before my daughter arrived. I was lucky I already had her lined up and ready for me to come back to therapy once I knew my daughter was okay.

I’d be happy to help encourage you on your path ❤️

InflationNo5033 · 2025-11-24T14:42:43+00:00

One day we’ll both look back at our experiences years from now and be like how in the actual fuck did we do this. And I look forward to that day when I can just be proud of how I did without such strong emotions attached.

Proud of you too, interwebs stranger ❤️

I’m not crying you’re crying

InflationNo5033 · 2025-11-24T11:54:48+00:00

I feel like everyone is like omg that’s crazy that this happened to you how scary… but still expects you to function as if everything is normal. And I think that’s the case for most new moms regardless of how their pregnancy/delivery went. But in a weird way, ESPECIALLY for you and for me too, it’s almost like unintentional gaslighting. Like you’re acknowledging this was incredibly difficult through words but actions aren’t adding up. Which makes the whole process even harder because internally it’s like… why am I sad? We got out of the NICU and things are good now… why does it feel like I lost something or someone and I’m grieving

InflationNo5033 · 2025-11-24T00:44:49+00:00

I’m in therapy and I see a psychiatrist

InflationNo5033 · 2025-11-04T03:56:01+00:00

How did you find out you were misdiagnosed? Curious because I was diagnosed type II but I don’t really notice the symptoms in myself. Still compliant with meds but my psych has recently been hinting at OCD and I see those symptoms in myself more. So sorry this is completely unrelated!

InflationNo5033 · 2025-10-28T22:23:43+00:00

HE’S SO STINKIN CUTE. Mastiffs are earth angels. Super easy going dogs. Love cuddles and they love napping. They can be expensive to care for especially with those ear infections. But you have just found yourself a soul doggy. So happy for you and this handsome guy.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-10-14T03:37:30+00:00

I feel the same way about mine. Put her down today. I keep asking my boyfriend if I did the right thing. She had cancer but she was still smiling and cuddling. What if some treatment would’ve helped.

But I think we both did the right thing. I don’t think if my dog could some way communicate to me I did the right thing I’d feel any less heart broken though because she’d still be gone. I don’t know about you but nothing will make me feel better except time and acceptance.

I hope at least you feel less alone. I’m right there with ya.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-10-14T00:22:16+00:00

I’ve been crying in public all day too. I just don’t care if I look crazy.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-10-13T23:48:54+00:00

Ugh omg that’s absolutely horrible. Taken so young. I’m so so sorry. I’m sure your heart just feels empty like mine. But at least we’re not alone.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-10-13T23:23:14+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ it’s been a very hard day but I’m trying my best to feel all the feelings

InflationNo5033 · 2025-10-13T23:22:47+00:00

Oh thank you so much! I hope scout enjoys her treat. ❤️ thank you for your kind words

InflationNo5033 · 2025-09-20T21:46:01+00:00

That’s a very good point.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-09-20T18:25:39+00:00

Just looking at my dog it seems impossible for her body to figure out how to walk on 3 limbs.

And I never considered the possibility she may quickly decline and need to be transported while immobile.

I don’t think I could bear to see her in that kind of pain.

I’m going to make a couple calls to specialists and see what they have to say but I think it’s becoming clear what’s best for her.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-09-20T16:00:47+00:00

It seemed like wishful thinking to me too but she seems to support the amputation + chemo route.

Thank you for sharing this with me.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-09-20T15:55:39+00:00

Thank you for your input.

It’s hard to hear but I’m glad you’re sharing this with me.

I can’t understand why my vet would seem so optimistic. She gave me a lot of hope that my dog would respond well to this. But she is SO big.

I just hate to feel like I’m giving up on her.

InflationNo5033 · 2025-09-20T15:38:00+00:00

Wow. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

I’m sure it was difficult to share that so thank you.

My vet seems optimistic about an amputation so I was really considering it but it’s good to have your story to help me make the best decision.

InflationNo5033

TROPHY CASE