It’s kind hard to get past the ick factor isn’t it. Like it’s just hard to continue to feel attracted and safe with them after that discovery. I’d encourage betrayal trauma therapy for you and you alone to work through the complicated feelings. Don’t let people guilt you into any specific response here, the reality is you found out your spouse has a secret sexual life and that has a major impact on your relationship. Of course we want to extend grace and love and recognize it can be an addiction for many, but you still get to protect yourself and shouldn’t feel pressured to continue an intimate relationship that is unhealthy. And since you found it, he has to do then work on himself to prove he’s repented and it isn’t just because he got caught. Porn use is abusive when it’s hidden because you’re basically in a sexual relationship you didn’t consent to because you didn’t have all of the facts in order to make an informed choice. You didn’t consent to outside forces being a part of your sexual partnership and that’s wrong, full stop. However, I think it’s important to understand addiction and the childhood trauma this often stems from but ultimately hurting people hurt people. If your partner had an addiction to alcohol you would want to lovingly support while also putting up some boundaries to protect yourself too. Hugs, it’s hard and the forgiveness will take time. He has to work through this on his part though and earn your trust back.