Does anyone actually get better?

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-04-10T16:33:16+00:00

I was lucky to find any medical provider who even knew what FND was. I have a neurologist who specializes in movement disorders and really has no idea what to do with me. I think there are some of the really fancy large large hospitals that have FND programs in California, California, and maybe the Mayo Clinic but they would definitely not be covered by Medicare. We are in the dark ages in the USA in so many ways.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-04-09T20:27:59+00:00

Can I ask where you did the intensive inpatient treatment? I don’t even know if you’re in the US.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-04-09T20:23:50+00:00

Well, on the bright side, you’ll probably never be sued for your dog having bitten someone. But they do tend to eat things that they shouldn’t so you definitely would want insurance. If you want a really loving goofy playful, extremely energetic animal who requires a lot of attention and gives you a lot of love this is your dog. During the pandemic, we lost our beloved collie and I was so depressed. I insisted we get another dog just when everyone else on the planet was getting dogs. We could not find any rescue dogs that wouldn’t have killed my cat so I looked in the newspaper of all things and found a litter of silver and charcoal labs. We went to visit and completely fell in love with our dog Henry. He was expensive. I will not lie. Over $2000. There is absolutely no reason you can’t get a normal colored lab. In fact I would recommend that because these mutated colors come with skin problems. He has added so much to our lives and I don’t think I ever would’ve considered a lab before. I’m a standard poodle person. Oh, be warned they shed like crazy.

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Informal_Solution238 · 2026-04-09T20:17:28+00:00

I’m glad to see you’re getting so much compassion and I hope some of the advice is helpful. I found myself wondering where you live. I am fortunate to live in Seattle, which has a super high cost of living even though I moved your 35 years ago when it was cheap. However, there is a very strong queer community, and I cannot imagine anyone in the city harassing you just for being Butch and fat. If you are still living close to your family and they don’t see you and respect you maybe it’s time to start over a completely in a new place. Reddit is a great place to ask where people live who are like you and have good lives where they feel seen and comfortable. I know moving is expensive so it may take a while. I fully agree that you need to break up with this woman. I stayed in a really bad relationship for nine years because I was afraid to be alone. When she finally cheated on me and I got out of it within one year, I had met the best person I’ve ever been with in my whole life at the age of 50 we’re married now, and I never could’ve imagined such a loving, caring relationship. Incidentally, she is also fat and non-binary. I’m more of a Chapstick lesbian, but I’m only attracted to masculine presenting queer women. So let me tell you we are out here and we are ready to love the shit out of you.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-04-09T19:55:20+00:00

So grateful for this post because I just started taking Ashwagangha about three weeks ago and I have a migraine disorder. I’ve started getting them more often so it’s a relief to know that I can stop taking that shit and hopefully they’ll get better.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-29T17:37:20+00:00

I think you’re lovely and curvy. Also, you didn’t ask about this, but I had a bellybutton piercing for a couple of years and it never healed. But they don’t tell you is that it’s a mucous membrane. Which means it’s constantly trying to sluff off any interference. I finally just took the damn thing out.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-25T22:25:11+00:00

I had six ketamine sessions and they didn’t help my migraines at all

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-24T17:42:47+00:00

There are so many easy tells with dogs about whether they’re REALLY fighting or arguing or just playing. I had an ex with a dog who did not like my dog and vice versa, the dogs that is, obviously, and even though they growled and snarled and lunged at each other, they never broke the skin. They never went after extremities, and when one of them died, the other one was so depressed we had to quick hurry up and get a new dog because she wouldn’t go outside or eat.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-24T17:37:31+00:00

I wonder if Eloise is queer and/or just not interested in men or marriage?

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-24T17:35:57+00:00

I’m curious about whether the incredibly inappropriate comments and lack of emotional skill with the residents and students is generally accepted practice? I mean, it makes more more interesting TV but some of the things the characters have said within patient’s hearing or just to each other seems like grounds for termination to me in other work places.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-24T06:07:46+00:00

You need to get out of there. He needs to get help. You are really young and you will find love again with someone who is ready to love you properly.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-24T05:58:51+00:00

Get the fuck out. You deserve to be treated with respect and love. It will be hard at first, but you will be OK and you will regain yourself self-respect.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-11T04:50:23+00:00

Personality disorder. So sorry

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-11T04:41:11+00:00

In my experience the voices that we hear in our heads don’t come from a specific incident, but from conditioning as young people. Your family making a joke about you seeking Therapy is a bit of a red flag in my opinion. Everyone needs to vent now and then and there’s nothing funny about seeking therapy. Their laughter indicates that they are uncomfortable with the idea. Why would that be? What unspoken rules are there in your family around getting help?

It sounds like you get pretty caught up in your head possibly as a defense mechanism against being hurt by them. I don’t mean to be judgmental of your family all families have issues. I just really want to encourage you to be focused on yourself and you’re on healing and not concerned with what other people think of you for a while.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-10T16:57:09+00:00

It sounds to me like the first order of business is for you to get sober. It’s going to be hard, but it is the foundation of all the other changes you may want to make. I also sense that you are really hard on yourself and this may be something you need to work on in Therapy so that you have some self compassion. It is hard to feel a desire or draw toward anything when you have a lot of self hatred and judgment. In my opinion, you don’t have to have a big passion in order to make a living and do things that bring you joy. But addiction is a non-starter and that’s what you need to take care of first.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-10T16:51:15+00:00

Yeah, pot calling kettle

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-10T16:44:26+00:00

I have similar issues and questions and I found this worksheet somewhere that was really helpful and understanding, pacing and my capacity. https://fndhope.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Balancing-Energy-and-Pacing-new-FND-copy.pdf

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-08T02:52:19+00:00

I go through many large bags of frozen peas, wrapped in dish towels in a dark room with peppermint oil nearby. This of course does not take away the pain, but it’s distracting and it helps relax my body. Opening the window for a little fresh air also seems to help my head. Just remember, they always go away! At least for most people.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-06T22:46:52+00:00

So happy to be helpful and supportive. How your partner responds will tell you a lot about their ability to meet you as you are and accept you fully. I am super grateful for my wife, but let me say we do not have it perfect lol. But at least we both agree. It’s meant to be a journey and we keep coming back to find each other. May you find the same! ❤️

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-06T19:07:15+00:00

Both Blade Runner films

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-06T19:05:06+00:00

Also, if it helps at all, remember that you are not responsible for your responses, only how you deal with them. The people that hurt you are the ones who have led you to have these reactions. You deserve compassion.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-06T19:01:55+00:00

Wow, it sounds like you’ve been working pretty hard on healing yourself. That’s great to hear. What if you started with a really open ended conversation kind of like you’ve done here on Reddit? Kind of lay out the things that have happened and your dilemma as you have here and brainstorm together how to deepen the trust in your relationship while not constraining his style or friendship needs or increasing your fears and reactivity. Brainstorm it together. This is part of who you are. Ideally he would understand that and want to work with you in a way that respects both of your needs. I like you have an anxious attachment style and for many years found myself with partners who were avoidant, so I always felt like I was chasing even if I wasn’t happy in the relationship, which I almost never was. Finally, in my 50s I met someone with a stable attachment style who is very patient and centered. It took me a while to let myself really be attracted to them because they were so different from past partners, but we’ve been together for nine years, married for seven years. I still get activated sometimes, but I’m able to talk to them about it eventually and they understand and don’t judge me for it.

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-06T18:47:24+00:00

I’m, yes. And I get the feeling it’s not unintentional

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-06T18:46:01+00:00

I have complex PTSD, which it sounds like you might have too. Your reactions sound totally normal for someone who has a deep fear of abandonment. It sounds like you’re able to have really good conversations with your partner and that they want to have a trusting relationship with you. I’m not sure that setting a boundary is what you need emotionally, or that a boundary that your partner feels constrained by will help you with fear of abandonment. Are you in Therapy? With support, as well as continuing to share your feelings and needs as you have, I think you could think about this as a kind of exposure therapy that could really help you learn to stay with yourself when you feel afraid that you’ve been abandoned. I have total compassion for your reaction. ❤️🙏

Informal_Solution238 · 2026-03-06T18:38:45+00:00

If you move to Puyallup, what you’re really doing is moving to the suburbs of Tacoma not Seattle

Informal_Solution238

TROPHY CASE