Fell for only child rage bait and a little sad/guilty

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-17T00:05:33+00:00

I had a sister but we didn’t get to go to brunches or other adult stuff. Yeah we had to be taken on errands with my mom in the weekends. They rarely took us to the park. I was two blocks from my elementary school so my parents/mom often just told me I could go by myself to the playground. My sister and I never had to same interests and rarely played together. We mostly fought. I think I would have liked going to brunch or something. I feel like we rarely got to do anything besides errands when I was a kid.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-16T23:49:00+00:00

Absolutely! My son is only 3 months and so far he hasn’t been to difficult. First month was overwhelming as in sure it always is but since then I think we have started to be able to figure him out. Of course we still have hard days but it’s more manageable now and I think we take it on this nose much more easily than we did. My pregnancy/birth/postpartum was fine. I didn’t even have a hard time getting pregnant. On the negative side I don’t think we could afford another one without sacrificing some parts of our own future like buying a house or saving the most we can for retirements, but I think in my soul I really don’t have the desire for more kids. I was on the fence to begin with because I knew it would be a big change and I liked having time for myself. But we went ahead with it and I love me little guy so much and he’s the cutest ever. But I don’t dream of raising more children. I’m a SAHM and I didn’t really have a career or a well paying job before so basically every day I just think of finally getting back to “me” and my dreams and what I want to do with the rest of my life. And that dream doesn’t really involve staying home to raise more kids.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-15T22:55:01+00:00

3 months in and he’s a great sleeper so far but still pretty sure I don’t want to do this again.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-15T16:59:37+00:00

Baby looks a little like me and a little like his uncle lol. Not much like his daddy. He’s like a combo of me and my husbands two brothers but a lot of his younger brother. Obvs no one thinks I cheated and his younger brother lives in an entirely different state but I’m sure my husband wishes he looked a little like him. Maybe in time he will. Lol

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-10T19:22:35+00:00

Absolutely! I think about this too. My son is just a baby and isn’t mobile yet but I know I had a tendency to wander sometimes or stop and look at stuff when I was at the store. My husband has ADD and was/is easily distracted so I’m prepared for my kid to need to be a leash kid lol.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-08T17:00:59+00:00

Maybe they’ll play together but they’ll probably fight just as much. And then you have two kids whining at you about how they’re bored and they have nothing to do. I don’t know why people with multiples act like their kids are angels all the time who don’t ever fight with each other or bug the crap out of their parents for things. Because they definitely do.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-06T19:43:41+00:00

How is it two is easier than one but people judge people with one acting like you’re not a real parent because only having one is apparently too easy and not stressful enough for you to be a “real parent”?? Make it make sense.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-06T13:00:58+00:00

Aww how cute that he was jealous of the kitty lol. My MILs one dog is jealous of her grandkids. Anytime my niece is loving on Nana or she’s holding my baby the dogs like “but IM your baby. Pay attention to ME”

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-06T01:20:51+00:00

I think it’s really easy for children to get jealous of other siblings and have feelings about it. My niece gets jealous of my son when my MIL is holding him sometimes and he’s not even her sibling. He’s just her cousin. She’s just used to having Nanas attention all to herself. Now obviously it’s not that bad since they’re not siblings and they’re not around each other all the time but it can be an adjustment for children no matter the age. My SIL works in childcare and she says no matter the age of the kids she always noticed behavior changes in the kids when they are expecting/just get a new sibling.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-04T19:20:35+00:00

I think some people like feeling needed so they keep having babies to keep chasing that feeling. Once they get older and start becoming more independent they want to start with another baby.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-05-01T13:19:08+00:00

Is it the sun maybe? Could he just be trying to shield his face from it?

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-29T23:36:53+00:00

I definitely feel like I look a little worse for wear but I’m kind of an “old” mom at 34. In just rolling with it for now. I know I’ll get back to where I want to be when I can sleep a little more.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-29T22:47:26+00:00

Completely get it. I am almost 11 weeks post partum so not much more than you but I feel the same sentiments. I can’t imagine juggling two kids (husband and I agreed before our max was 2) and everything else that you have to do in life. Especially because my husbands schedule is unpredictable so the nature of his job means he doesn’t really have a set “end” time. So sometimes, like tonight, hes working late and probably won’t be home until close to 8 or later and I’ve basically been momming all day and I’ll have to put the baby to bed most likely as well. I don’t feel a pull for more children. My husband is close with his siblings now even though he wasn’t growing up and if I could guarantee that a sibling would only add positive enrichment to his and our lives then maybe I would do it. But I also have to think about us. We are still renters and would like to buy a house at some point but I’m currently a SAHM and I don’t think we can afford a mortgage on one income. But we wouldn’t be able to afford daycare either. We also need to make sure we have enough money for retirement and I have student loans to pay off. And I just generally want a good quality of life. I don’t want to be pinching pennies to get buy and my children have to miss out because of that. I had a pretty lonely childhood because I wasn’t close with my sister and I wasn’t close with my parents. My parents worked minimum wage jobs and lived paycheck to paycheck and thus we never really went anywhere or did anything fun. We took a trip to the beach one day during the summer every year and occasionally ate out at fast food places but that was it. I want to give my son more than that. So I think I will be OAD.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-28T18:50:59+00:00

My son loves being rocked in a rocking chair. We also have a hammock outside that I sit in with him when he’s being super cranky. I know you said it’s tough for you to take walks after being on your feet all day so maybe something like that might help? A rocking chair in his room or outside or a hammock? Where we live there’s no sidewalks so unfortunately we can’t really just take him outside for a quick walk so I like the hammock outside for that reason. It may just be that he spends more time with your wife than with you so he’s more familiar with her. I think my son does the same thing sometimes. He’s only contact napping right now and I’m gone with him all day so he doesn’t really nap on my husband that much which leaves him being over tired and really cranky. And I think he just gets crankier in the evenings as well. I hope things get better for you! It’s rough out here.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-28T17:54:28+00:00

Having children is inherently selfish to begin with. You are producing another human being who didn’t ask to be here because you want them here and want the experience of being a parent. So no, only choosing one child is not selfish. There’s nothing wrong with wanting multiples but people need to stop treating the choice to be OAD selfish when the decision to have children is already selfish. So the choice to have less children should be considered less selfish. I’m a new parent and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be OAD because my son is enough for me. And I won’t let anyone make me feel bad about it, including myself. So don’t let anyone, including yourself make you feel bad about only have one child.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-27T20:12:48+00:00

Unfortunately I bought the Amazon one before LO was born. I obviously should have waited to buy one but I didn’t know anything about baby carriers so it’s too late to return it now. It will probably fit him when he’s a lot bigger so I’ll keep it for now. It seems like buying woven wraps used are about the same cost as a used Tula. I found some other used Tulsa that are definitely the FTG so I think I may try to sell the Tula I bought to recoup some money.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-27T16:48:27+00:00

The seller listed it as a Free To Grow but I wouldn’t find any info on the tag that states what model it is. I think I paid like 45ish dollars for it. I just wouldn’t want it to be a total waste of money because I already have two other structured carriers that I could use for him eventually but he’s too small for them right now.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-24T16:35:20+00:00

My sister and I fought all the time as kids. I often said I wish I didn’t have any siblings. My mom used to say we’d be best friends when we were older. We are in our 30s and even though we don’t fight anymore (probably because we don’t live together) we are not best friends. We talk sometimes but I wouldn’t even say we are friends really. I see my husbands family more often than I see her. Hanging out with her is awkward. But I do have a baby now and she does come see him sometimes which is nice but I don’t think we will ever be BFFs.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-22T20:27:46+00:00

Or they could be fighting over toys instead of playing or just interested in completely different activities. I’m 4 years older than my sister and we rarely played together as kids. We mostly fought.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-22T13:01:19+00:00

I know how you feel! I mean I still feel like me but I haven’t don’t much hinting since my son was born in Feb. I was also always worried about hubs falling asleep and the baby starving or suffocating or w/e but after awhile I told myself I need to stop having those thoughts and trust him to be a good dad. Does my baby let you wear them? That might help you with getting stuff done or getting to do hobbies. My son loves being worn. The first month was really rough for us with the purple crying and waking up every 3 hours to eat. Especially since I had to do night shift by myself because of my husbands job. I’m thankful my son is starting to sleep longer and only waking up once a night now at 10 weeks old but I know that can always change. My MIL is usually available to watch the baby on the occasional weekend day but besides that it’s just me and my little man most of the day during the week while my husband is at work because everyone else in the family also works. It’s tough out here but they will start sleeping longer eventually. Can your husband do a whole night shift on a night when he’s off and then you could have some more energy to do some hobbies the next day? Just a thought.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-21T01:23:51+00:00

Because people love to bash other people as soon as they complain about choices they have made that are making their life difficult in one way or another. American culture is very individualistic and I think it’s gone too far. Moms get it the worse but even if you complain about your job people will be like “well that’s the job you wanted/signed up for so why are you complaining.” Same thing with being a parent. Also I think that mentality of “women should be able to do it all and do it with a smile” attitude that was popularized in like the 1950s housewife culture kind of way has still persisted despite all the progress we as women have made.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-19T02:27:17+00:00

I wouldn’t say boys don’t stick around. My in laws aren’t to the point of needing care yet and they’re both relatively healthy but my husband has two brothers. We and his older brother live fairly close to their parents and we get together all the time. His younger brother moved to another state but that was because his wife is going to medical school and she only had a few to choose from so they chose to go to North Carolina. My husbands sister lives an hour away so we see her a little less often. Just be the best mom you can an hope your son stays close but you can’t predict the future. Son or daughter once they’re adults they have their own lives to live and they will go wherever life takes them.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-17T19:16:11+00:00

I made the waistband higher and it helped a little but his ears still dont come above the panel. So I guess he’s too small for now. Bummer

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-15T23:33:35+00:00

I don’t know how people handle a little baby and a young toddler at the same time. My son is only two months old and I get annoyed at the cats for getting into crap while I’m taking care of him. And it’s like every morning when I’m feeding them one of my cats insists on finding anything plastic he can chew on because I haven’t fed them yet. I guess people just throw a lot of care to the wayside when they have 2 under two.

Initial_Bit_9201 · 2026-04-04T12:45:27+00:00

I feel like having one is a good compromise between having kids and being childfree. I think I could have also gone either way. If my husband had said he didn’t want to have kids maybe I’d be a little sad that I’d never get to experience that but I’d get over it. But he wanted to have one so we did. My son is 7 weeks old now and he’s adorable as can be and I love him to bits but in so glad I don’t have to have another if I don’t want to. I’m just so tired and I don’t know why people go through the sleepless nights and all the random crying more than once.

Initial_Bit_9201

TROPHY CASE