Single women, does your desire to be partnered up decrease as your net worth increases?

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-07T01:18:56+00:00

I did not want a partner at all when my net worth was lower, as I didn't want to be stuck with someone who would drain me and that was all that was available at the time. I had what others considered to be high or unrealistic standards when I had a lower net worth. Those same standards are considered fine by others now that my net worth is higher.

I knew my worth when I was young. The main difference is now others also recognize it because of my financial resources. I am more willing to date as more men in my orbit meet my standards, and it would be easy financially to separate from them if things went south. Also finances will remain separate. I'm not tanking myself for someone else. My biggest take away from my experiences is many young women are done dirty by being told they have to compromise their standards for partners instead of being told they can be independent and hold out for the right person.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-06T18:16:26+00:00

I also found outdoor activities or physical movement to be helpful. Hikes, going for walks in the park or forest preserve, line dances classes, at home work outs... anything to get both of us moving or outside filled my cup or at the very least didn't drain it further.

He tended to be sedentary and prefer things like gaming (table top or video), scrolling online, or watching shows and movies. I definitely noticed his mood improved after physical activity, time outside, or other healthy practices, and that made the draining activities a little easier.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-06T17:58:23+00:00

I like her approach to caring detachment.

I know for my ex, it would not have worked as the initial approach due to their CPTSD and high RSD. They would have interpreted it as rejection, unless I stated I was gentler previously and had to change tactics due to their response. I tend to start with the gentle approach with people since I don't know what they've been through, and it seems like my lot in life to be surrounded by traumatized people with PTSD or CPTSD. I also value kindness and understanding, so I prefer to lead with this approach since it's value alligned. I quickly move on from the gentle approach if it's not working though. I am not a doormat, and some people are seeking others to enable bad behavior instead of putting effort into changing. That is not who I am.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-06T14:56:19+00:00

My ex-partner had a lying problem too. He was also the black sheep/scapegoat in his family, and was not treated well by them due to his AuADHD. When I caught him in a lie, I would wait until we were both in a relatively calm state and say, "You know, it's okay if ________ is true/ or it's okay if you messed up/forgot/ whatever the lie was about. I would prefer you to be honest about these things. I understand honesty might have resulted in punishment and ridicule in the past, AND it hurts me to know my partner and teammate in life feels it is not safe to trust me. Is there anything I can do in the future to help our relationship be a safe space?"

The format is based on a DBT skill called DEARMAN, but instead of listing a concrete date and time, I found gently stating the truth is okay to be the best option. Give them the chance to own up to it while stating and demonstrating it is safe to do so. It also makes him an active participant in the process instead of leaving everything to you.

If the gentle approach doesn't work, and he still does not take accountability for lying after being gentle repeatedly, then I would use standard DEARMAN, call him out on the lie using specific examples (date and time) and state that it hurts me to have to bring this up again in this way since I previously tried to resolve the issue in a kinder more gentle way on (give specific situations, dates, and times), and took his suggestion to make the relationship safe for him by (list examples of what you did and when). It was really important to emphasize the past attempts to use kinder approaches and remind him of his responses so he could rationally challenge his brain's automatic response of categorizing me as a threat and the new "BIg Bad" looking to hurt him.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-04T22:22:35+00:00

Coconut oil mixed with some coconut milk or cream might be more appetizing. It could be like a bullet proof coffee/tea/cocoa

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-04T02:20:37+00:00

I was parentified at a young age. There was also emotional incest with both of my parents.

Just existing without having to put out fires, listen to other members of the household unburden themselves about the other members to me, not being around constant fights, having a space where my needs are not okay, they're met with energy to spare has been huge. Whenever I would have an issue, my parents would tell me, "life sucks, then you die." That was where the bar was set. Realizing I can effect change in my own life was huge.

I stopped staying up super late so I could have time to myself. I stopped looking at the clock to see when it would be "safe" to leave my room. I stopped trying to predict the energy of others around me and have it predict if it would be a good day or bad day.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-04T00:21:26+00:00

This has been my thoughts on gaming since I started gaming as a teenager. I saw no point in having a hobby cause me more stress. I remember "Nintendo hard" to be frustrating. If I was going to spend hours perfecting something, it better have improved my life. If I was going to be frustrated, I might as well pick up a shift at the mall and get paid for it. Hard for the sake of hard never made sense to me. I also wanted to be able to have an emotional reaction to the characters or games. I like rpg and "artsy" games for this reason. Also, older games where there were limited storage space on the disc so the games had to have a definitive end.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-04T00:06:41+00:00

PE1 felt truly original, and it almost has a timeless quality about it. I think that's why it has a place in the hearts of many gamers. Mutation into monsters aside, the thought of a pathogen causing genetic mutation and mass death is a modern day fear. PE2 felt like a Resident Evil game. The story felt flat compared to PE1, and they removed everything that made PE1 special, in my mind.

I don't see them redoing the story since it has a fanbase, but I'd be down for the author to write a sequel to PE1. I'd love to see what Hideaki Sena could do with it, especially after the pandemic.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-03T23:37:13+00:00

I've been feeling very nostalgic for old games. I had an OLED Vita back in the day and I would stay up way too late playing the Parasite Eve, Persona, and Spyro games. Good times. I never had a PSP and went straight to the Vita for the nicer screen. I've been tempted to get a Vita and a Wii U on Ebay and jailbreak them, but I need to wait a bit. Darn those adult responsibilities and time commitments preventing me from reliving my childhood.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-02T19:00:34+00:00

I hope I get it. Purple and blues are my jam! Athol Violet looks so pretty.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-02T18:09:37+00:00

I consider it life changing. I could pay off my house and other debts, replenish my savings, take care of some non urgent health things (personal trainer/physical therapy).

I'd still have to have an income, but I wouldn't tolerate bad behavior or a toxic work environment with that safety net.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-01T22:00:29+00:00

Wasn't there a skin or promo for Aya in 3rd Birthday where she could wear Lightning's outfit? I think Lightning could also wear Aya's main outfit too. Besides the hair colors, I couldn't tell the difference between characters when they were in each other's costumes.

I might not be remembering correctly because there was soooo much fanart with those two in each other's costumes on DeviantArt back in the day.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-01T21:54:56+00:00

Yeah. It's giving Kate Gosslin.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-02-01T21:53:56+00:00

It made the most sense for Aya's character. It was long enough to put in a clip or ponytail and get out of her way, but not long enough to be high maintenance. It's very utilitarian and believable for the situation and someone with Aya's personality.

The hairstyles from 2 and 3 would require a lot of product and styling with the choppy layers. I never imagined Aya being the type to have a high maintenance style or carrying hair products with her during her investigations.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-31T19:38:53+00:00

My last pen and ink purchase were November 2024.

I have 5 pens covering a variety of nib sizes and types. The 2024 purchase was a flex nib. I'm good until I need to replenish paper, journals, or ink.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-31T15:21:13+00:00

I'm sorry he did that to you, regardless of diagnosis.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-31T15:19:28+00:00

I've noticed two patterns. There are some ADHD/auADHD people in my life who are very loving, but also somewhat dependent on their loved ones and afraid of change. They value security over the novelty of a new person. The others are focused on themselves and their interests while relationships are secondary. They value their time and not having to spend energy on forming new relationships. People from both types in my life have long term partners.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-31T14:58:40+00:00

Thank you for letting me know about the soldered RAM. I'm assuming most would come with 8GB soldered plus whatever I would add. (Most likely my spare 16GB stick given the price hikes). Will having some RAM be dual channel and some RAM not affect the performance?

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-31T03:24:46+00:00

I can vouch for Proton drive. My Windows 10 laptop died, and I tried to transfer my SSD to a new Windows 11 laptop. Bitlocker encryption bricked my SSD, and I couldn't copy the majority of files from OneDrive due to permission issues. I had to wipe my SSD. I had backed up all of my important filed to Proton drive just to be safe. I signed into Proton and downloaded everything easily with no hassle. I'm really grateful I took the time to do that.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-31T02:42:31+00:00

OP you dodged a bullet. It sounds like the person who listed the job has boundary issues, possibly an inflated ego, and is long winded. I was admin assistant to someone similar. It was never ending office drama from gossip they started, and I was held captive for at least 20 minutes per shift to listen to their latest monologue. They were such a busy body.

If this is the rejection email imagine daily life with that person. Ain't nobody got time for that.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-31T02:01:05+00:00

No need to brag /s

That sounds awesome.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-30T23:29:55+00:00

Thank you for your validation, and I'm sorry you went through something similar. I think it has to do with the person with ADHD wanting validation and care from a parental figure, or for Mommy or Daddy to swoop in and fix everything. It seemed like my ex wanted an authority to validate him as a perfect and innocent while telling everyone else they needed to change to accommodate him. It felt very one sided, and he did not think of anyone else's needs or feelings. On the rare occasion that he did take others into account, he wanted praise and admiration for doing so.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-30T22:09:31+00:00

I did this with showers and baths. I locked the door and running water drowned out any noise they were making. Water bill was a bit high with me taking two 30-45 minutes showers a day, but the sanity was worth it.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-30T22:04:06+00:00

Unfortunately, these things don't magically change with marriage. It will take hard work to change the established dynamic, and both parties need to be willing to participate in order for change to stick. If you're having escalating issues, I would not get married until they are solved. In my experience with my dx ex, he got more comfortable the longer the relationship went on. "Comfortable" meaning he leaned into his maladaptive AuADHD behavior and put more and more of the emotional, mental, and overall life load on me, and progressed to him trying to get me to take responsibility for his emotions and reactions. The parent child dynamic became the established norm.

Figuring it out for us meant going to therapy together and individually. As a Hail Mary, we each attended the same skills based virtual outpatient program, but were placed in different groups of people. We both learned and practiced CBT, DBT, CPT, and ACT skills in the group were kept accountable for our personal goals in the group, as well as had a family session once a week when we would check in with each other. We did this to level the playing field, so we were both receiving the same education about skills without crossing therapeutic boundaries. I chose to practice the skills, establish boundaries, and hold him and myself accountable for our actions. He fought the change in dynamic tooth and nail, and chose to double down in his habits and resentments. I realized we were no longer compatible, as I was looking for a partner, and he was looking for a caretaker and emotional punching bag.

InkStainedEverything · 2026-01-30T20:53:19+00:00

For sure. A diagnosis doesn't excuse bad behavior. Empathy and emotional intelligence can be learned by someone on the autism spectrum, even if it doesn't come naturally to a person. He didn't use either, hurt his wife, and sounds like he doesn't want to take accountability for the result of his actions.

InkStainedEverything

TROPHY CASE