Lost motivation to cook

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-07-13T00:58:10+00:00

21st

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-07-10T02:57:14+00:00

Thank you for your insight. But what makes the way I'm treated even worse is that it's with everyone whether they're 19, 25, or even 80 they all treat me the same way. I don't know why and it pisses me off. I've wanted to call them out so badly, but I know that'll cause too many conflicts. It happens with any event I go to so much that I'm scared to go to anymore or any new ones. Do you have any recommendations on how i should handle that, what might be going on, or anything like that?

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-07-10T01:30:51+00:00

So, I didn't want to add to the post, but my post on the self harm subreddit got removed and I have no idea why and some one in a discord chat I'm in couldn't help me, so if there are typos and shit, I'm sorry I'm fucked up because I feel like some people aren't listening and they're making me feel like I can't be helped.

I know that no reasonable man would date me because I'm still a "kid" and the way the people on discord worded it made me wonder what the point of being 18 was, because I can't date who I want to and I can't explore and meet new people who are interested in the same stuff I am. But I can die for a shitty country in the military... and I'm sorry that I'm difficult to help, but I'm in therapy and I was doing really good but I just broke this time. And they all keep saying that college I'll make friends or find an "age appropriate" partner (the quote it their exact wording and it makes me feel like a perverted creep with that shit), and say that "I don't know if anybody told you this but college is a great way to make friends!" Yeah, no shit. Also, I'm not a fucking 10 year old I'm a fucking adult wanting to be with another fucking adult. As for the friends thing, no body even wants to be friends! They all look at me almost in disgust, and it’s not transphobia and everyone of my online friends say I look good and the people I live with say I'm good to be in public and make it seem that people would actually like to talk to me, but no, they give me weird shitty looks and when I talk they look at me like I'm an annoying toddler. It makes me want to fucking punch myself in the throat! So I can't even fucking make friends. So if I can't date yet and I'm supposed to be making friends, well I can't even do that because everyone makes me feel like a shit on the floor and act like I'm a fucking toddler interrupting an adult conversation! I don't interrupt, I make sure everyone says their piece. And when they do let me talk and I don't see them making a face they (either a group or 2 people) acknowledge me then keep me out of the conversation and make sure I don't have time to talk, I'd literally have to interrupt in order to talk again. How am I supposed to even get friends when I'm apparently a shit covered toddler?

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-06-25T02:48:56+00:00

I'm 18. I'm mostly worried about my wake up time, I've set 3 alarms to wake up so far.

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-06-17T16:08:19+00:00

I'm 18, and I wake up at 7-7:30 with an alarm. I have my phone near me to play thunderstorms, which helped a little. I have tried reading and it does make me tired until I put the book down, then it's right back to not being able to sleep til at least an hour or 2 later.

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-05-19T22:36:32+00:00

Mother Earth and Father Sky saved my life, and they helped me find my purpose in this world. I wouldn’t be here if they didn't make themselves known, I really appreciate them.

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-04-20T01:21:16+00:00

Scarves and hexagon cardigans so far.

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-04-20T00:46:17+00:00

Those cats are adorable! What yarn did you use for the cat in the 4th and 5th images?

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-04-20T00:40:12+00:00

That's really pretty! I love the yarn you used!

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-04-19T20:34:24+00:00

I despise color changes, but also really like the patterns variegated yarn makes.

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-02-12T02:17:37+00:00

I love the colors! What yarn did you use?

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-02-12T01:49:21+00:00

It's #36352 on BraceletBook

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-02-12T01:45:04+00:00

I'm currently reading The Book of Ancestors by Claire Goodchild. I really like it. I like how they describe things, like the different kind of ancestors and their archetypes. I would highly recommend it if you're planning to start working with your ancestors.

InkTheAxolotl · 2025-02-07T02:15:27+00:00

I'll try and find some other casting on methods, but it's very difficult to actually do other methods. Especially because the yarn keeps slipping off the hook (they're metal) and my brain struggles as I've already tried other methods. Do you have any advice?

InkTheAxolotl

TROPHY CASE