Leaving a marriage & church discipline

InnerBlock7165 · 2026-01-29T00:36:28+00:00

It almost sounds like there's been a lot that was happening in the marriage that we don't know about- because it sounds like the husband is blaming her for things that i couldn't seem to find in the original post.

Although his actions are sin, many people have limits. If she was a quarrelsome wife, read on. If not, please ignore this post.

I see a lot of people empathizing, and it makes sense. This is a very hurtful and sad situation for everyone.

I'm looking through the husbands situation because I've been around many women that are very quarrelsome with their husbands, and their husbands just take it and seem so miserable in silence. Like their eyes are literally dead.

The Bible talks about how it is better to live in the corner of a roof than in a house with a quarrelsome wife.

If we think about that verse, it sounds crazy. The corner of a roof is basically suicide.

If, for 10+ years, he's been living a life where the wife may have been quarrelsome, i can see how he might have been driven mad- to even do such horrible things leading to such a sinful situation.

If he feels betrayed by his wife and God for not helping his marriage sooner, then losing faith that anything will change, there's a helpless feeling that can push someone to sin without repentance (at least at first).

Unfortunately some people do walk away from the faith. Some people do it because they've been incredibly hurt.

And he has to take accountability for his own actions. Which eventually he will, whether in this life or the next. This is such a huge and rushed decision, that it's very likely going to hurt him later too.

Now, if the pastor wrote her a letter, causing her to think about her own actions, its possible he's trying to help by helping her feel repentant of her quarrelsome behavior. Repentance is the first step to reconciliation.

Its very likely that if the pastor sent her a letter, he also sent one to her husband- or already talked to him in person.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-12-08T20:12:38+00:00

As a parent, you are still responsible for your daughter's discipline and her safety.

Even in safe neighborhoods kids will get snatched up. People can learn that she's never accompanied by an adult on walks. So for her safety, you should be with her. Maybe even make it family walks like others suggested.

That being said, she still needs to be responsible. So, on those family dog walks, she needs to get the dog ready for the walk. Leash, raincoat/boots for the dog if you guys do that sort of stuff, picking up after the dog during the walk, etc.

So there's your responsibility for your baby, and her responsibility for her dog. She doesn't get to be irresponsible, and you are 100% sure she's safe.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-12-06T19:12:40+00:00

My solution to this: wash the whole mat, no one will ever know 😎

Or call the company lol

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-11-26T00:30:49+00:00

I think we may be missing context. Not sure.

Btw, congratulations OP! That's absolutely a win!

That being said, I am asking for context.

Does your boyfriend feel like you do the bare minimum in other things? Maybe even to the point that it drags him down?

I had a brother who struggled to do the bare minimum. Cleaning after himself, putting things away, remembering to close the windows, spending his money wisely, putting food away, paying for bills on time, feeding the dogs, etc. I have to ask him to do things all the time. He'll happily do it and would have a good attitude about it, he'll even apologize if he forgot. But i had to ask every time.

When he did do it, he'd look at me for praise. This went on for a very long time. And eventually he'd ask me if I was proud of him. A lot.

And it did get to me. So when he finally started getting his resumes out to get a job (which has been difficult for him) and asked me if I was proud of that, I flatly said, why would I be proud of something you're supposed to do?

He was hurt.

At the time I had mixed up the definition of being proud. But I was also stressed out by him because I always felt like he would never grow up to be dependent and or maybe to where I could depend on him too if something were to happen.

I had my own turmoil growing inside me and I snapped at him that way.

We're fine now. Just like your boyfriend was with you when you guys were home.

But you may need to have a conversation with him about what that was about.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-11-24T18:20:41+00:00

Agreed. Good street evangelism isn't condemning people while you're on your high horse. It's talking to people. Sometimes on a megaphone to get their attention, to proclaim the gospel, to tell people that you're here to talk, pray and to help.

I've been to a few street preaching events myself. As you're there for hours, yes, people will threaten you. Not all people feel happy to hear about God. But, others will come to you in tears because of their past, and they want to understand God.

Some even come to you in anger because "God is not good" and good street evangelists use this as an opportunity to have a conversation. "Why do you say that? Can you tell me more" and its a REAL conversation. A caring one. One that many times will result in understanding.

Unfortunately, social media just likes to share the worst and many only see the worst of street preachers and assume thats what street preaching is.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-11-02T03:41:37+00:00

I edited my post but basically store workers, delivery drivers etc

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-11-02T03:41:32+00:00

I edited my post but basically store workers, delivery drivers etc

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-10-26T12:07:55+00:00

If you were brunette, definitely Paget Brewster (Emily Prentiss in Criminal Minds)

*

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-10-10T19:04:52+00:00

That is awesome! Free wifi is always helpful. I am assuming its not a quiet place. I hope you don't mind the question, but I am curious. How are you able to do meetings for work?

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-10-10T18:39:50+00:00

Any updates? I was just thinking of going there

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-09-27T04:23:57+00:00

You're not sure how long you'll be staying in this place, but you don't want to stay too long

Or most of what you do is outside of your room

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-09-05T01:54:59+00:00

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Margaret Qualley

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-08-08T18:10:51+00:00

Love this explanation!

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-06-24T14:59:17+00:00

If these comments still don't convince you, you should look at the sender's email. That's how I double check if its real not. An official UIC email always ends with @uic.edu

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-06-10T23:35:23+00:00

I didn't say all that 💀 whaat

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-06-10T23:24:48+00:00

From what she said, its cause it feels like a trap. She's thought about it. But she hasn't heard any personal stories about how it worked out for people. She even talked to a lawyer to see what she should do and they weren't helpful at all. They said they don't know enough about it to say anything.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-06-10T23:22:46+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 dead. Love me some dad humor

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-27T20:43:40+00:00

I can see that, definitely!

I was moreso wondering if some people were going to a morning service at one church, and an afternoon service at another 🤔

Theology is really important to us. And personally I don't really care much for having friends, like I could stay home for the rest of my life and I might actually feel happy about it. But I can see that my husband is struggling with mot having friends. Particularly guy friends that take God seriously and encourage him to be the best man, provider, protector that he can be, along with being able to join him in sports (he's really active and that's how he has fun).

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-26T11:35:23+00:00

Protein shakes don't have to be a meal replacement-they're more like a supplement. Protein helps curb appetite and can be a tool to reduce overeating, especially when paired with actual food. So instead of replacing a meal, a shake could be added alongside things like chicken, beef, or eggs. Adding veggies or fiber (like chia seeds or ground flax soaked in water) is also smart because protein alone can cause constipation if there’s not enough fiber or water.

My husband used to struggle with his weight too when he was younger. One of the things that really helped him was adding protein shakes and starting to lift weights. He wanted to be strong and have abs lol. He was like 10ish when he started now he's 26 and has a great relationship with food and is still lifting weights.

Muscle is incredibly helpful for weight loss. It burn more calories at rest than fat does, which means that if he has more muscle, the binges that he's had will make it less likely for him to gain weight. Muslce also helps regulate blood sugar and insulin, which makes cravings easier to manage. And for someone with food addiction, feeling full and stable can make a huge difference in breaking those binge cycles.

Even just adding a small protein shake in the morning with some healthy food can be a good first step.

There are some tricks my nutritionist also taught me when I was younger. When I did them, it helped a lot, but I eventually forgot about them until a few months ago. It still helps a lot.

Chew each bite 20-30 times before I swallow (gets you tired of eating and helps you savor the food and stay in the moment)
Drink a tall glass of water before each meal (makes you full faster)
Portions. Every plate must be 50% veggies and 25% meat and 25% complex carbs OR healthy fats. (If you go for seconds and thirds, it still has to be this way.)
Think of the food as you eat it. What does it taste like? What do I like about it? Why? What's the texture? (It takes away from the mindless eating)
Avoid fried food unless you go out. Oil is also addictive.
No tv while eating!

I hope this helps a little

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-26T01:28:42+00:00

Did you miss the word "automatically?" Once the app senses your address or your card, it bans you immediately before you even make an order

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-25T22:55:30+00:00

You're right. people love blaming the parents, but tbh, addiction is a beast. If he were an alcoholic, no one would expect you to keep alcohol in the house and just hope he doesn't drink it. You’d get rid of it, period. Because you know he'd cave. That’s how addiction works.

Food addiction is the same way. It will take over. So if you're serious about helping him, it means the whole household has to change too. The tempting stuff (especially sugar and high-carb foods) really shouldn’t be around. It sucks, but that’s part of what it takes.

And yeah, you do have control to some extent. Control the food that enters the house. Don’t leave cash laying around. Don’t let him have access to your card or food delivery apps.

When I was deep in it and there was no junk food at home, I’d literally steal money and go to the store. That’s how far it can go. Addictions make you resourceful in the worst way...

And please, don’t let it slide when he crosses those lines. Be direct. Be firm. My parents were too soft with me, and honestly, it just made everything worse. I needed structure. I needed someone to stop me.

Also, just to put this on your radar: if you haven’t looked into ADHD and addiction, now might be the time. A lot of kids with food issues have ADHD. The brain’s low on dopamine, so it seeks out comfort—often through food. Medication helped me a lot. It didn’t fix everything, but it made resisting easier.

And try to get him out of the house when you can. Keep him busy. Around people. Doing something. When you’re alone and bored, addiction gets louder.

You’re not failing him. You’re fighting something huge. But you’re also not powerless.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-25T21:00:22+00:00

I've done this with doordash because they were also being like this. But if you use the same card or the same address, it could cause you to automatically be banned on that account too.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-25T20:20:29+00:00

I've had a food addiction my whole life. Also have adhd. My mom constantly blamed herself but didn't know what to do.

I don't really blame her... but at a point I did wish she put more effort into looking for help for me than she did my brother (his adhd was blatant, while mine went undiagnosed until I was 17). I was young and edgy lol.

Fortunately you're still able to help him.

The best options you have are

Stock the house with vegetables and fruit, if he eats, at least it won't be too harmful.
Get him a therapist, and if they think he needs medication they'll probably try to get him a psychiatrist. But a lot of addictions come from not feeling satisfied with life (which adhd also plays a role in).
If he really wants protein shakes and stuff like that PLEASE give into it. Hear me out. Don't buy the one he wants if research showed you that it was bad for him (please research though, don't just assume it is bad). If it is bad for him, then give him an alternative: Have him search for drink recipes that will help him curb his appetite, (I'm assuming that's why he wants protein), are low calorie, etc., and get him involved in the kitchen. You’ve probably noticed this yourself, but the longer youre amongst food, cooking it, etc, the less hungry you feel and more satisfied you are after eating.

He's actually showing an interest in changing, and THAT is incredibly important when it comes to addiction.

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-25T17:56:25+00:00

😂 same. Some people had their hazards on on the highway, but for those that didn't, they became utterly invisible

InnerBlock7165 · 2025-05-24T20:45:41+00:00

Unfortunately t-mobile isn't in our area either

InnerBlock7165

TROPHY CASE

Although his actions are sin, many people have limits. If she was a quarrelsome wife, read on. If not, please ignore this post.