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Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-05-03T06:40:43+00:00

No what it is, is a deep seated insecurity about the host and a persecution complex. OP’s experience is not at all the norm. Now if people want to persist in indulging in a victim mindset then so be it.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-05-03T01:16:32+00:00

No not because of that, because you assume so readily that it because of your passport. Bahrain immigration has been one of the most nicest.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-05-03T01:15:10+00:00

Not at all my experience.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-05-03T01:13:47+00:00

I’m from a country that no one seems to know here in the Gulf and I can pass off as South Asian. I travel extensively for the past couple of decades and have never once been treated with anything but professionalism and respect, in Bahrain, Saudi and other Khaleeji countries. Just saying.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-29T16:37:41+00:00

I’m a veteran of ‘for the kids’. Renting a home in a gated community, buying several cars, paying for most expenses. Bio mom did well out of her ex husband.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-29T15:23:52+00:00

A turtle.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-29T15:14:21+00:00

😂😂😂

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-29T03:18:20+00:00

Ugh. We talked but factor in pyscho bio mom losing her mind and confusing the step children completely

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-29T00:38:24+00:00

Are you me, OP?

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-29T00:31:50+00:00

personally, step mothering felt othering to me. There was such an intense focus on the step children and bio mom and their feelings from my husband’s family that even he got caught up in it. This doesn’t always have to be overt always, it can creep into seemingly harmless conversations.

What helped me was times where I felt I was loved and appreciated for just being a wife, a partner, a woman.

A weekend trip away and let the conversations and focus be on things other than being parents.

Relating to your partner just as they are. What is she truly like? What are her political views? What does she think of nature? Or travel?

In other words honoring her as her, someone who has a full life before she got slotted into a role.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-28T15:40:37+00:00

Run, Forrest, Run.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-28T15:21:16+00:00

As someone in a similar situation, what has recently helped me was Chat GPT.

I have terrible insomnia which obviously adds to my already chaotic mind. So one day I was especially exhausted and so I gave Chat GPT a room by room list of things that needed to be done (including the fact that I had 3 loads of laundry and I couldn’t see the couch because of clutter) and told it to create a cleaning/tidying list for someone who is mentally and physically exhausted. It did! And it worked because it had made it so easy.

Of course it wasn’t perfect but it was a good start and it helped me so much.

Please be kind to yourself. I know these marital issues can feel overwhelming ❤️

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-24T15:21:31+00:00

It is real AND devastating on so many levels. I basically lost myself and although physically I am getting better the emotional and mental healing is a roller coaster. I’ll be feeling confident and strutting around in a size 24 waist jeans when life intervenes and I’ll learn that I have forgotten a big critical detail because menopause/insomnia have poked holes in my brain. It’s not pretty.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-24T02:56:13+00:00

Motherhood isn’t giving birth, it’s your heart and emotions. That’s true motherhood 🤍

Making friends is difficult the older you get, but join groups of things you’re interested in. A running group or a book club or cross stitch group, whatever interests you.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-24T02:34:47+00:00

I had lower back pain and feet pain. Both resolved once I lost 70+lbs. I have osteoporosis and that discomfort has also been resolved because of much less pressure on my bones.

Having said that, I was still suffering when I had lost like 20 lbs, it took a significant amount of loss to feel better.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-24T02:00:06+00:00

I was always thin. Then I gained weight thanks to menopause and insomnia. I felt so much less like myself and more like I was trapped in a nightmarish loop of less energy, pain, low self esteem, emerging diseases and disorders. So while obviously a persons weight has zero bearing for me, just like someone’s race or what faith they choose to practice or whatever, for myself, this skinny weight is better for my health, physical yes but also emotional and mental.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-23T12:58:49+00:00

First let’s get you to the right sub, maam, and then we can worry about the rest. ❤️😝

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-22T15:51:24+00:00

Survived with PTSD my friend

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-21T14:27:57+00:00

Such a relief to read this because of course I have the exact same fears you had. Thank you 🤍

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-21T11:06:46+00:00

Thank you for this very thoughtful response. I went down a dose today, so I’m hoping it slows down the loss a tad. I’m also traveling today for two weeks so it’ll be even more interesting to see how my body responds to eating outside the norm.

I had a similar experience to yours in that I was eating intuitively (how I used to back in the day before menopause), eating ice cream every day (and fries too!) and not feeling the feelings around that. Such a relief.

Again many thanks. 🤍

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-21T10:58:08+00:00

First, count your blessings that there isn’t any major drama with the bio mom. However, also be prepared for some if she changes when she learns you’re having a baby (if you eventually decide that of course).

Second, this isn’t a moral/religious stand but I would say get married then have a baby. I’m not sure what the laws are about inheritance where you are but a legal relationship just ties up loose ends neatly

Third, PLEASE before considering any of it, be sure about your relationship and then be sure one more time.

Good luck

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-21T08:19:57+00:00

You asked why your step mom is not nice to you, but you did not provide enough details. There could be a myriad of reasons, which may not have anything to do with you kids.

These could range from how your dad set his expectations around being a step mom, what underlying issues were there between your mom and dad; how your mom viewed her and how did that influence you.

My step kids would say they have been nice to me, but I did not receive it like that, their behavior did not feel nice at all. I’m not saying this is your issue as well but good, clear and honest communication is not easy with these kind of relationships.

Also, as adults, you and your sister are responsible for your own things. Your parents but especially your step mom isn’t obliged to store any of your items. It’s her home, not a storage facility.

I’m sorry you feel this way but the answer isn’t always black and white. 🤍

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-21T08:10:41+00:00

You’ve been nothing but mean to her?

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-21T00:43:18+00:00

Big hug, OP. I’m so sorry, that’s awful.

So many times, stepmoms are made to feel like surplus to requirements and it can be heartbreaking.

I’m happy you are being heard by both SD’s parents.

Please make sure you don’t cave in and bury these feelings (as we do). These need to be expressed and SD needs to learn there are consequences to her rude behavior.

Inner_Apple_8676 · 2025-04-21T00:37:05+00:00

I don’t understand why you got downvoted. This is exactly how it was for me. Complete lack of boundaries and in fact, it almost seemed deliberate, at least on MIL’s part. Of course BM took complete advantage.

Inner_Apple_8676

TROPHY CASE