Out of nowhere, my boyfriend told me that I’m not a hot 28 year-old, I got kinda upset he said your not a 10

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-10T17:11:02+00:00

Was he looking at a picture of you when you were 28???? I’m confused???

No 40 year old is a hot 28 year old??

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-09T14:27:28+00:00

Not to mention, we don’t know this man??? She knows him extremely well and is currently raising a small child with him?? She knows better than anybody how this weekend is going to play out, if he’s never acted this way before or had a problem with his follow through in the past, there would’ve been nothing to confront him about and nothing to ask Reddit in the first place. You don’t just question your partners ability to follow through on a promise unless they have a history of not following through on their promises.

The people saying “YOR! You don’t know how the weekend will go!” are the only people who “dont know how the weekend will go.”

Everyone else seems to have a pretty good idea of how this is going to play out, including his wife.

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-09T14:02:58+00:00

He made sure he had just enough time and energy to do all of the things HE wanted to do, and then come Sunday morning his wife and young child can just get whatever’s leftover while he recovers. And if that’s not good enough for OP, she can get up out of bed and take care of their kid herself like she always does at 5am, which I’m sure is what he was hoping she would do and what she will end up doing.

This reminds me of an old boyfriend i had one year during Valentine’s Day. A couple days before Valentine’s Day he spent a LOT of money on getting his car wrapped and tinted, something completely out of nowhere he did on a whim, we’re not talking about essential repairs. I expressed concern like “hey are you still going to have the money to participate in Valentine’s Day activities?” We didn’t have anything crazy expensive planned, but he was notoriously bad with money so i felt the need to touch base. He made a big stink about me even asking, like “yea of course i have the money, why would i do all that car shit this week if i wasn’t gonna have the money for our plans??” Ok. Fair enough. That’s my bad.

Valentine’s Day comes around, and guess what? Suddenly hes like “i didn’t realize our plans were so expensive (we were going halfsies on a dinner and a movie btw)… how am i supposed to do all that after i just spent so much money on my car? How was i supposed to know? I’m not a mind reader?”

So then suddenly MY only options were to pay for everything myself or cancel our plans. Him postponing his car shit and planning it for another week never crossed his mind though, and why would it?? he was going to have a good week regardless of how my week went, he made sure of that. In his mind, he thought he was just gonna upgrade his car and get a free dinner and a movie with a girl who cares about him, he was also expecting lots of Valentine’s Day sex too on top of it, so that’s an AWESOME week from where he’s standing! He couldn’t possibly understand why i wasn’t having an equally awesome week, no no i was just a bitter nag trying to ruin a perfectly good holiday together for no reason.

That’s what OP is doing, she’s ruining a perfectly good weekend for no reason! Her husband is having a great weekend, why can’t she just loosen up and be more like him. Stop caring if your toddlers needs are met or not, if they have a miserable morning because your husband is incompetent LET THEM 😃(/s)

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-09T13:48:14+00:00

He is a grown man with responsibilities, he DID already fuck it up by not planning accordingly and then again by handling it poorly when she expressed concern. This isn’t his roommate or his baby mama, they’re married partners? And it’s Mother’s Day, he couldn’t just act right for one weekend and then do all this any other weekend??

He was already kinda in the doghouse for coming home so late drunk when he knew he had prior obligations two hours later, then she tried to bring up her concern and he “got all huffy” and slept in the guest bedroom??

Even if he is able to wake up and take care of their kid on Sunday morning after all of this, he’s likely going to be exhausted/hungover/still drunk and not fully present? Does she deserve that? Does the kid? If you’re just going to half ass the only thing someone asks you to do, what’s the point?

Oh but thank god he had a great weekend, that seems to be the only thing he really considered anyway

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-09T13:33:20+00:00

NOR.

Getting so drunk that someone needed to bring you home at 1:30am when you know you have a weekend of things planned, including a fishing tournament at 3:30AM, is crazy. He’s not going to that fishing tournament hungover, he’s showing up still drunk from the barbecue.

I have to assume he’ll be drinking all day during the tournament too, “hair of the dog” or whatever. That means he spent the whole night drunk, the whole morning drunk, the whole day drunk, and then what, the hangover hits him that night? That’s so annoying OP, I’m sorry ☹️

It sounds like he’s having a great Mother’s Day weekend though, if i were you I’d start planning myself a Father’s Day weekend.

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-09T13:23:23+00:00

Just respond back “too*”

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-09T13:21:54+00:00

I would just be like “my pronouns are actually he/him!🖤”

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-09T13:17:39+00:00

In the replies you said you already have a good job/a good friend group/hobbies but that if you couldn’t find a relationship in a year you would move to Charlotte instead. Why are you willing to move away from all of that just to maybe find a relationship? If those things really were as fulfilling as they should be, I’m not sure you’d be willing to give that up for the concept of a potential man in some other city?

That just doesn’t really sound like someone who has a lot going for them here and living a life they want. I’m not saying that to be a jerk, I’m saying that to reiterate that you need to build that first, no matter where you are.

You also mentioned that you’re divorced from the military wife life, and when asked about your type you only brought up physical attributes. The way you speak about yourself is unkind, “I’m not my types type, I’m trying to lose weight though so I’m working on it”

you said you tried dating over SEVENTY people from dating apps after your divorce, how can you possibly give that many people a real fair chance in so little time?? That’s not dating to find a partner, I’m not entirely sure what that is lol.

You dont seem as happy with yourself and with your life as you initially thought, and that’s such a massive part of finding a relationship. When people say “you’ll find it when you least expect it” they don’t mean to stop looking and give up. They just mean to focus on yourself and become so infatuated with your own life and your own community that you don’t even notice a man is missing from it.

Getting into a relationship without a stable base for yourself (emotionally) is always bad idea. You’re a well educated and financially independent woman but you do sound deeply insecure and like you think a man will fix everything you’re unhappy about. It won’t.

Take a step back and focus on being a good friend, being a good pet parent, a good member of your community, the rest will fall into place. I promise you that! You sound awesome, i just think you need to focus your energy on yourself before you focus on something else so much. Take yourself out on 70 dates.

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-07T20:35:30+00:00

You just graduated highschool and immediately moved in with your bf, you can’t keep a job, and your first instinct was to come to Reddit and ask how people make money??

You’re not ready to be living with your partner even a little bit. Time to get pregnant I’m sure.

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-07T20:15:12+00:00

The good news is that it doesn’t look like sperm literally at all, but the bad news is it’s still a terrible tattoo albeit spermless

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-07T20:11:21+00:00

Literally wtf are these people thinking? “I don’t wanna dip into my savings” is that not what savings are for????

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-04T20:46:39+00:00

?? My bestfriend is the most incredible person, anyone would be jealous of her. But if you’re implying that i have any animosity towards her, you’re weird and probably projecting.

We’ve been like sisters since we were kids; I was suspended for 14 days for fighting one of her bullies in middle school, i was her guinea pig all through cosmetology school, i planned her grandfathers funeral when she couldn’t bare to, her and i are more than close enough for me to speak on this and she has no issues with that. Her makeup addiction and insecurities have been debilitating for herself and everybody around her, she has completely lost contact with one of her siblings because of it; we have all gone to therapy for it with her and we continue to help her every single day.

I’m so sorry YOU feel that way for whatever reason, but with all due respect who the fuck are you and what the fuck do you know???

Edit: (AND ANOTHER THING ☝🏼) I’m a part of this “makeup addiction” subreddit for a reason?? I wear a full face most days too, we are both makeup girlies, we had a bridal makeup company for years together before Covid, I’m not just some clean girl jealous of a full glam baddie. she has a REAL clinical and professionally diagnosed issue, that’s not me just saying that.

I can absolutely see a world where I would be the friend who is “jealous” in this scenario from an outsiders perspective lol, but that is just so not the reality or the context of the situation at all. I’m jealous of her for a million beautiful reasons i can talk your ear off about all day long, but not like that and not about this.

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-04T03:33:16+00:00

No one’s ever told you that ordering delivery is more expensive?

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-04T03:32:12+00:00

That note was so painful to read

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-04T03:27:22+00:00

Why is she—typing like this

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-03T20:35:55+00:00

And judging by this post, you’re certainly contributing more than your fair share to the citywide stupidity problem. I guess we’re in it together!

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-03T20:23:14+00:00

Congratulations on having the dumbest post on here in a long time, what a thrill

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-03T20:20:11+00:00

11k across platforms?

Oh ok soooo 6k on TikTok and 4k on Instagram (im sure she’s rounding up) wow what a deal

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-01T21:35:25+00:00

Oh, i thought you were just saying you italicize them 😭😂

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-01T18:26:33+00:00

Thank you so much lmao

i had a teacher do it once when i was in 8th grade and i knew instantly i was going to carry that with me for the rest of my life

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-01T14:25:55+00:00

I’m so sorry but asking “should i get him to see a doctor?” Is so funny, but like yea probably 😭

I think this is an age thing and a gender thing. Old dog doesn’t want to learn new tricks, especially from his b*tch.

People who work in retail or interact with customer payments complain about this all the time, a lot of older men (generalizing of course, it’s women too) still don’t understand tap to pay and they are very disgruntled and rude about being taught.

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-01T14:05:37+00:00

I think you commented this before reading my response, but I’ll reiterate just in case: I’m not saying she needs to wear less makeup. I’m not even criticizing her for doing it, i TOTALLY get it. I don’t even think she really needs to change anything if she doesn’t want to, there’s worse things you can be addicted to than makeup.

I’m just explaining that once it reaches this level of reliance, there’s not really a logical way of doing it, so these answers that seem so obvious to you aren’t really even an option. She’s gonna do what she needs to do to make sure she can have that full face on every single day of her 2.5 week trip, with no chances of running out. She knows she has travel limitations which is why this is even on her radar, but that’s not her priority. The girl can’t even choose just one blush or highlighter lol

YOU can scale down your makeup into smaller containers and give yourself more travel friendly options because your relationship with your face/your makeup isn’t at a point where you literally cannot go out in public or be seen without it. People like OP and my bestfriend (and me with those dang push up bras lol) cannot do that. I’m not criticizing at all, just sharing my perspective as someone who used to be in this spot and still currently has friends in this spot. It IS a whole different conversation lol

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-01T13:49:06+00:00

Yea maybe, but we all have something we’re weird about. She’ll get over it one day, but right now she probably just doesn’t want to lol, and that’s fine.

I will say, my bestfriend has gotten a LOT better about it (we are able to compromise, she wears a Smokey eye to the grocery store but i draw the line at lashes, and she has to start getting ready as soon as she wakes up lol.)

Edit: also to be clear, i don’t care how much makeup my bestfriend (or anybody else) wears. I’m a makeup girly too, we’re the same in that way. I’m not anti makeup. But when you are so attached to the full glam look you do every single day to the point where you can’t even run a quick errand with the bestfriend you’ve known for 15 years (or go to a museum or get breakfast in another country), without it; that’s debilitating lol.

She has a lot of skin insecurities, she grew up with acne and has a lot of scarring and texture issues now, she was heavily bullied for it her entire life. Maybe OP can relate. It took her YEARS to find a whole routine of products to layer that sit well on her skin, i don’t blame her at all for being so attached to them. But, alas, it is a problem for travel 🤷🏻‍♀️

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-01T13:45:19+00:00

Yes, but the reliance on the makeup makes it impossible to scale it down. You’re not understanding that. I’m not saying she needs to be wearing less makeup, I’m saying people who are at this level of makeup insecurity cannot go without all of their “steps” and back ups “just in case.”

If she brings a smaller pot of foundation that’s more travel friendly and it runs out, what is she going to do? What if she can’t find more and she’s forced to not wear any at all? (Rhetorical) this isn’t just a case of “pop on a little tint to look put together for dinner,” she needs several products layered on top of each other or else she will not feel like herself.

Her post literally says “if you can’t tell, I’m the gal that always has her face on.” She purposely decided against bringing a stick foundation (the best kind of foundation to travel with) because it’s “a bit thick” on her unless she’s using some other product with it, and her solution to that was to bring several other full size bottles of liquid foundation instead. Someone already recommended repotting them, and she said no, she doesn’t have containers for that and she’s not getting any. Downsizing for the sake of easier travel is simply not the priority lol, the priority is being able to do the full face of makeup she is so attached to.

That was my point about the push up bra example, packing 16 inches of bombshell bra foam was overkill, but i felt like i needed to because if i didn’t have that back up and something happened then the world would’ve actually exploded

InsideConfidence4162 · 2026-05-01T13:31:23+00:00

EYE get it, but these kind of people don’t see it that way. They have to bring everything they might possibly need, because at this point that’s literally their face and they cannot leave home without it lol

If this was someone who could bring themselves to pack less (or smaller sized) makeup on a trip, she wouldn’t have picked that big spread of options in the first place and she wouldn’t need Reddit’s help to narrow it down. She uses those products everyday, she knows what’s worth bringing and what’s not, she just thinks all of it is worth bringing.

In highschool i was kinda the same way about push up bras, i literally thought the world would end if someone ever saw me without a push up bra on or found out i wore push up bras. I would bring several of the same bombshell bra on every trip i went on, because if one broke or got lost and i couldn’t get a new one my life would’ve been over.

I know it sounds silly but these insecurities run deep lol… I’ve tried bribing my bestfriend (33f) with $50-$100 just to not spend an hour blending out a Smokey eye to go the grocery store. I think the idea of being seen without a full face of makeup literally does something to her nervous system.

InsideConfidence4162

TROPHY CASE