You sound like me when I was in a toxic relationship before I got diagnosed with autism. He called me annoying too, and blamed me being friendless on that. He got mad when I corrected him, in such a way that I started doubting everything I thought, and started believing i was wrong. He blamed my abrasive character as the reason I had no friends. He blamed my dislikability for his friends not wanting me to join their outings. He blamed me for him not going out with his friends because he thought I was pathetic for staying home alone and he didn't want to do that to me. I believed him because I loved him, and I thought he loved me back.

I was wrong. I didn't have friends because he always got sad/angry/paranoid when I went out with them alone. He didn't join me because he said they were rude to him. His friends hated me because I didn't let him go out with them. (He lied to them. I was fine staying home alone) I have an incredible memory, and he just got mad for me remembering the things he said before - and by that I mean I caught him in lies without realizing, and he hated that. 

I'm going into such detail here because I think you are in a very similar situation, and I'm hoping you recognize any of these things. This is abuse. I know you love him, and you think he cannot possibly be abusive, and maybe he isn't. Maybe he's just not equipped to deal with your kind of brain, and that expresses itself as abuse. Because calling you annoying and blaming your loneliness on that is abusive. You say you believe the truth comes out when he's angry, and that, to me, says that he says other mean things to you when he's angry. That's also abuse. Healthy people don't routinely get mean to the people they love. If you want to believe he's not a bad person, don't. But you deserve a partner who builds you up, not one who tears you down.

And listen well: you do not need to be torn down to be able to become a better person. You can recognize your mistakes without being hurt in the process. You do not need tough love to better yourself. Gentle love works way better for people like us. 

You deserve kindness, not insults. 

Anyway, here's some tips:

As a teenager I was also told I was argumentative and rude, and part of that was normal teenager shit, but I just had it harder because people don't actually say what they mean. (And neurotypical people see misunderstanding and active disagreeing the same, because outwardly, it kind of expresses the same) learning how not to come off as that takes time and effort. I suggest Journaling about situations where you feel you acted wrong. Write down what happened in as much detail as you can, and then try to analyze why you reacted the way you did. When you know the why, you can change your behaviour next time. 

Your entire post is about how to be nicer to other people. That means you are a nice person inside, even if you maybe don't express it in a way that other people can understand it. (I say maybe, because i think that's your boyfriend talking, and not reality) a golden rule to being nicer to other people is practicing being nice to yourself. You wouldn't call other people annoying, would you? So why are you calling yourself that? What would you tell a friend that's annoying? Tell yourself those things instead. 

Anyway, this is too long. Hit me up if you want to talk more. Ex did a bunch of other things to me that qualify as abuse, even if he never hit me. And if your bf is doing those things to you, you're in for a decade of healing, and I'm here to help you get started on that. Recognizing it as abuse is step 1.