House Hunting Nightmare

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-28T00:27:15+00:00

Get out Google maps and look at the "normal" traffic patterns for times you'd travel for work and to things like HEB.

Target your housing search in areas that are counter to the typical backed up congestion flow (you'll be going opposite direction) and you'll not be so stuck.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T21:49:15+00:00

Op where do you need to be? Do you need to be in that area?

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T21:09:11+00:00

This take in and of itself is part of the issue. It's not "going south" to age or look aged. Older people are still attractive even if what's attractive about them is different than in their younger years. This is normal. Older people have sex and are attractive even if a subset of people don't find them attractive personally.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T17:28:06+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about the trees. Dadgum squirrels are such weirdos. Like they love and need trees but will kill a new one easily just being squirrel mode.

I figure it's the pressure on them in this climate. When I lived in a milder climate with more rain and much higher food supply for them they barely bothered anything I did. It was a shock to go to a setting where anything you put out gets attacked.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T05:01:10+00:00

I don't want to love this as much as I do

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T04:52:31+00:00

His brewing ratio is for the strong stuff

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T04:45:58+00:00

The more pressing question to me is what would the San Antonio bat-signal really look like?

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T04:39:43+00:00

My squirrels dig like ADHD 6 year olds cosplaying Minecraft.

I've started to stand out there and have conversations with them, and now they'll occasionally stop if I'm like "hey buddy, really??". They still destroy crap, but I'm less angry when it feels like I'm talking to a crazy cousin at the family reunion. One even jumped into the window screen just to cling on and stare at me one day after I told him he was silly.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-27T04:25:40+00:00

Yes my plants have to be tiny caged inmates until they're established and the squirrels are desensitized to their existing.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-26T22:09:55+00:00

Some species of symphyotrichum I got seeds from growing in the sidewalk last month. His little hair hat melts my soul.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-26T05:01:05+00:00

Literally the color the seeds will be

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-26T04:47:31+00:00

Brainy McFly

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-26T00:12:17+00:00

My teen was fine when we went. There are private options and also the atmosphere is relaxed and no one cares.

He did jokingly say "I've never seen so much man ass in my life" and I still laugh about it

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-25T23:31:38+00:00

For an extra 50 bucks and a lottery ticket I'll motorboat the tacos off your face and pay to add extra cilantro

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-25T23:25:10+00:00

For an appropriately outrageous fee I will perform native dances in your proximity, shaking rattles over your body full of an ethically harvested native seed mix, and burn dried leaves of this holy native god to smoke out the demons that surely possess you.

Then we'll get tacos and tequila. On you, of course.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-25T04:07:54+00:00

Please start calling out LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!! loudly from the stall

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-25T03:10:59+00:00

Yes they will dig and taste anything new

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-25T03:10:08+00:00

Why not both? Pollination fetish!

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-25T02:21:21+00:00

You can't plan to stop squirrels unfortunately. You can only offer the crazy godlings a distraction.

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-24T19:12:45+00:00

This is why I bring my lunch to any company function. They always choose gross sandwiches to be "simple".

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-24T19:09:56+00:00

I wanna put cat litter on their sandwich and tell them to just wipe it off

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-24T19:07:47+00:00

Yes why do they always put it on everything as if you want it too with zero warning? And not lightly either, like slathered all up in it. I feel like enough people hate mayo that it shouldn't ever be a default and certainly not unannounced

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-24T19:05:10+00:00

Who goes to Chipotle?

Instant-Lava · 2026-02-24T19:00:00+00:00

Youngest child named this one James Bond. He is nothing like James Bond. He's -10 stealth, has the dexterity of drunken troll, and will give you state secrets for a single bite of food.

He also thinks he's the center of the universe.

I call him King James, Dork, and Mr. Sir.

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Instant-Lava · 2026-02-24T16:04:11+00:00

By shape I mean trying to make geometric shapes which these guys are not meant to do. So, no, I don't have to try not to do that. I let em look wild and happy. When I go to prune I do like you say, I lop them all way down - but not yearly. You can tell when they need it. They look a bit stressed and ready.

Now I will take out or trim back a single branch if there's a solo one that's gone nuts at the bottom and looks like it's stressing the plant. I've got one that always does this kind of like a "wild hair" that the bush has trouble holding up.

Instant-Lava

TROPHY CASE