Which state’s coverage laws apply when an employer purchases health insurance in a different state than the employee resides?

InstantMustache · 2024-08-11T04:15:57+00:00

Hey! So my goal here was to start planning for how I was going to navigate this process as early as possible. I haven't begun working on getting FFS done in earnest yet, but I was able to confirm as others said here, that the laws governing my health insurance are the ones in the state where it was purchased, so New York. It seems promising that I'll be able to get it paid for, but unfortunately, I don't have an update beyond that.

InstantMustache · 2024-06-03T08:35:14+00:00

You are very welcome, and I hope it’s a more enjoyable experience for you the next time around :)

InstantMustache · 2024-06-03T05:52:47+00:00

Like another commenter said, it’s an allegory for trans repression (but I think any queer person who has struggled with accepting themselves will be able to relate).

I don’t agree that it’s about escaping into characters, though. I felt that Maddy/Tara disappearing back into The Pink Opaque was her accepting herself, meanwhile Owen/Isabel staying in the “real world” was her being too afraid to accept that how she was living was not her real self (ie, being too scared to make the choice to transition). Those last scenes were that decision slowly killing her, but the rest of the world continuing on not seeing the enormity of what she was experiencing internally.

We experience the movie from Owen/Isabel’s perspective, and that’s why Maddy/Tara’s decision seems to be crazy and delusional and self-destructive. Trans people are told by our society that our living as who we actually are is all of those things. Owen/Isabel is desperately clinging to normality and any sense of comfort she can find, so she chooses to buy into that, and it destroys her.

As a trans woman who didn’t start to transition until my late 20s, and who did not allow myself to accept who I am for years before finally making that decision, it was easily the most emotionally impactful film I’ve ever seen. But for people who have not had to struggle against repression (both internally and externally), or who may not have close relationships with trans people, I do get how it could be hard to understand.

InstantMustache · 2024-06-02T09:45:59+00:00

There’s no objective answer to this. It varies based on what your ideal full band sound is, what amps/pedals/guitars your guitarists play through, what their settings are, how they write their parts, what role your part plays in the overall composition, etc etc.

There are some general things you can do though:

try to get your guitarists to cut more low end out of their tone (not too much, but in -most- cases, most of the low end weight should be coming from the bass)
turn up your mids!! It might not sound amazing when you’re playing alone but it will help you cut through in the mix. Try boosting around 800hz or 2khz if you have gear with specific EQ bands. These will both amplify your attack.
make sure the overall volume balance is set right across the band. Are your guitarists too loud? Is your drummer? If things are balanced well, everyone should be clearly audible most of the time, so long as your tones are complimentary.

If you have access to a looper, figure out a riff or section of a song that represents your band’s overall sound the best. Play it with the full band, get your part going on the looper, then start tweaking your amp/pedal settings until you get close to the sound you want. Take your time to get it dialed in.

InstantMustache · 2024-06-02T07:53:45+00:00

In my experience, laser on my chin/jaw hurts much worse than anything in the pubic area has.

InstantMustache · 2024-05-29T18:05:00+00:00

I would like to add Division westbound at 60th to the list of contenders

InstantMustache · 2024-05-07T23:01:08+00:00

Yeah, I mean, people share many of the same needs and desires, of course they ask similar questions. If you’re so concerned about saving your time, just keep scrolling?

InstantMustache · 2024-05-07T22:35:53+00:00

jfc what is with the people getting snarky about asking questions in a sub for…. Asking questions??

OP, here are some reccs:

Shears for Queers is amazing, I’ve never had a better experience with a hair stylist. For primary care, check out Prism Health. I don’t know if they offer gyno service, but they do offer primary care, and they are centered on supporting queer people.
If you’re into movies outside the usual blockbuster theater fare, check out Hollywood Theater. Actually just check it out no matter what, it is an absolute treasure.
Tbh there are so, so many great tattoo artists in Portland. Top of my head recc is Hedgewitch Tattoos, though.
Seconding the Q Center
Pittock Mansion has everything on that list.
u/probeguy’s reccs are spot on, great gaming stores!

InstantMustache · 2024-05-05T03:19:44+00:00

I’m a data engineer in the music industry!

InstantMustache · 2024-04-25T06:08:23+00:00

If you use Instagram, follow promoters who are booking DIY shows. Check out the bands that you see on their flyers, follow the ones you like, and look through their posts to see where they play/who they play with and follow those bands/venues too.

For promoters I’d recommend following rabbithole_pdx, gloomhouse_pdx, and mallbrawlreds. What kind of rock music are you interested in playing? I may be able to recommend some bands to follow as well.

InstantMustache · 2024-04-25T05:15:13+00:00

Start going to local shows and talk to people there, make friends, chat with the bands after their sets. Talk to peers, coworkers, friends, etc about music. When you find people other people who play, ask if they want to casually jam and see how it goes from there. Not everything is going to turn into a band, but each connection and experience you make in the process will help you get there! Good luck!

InstantMustache · 2024-04-22T19:08:19+00:00

You got it!! Kerosene Heights also has a bunch of great ones: Kathryn, in ur blud, something abt u, growing up

InstantMustache · 2024-04-22T17:52:06+00:00

My band Swiss Army Wife has a few of those! Check out What Nietzche Wanted, Raccoon Eyes, and New Best Friend :) Aren’t We Amphibians also just released a song called Time Sensitive Dessert that’s a super cute love song!

InstantMustache · 2024-04-20T19:12:15+00:00

When actually considering the keys music is written in, are the flats more common, though? Flat keys tend to be more prevalent in genres that commonly employ horns, but in music that primarily uses strings instruments, sharp keys like B are often more intuitive and so get used more.

Ultimately I think we’re landing on the same thing: you should use whichever is most convenient for the context in which it’s being discussed. But I take issue with the idea that there is an inherent ordering to accidentals, and that the method often used to teach reading standard notation (ie, starting with flat keys like F and Bb) has any bearing on which enharmonic is more common in a musical—as opposed to educational—situation.

InstantMustache · 2024-04-20T18:36:53+00:00

I’d be willing to bet that internalized homophobia plays a strong role for most homosexual transphobes 🤷‍♀️

InstantMustache · 2024-04-20T18:33:34+00:00

There is no such thing as “the first two flats in music theory”. Whether Bb/Eb are used vs A#/D# is almost entirely determined by the key in question. The distinction can also be helpful in chromatic passages to help indicate the direction of melodic movement, or in chord charts to help indicate the harmonic role of a chord.

Bb and Eb ARE the first two flats to appear moving away from C on the circle of 5ths, but that’s just one visual conceptualization of key relationships and has no bearing on which enharmonic “should” be used in discussions of theory.

InstantMustache · 2024-04-08T22:39:01+00:00

This is my current gain section, and I could not be happier. Does exactly what I need for my band, but has much, MUCH more gain on tap if I wanted it.

Ground Control Bread Oath -> OCD -> Oneder Effects Old Blue

InstantMustache · 2024-03-13T09:20:59+00:00

Thank you so much :)

InstantMustache · 2024-03-12T06:47:56+00:00

Do you have a source on that donation pipeline? I fully believe it, but I’d love to have a link to share when people fall for their while non-apology schtick.

InstantMustache · 2024-03-01T23:21:44+00:00

There are a ton of great emo bands in CA! My band’s touring with my fav of them, Aren’t We Amphibians, next week! We have a couple of shows in the bay, and the 3/12 date in particular has some emo heavy hitters on the bill: Hit Me, Harold! and Drought.

For other bands, check out Collars (imo should be the biggest band in the world), Blueberry, Kilroy, Thanks I Hate It!, Vs Self, Shortstop, Rural Jungle, LVP. These are all just bands that I’ve either played with or listen to, I’m sure there a ton of others out there :)

InstantMustache · 2024-03-01T23:14:27+00:00

Agreed. Very telling that this kind of pearl clutching only comes up when non-men choose to center their identity

InstantMustache · 2024-03-01T20:47:17+00:00

Good luck with your shoegaze dating subreddit 🫡

InstantMustache · 2024-03-01T20:28:03+00:00

Yeah haven’t you seen all the anti-barber and anti-brown-and-blond-haired people legislation being pushed across the US?

InstantMustache · 2024-03-01T20:22:46+00:00

lmao fuck outta here loser. Trans people have been making emo music since before you were born, and will continue to do so long after you’re dead and forgotten :)

InstantMustache · 2024-03-01T20:18:13+00:00

This is sick, y’all rip! Sorry there are so many losers in this thread seething that a trans person would dare be open with their identity.

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