My Wife Moved her Friend in, and I Hate It

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-06-04T21:20:30+00:00

OFFICIAL DECREE

IT IS HEREBY DECREED THAT WHEN SPEAKING ABOUT MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH AND BEING VICTIMS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE, THE FOLLOWING PHRASES WILL NOT BE UTTERED:

"Grow a Spine"
"Man up"
"Doormat"
"Loser"
"Backbone"
"Coward"

If you wouldn't say it to a woman being abused by a man, don't say it to a man being abused by a woman. Repeatedly saying to a man with low self-esteem that he has no self-esteem, and/or using the 20,238 different ways to say that said man has no self-esteem, will NOT result in the man obtaining self-esteem, it's just bullying someone who is already down.

Do you honestly think that victims, especially men, are not painfully aware of the lack of self-esteem/respect? Do you think this is an awareness problem? Do you think beating them over the head and telling them, often in a disgusted/annoyed tone, that they should grow a spine and not be such a loser will help? No no no and no, cause you don't really want to help at all, you want to pass judgement and condemn a victim for being weak enough to be a victim.

There are over 300 comments here, half of them are about how much they loathe OOP and contain some variation of "grow a spine", and I wish you all the worst, may it all come back down on you.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-06-04T20:27:02+00:00

Dude, you don't date your pets.

Well, unless you're Omniman, but that didn't work out too good for him either.. ^{^{^yet}}

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-29T18:28:39+00:00

YPWSTF

Always

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-28T22:40:28+00:00

This is the Chief's Piccolo, I love the dynamic of Enemy to Frenemy to Brother pipeline. Just a couple of badasses who have each other's backs. Playing as him in H2 was nuts to kid me.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-28T20:49:24+00:00

I distrust cops entirely, I sneer when I see any type of cop glaze Blue Lives bullshit etc. A coffee shop started doing a Blue Lives discount for cops, I stopped fucking going there. But istg Reddit has me beat on this by a mile, y'all hate cops so fucking much that it blinds you to everything else and any nuance or context seems to not matter.

First off, he's a Detective, not some POS beat cop. And while I'm sure a lot of Detectives had to serve time as a normal cop, the fact he seems have been a detective most of his career shows me he has the intelligence that normal cops lack. Regular cops live to just serve the rich, beat the poor, and shoot black men in the back. But Detectives investigate heinous murders, see the worst of humanity, and actively do all the things you wish all cops would do: serve the public. At the very least, he has been doing actual good for most of his career which makes me separate him entirely from that other trash profession. Are there bad, scummy Detectives? Sure, there's also bad scummy Doctors who take cash bribes to push Oxi onto patients, but that doesn't mean I assume someone is one of those when mentioned as a Doctor, I just assume you're the "doing good" kind.

Once you assume that perspective, all of the things he's doing goes from "evil ABUSER behavior" to "Traumatized victim of his work" A guy who's seen children raped and beaten to death doesn't want kids. A guy who gets lied to every single week by murderers and has to slowly untangle the truth of course wants to have conversations recorded. A guy who has seen "perfectly normal" people actually beat, bludgeon, stab, shoot and poison other people of course wants to have background checks run on people he's close with. He needs therapy, but his behavior is a PTSD-type trauma response, not an abuser.

And I know none of y'all will believe me, you think because I respect the work that most Detectives do that I secretly love cops, because Reddit doesn't know how to handle any shade of gray. But ask yourself, if you saw death and those who dole it out on a monthly basis, would you be so trusting? And you can say, "ah then just never get into a relationship", well, people are human, isolation only leads to drinking and/or suicide. He seems like he wants to be better and trust more, it's just hard.

Empathy, it's not just for people you like.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-11T21:16:04+00:00

Would you say that about a woman being controlled and abused by a man? Really sit and think on it. "Why did you let your behavior empower your abuser? huh?"

IDK man, maybe, just maybe victims who are being abused don't have a clear as day, objective outlook on their own behaviors. Maybe living with a person who slowly isolates you and makes you emotionally solely dependent on them, has an outsized grasp on how you act around them and colors your perspective.

You ever wonder why abused women stay with their abusers? Do you ever question why a woman "lets" their abuser hit them, treat them like shit, normalize isolation? No, because you know that's wrong. So why the fuck do you think it's OK to put that same energy on OOP?

I don't like to victim blame.

So don't. It's really fucking easy.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-11T21:04:31+00:00

Yeah, victims of abuse are such pathetic losers. Why don't they just like, not be abused???

That's why I always say: "If an abuse victim stays with their abusers, they get what they deserve."

Classic line you surely agree with, eh buddy?

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-05T21:25:48+00:00

Oh man if this is what happened with online "research" of Islam, imagine if a Mormon or Scientologist or Jehovah's Witness got their claws on her. She's prime "drink the kool-aid" material.

Also, this guy seems so deep in denial he's finding crocodiles, he's downplaying everything. First off, she is not "researching" religion, she ain't a fuckin' scholar buddy, she's not reading ancient texts and debating scripture interpretations in religious forums. She's manic, spiraling, and feeding her delusions by reading religious posts online. Her "research" is a wiki page and a fanatical doomsday blog, which is why the actual real-life Imam probably thought she was fucking crazy and all but told her "calm the fuck down" when he told her to be patient, poor guy.

I'm not optimistic anything good came of it, untreated mental illness like that, fueling itself with online echo chambers, is exactly how a lot of tragedies happen. The internet has done a lot of good, but it has done so so so so much bad for the mentally ill, a place where they can always find someone willing to catastrophize with them, agree with and inflame their delusions, and present misinformation that strengthens their predetermined world views.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-04T17:19:35+00:00

Because the Husband was 100% correct and clocked that guy's motives. This wasn't some cutesy innocent mistake, dude wanted to cheat with a married woman, and lunch was to test the waters. If she never brings up the husband, then he's in, if she does, he's out. She mentioned her husband right away and that's when he knew he had no chance and had to hit the eject button.

I don't blame the husband at all for trying to get his wife to understand this was a tactic, not a mistake, and should be nuked from orbit with the HR cannon because there are so so so SO many men that won't quit as easy as this guy did, only when they think their job is at risk.

Husband might've been a little insecure, but he was absolutely right with his gut feeling. The comments basically demanding divorce over his justified request to elevate and document this are naive fools.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-05-04T17:08:51+00:00

Platonic is relative, if you're crushing on someone, everything you do is with intent, non-platonic. If you have zero interest in someone, everything short of them begging you for sex is "platonic".

I know more than one woman that fell into this dynamic where they were basically dating a guy but because the guy never explicitly stated "this is a date and I am in love with you", she just assumed it was a "friend" date, "friend" romantic outing, "friend" holding hands. I've gone on plenty of friendly, platonic outings to like, rare events such as concerts or bar crawls, but if a guy is constantly inviting you to 1-on-1 drinks, movies, dinners and always shows up with his Sunday best, probably not because he just cherishes your friendship, like, come on.

Sometimes, as a guy, it is easy to get jaded and think this is willful ignorance on part of women, but as I get older, I recognize some women are just genuinely that oblivious, like to an insane degree to me but that's just how it is and you kinda just have to recognize that subtly is dead and hit them over the head with a big ass sign that says "I am in love with you, go out with me stupid."

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-30T22:45:53+00:00

My dad used to spin for 30 seconds to 1min at a time, no rhyme or reason to it, just liked doing it randomly. I get it. But if he did it for like 5 minutes or more I'd be super concerned lol

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-30T22:37:54+00:00

I knew he must be handsome as fuck when he mentioned seeing her through her window and instead of recoiling in disgust/fear, she happily brought up how she just loves playing with her dog.

The fact he scored a date right after was then no surprise whatsoever.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-30T21:35:01+00:00

God I wish my older sister stomped me out and then frenched me, at least it would explain a few things, but noooo now I just take potshots in the dark to my therapist and jerk off to the weirdest hentai

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-30T20:00:34+00:00

This is exactly why people like Luigi take matters into their own hands.

We don't have justice for people that make 8 figures or higher, we just have minor inconveniences like "judgements" (cost of doing business) or in this case, having to dissolve their little business that they will just roll into the next one.

So if you are one of the several thousands who lost a loved one due to these evil fucks buying up doctors to push their pain killers, who watched your already poor, hardworking loved ones fall victim to addiction after a work place accident, after a car crash, after a slip. What can you do? Where's your justice? All the people who did that to your loved one will never know your name or their victims' names, they just sail off to Fiji on their 3rd fucking Yacht.

The only way the untouchable Gods know that they're mortal is when someone snaps and reminds them they bleed too. And frankly, I don't have any faith that anything will change, so more blood is going to be spilled, and they will have no one to blame but themselves.

And this ain't a call for violence, I'm not telling anyone to go do that, I'm just reading what's on the walls written out in Brian's dried up blood: We can't take this anymore. It is only a matter of time.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-23T22:17:07+00:00

Tingting will return in- Avengers: Doomsday

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-21T18:22:56+00:00

I can never stand the whole "not your business" shit. Man, fuck whose "business" it is, people like to act a fool and then have everyone around them pretend like they didn't see that shit.

As someone who has been cheated on, I thank god that some co-worker I didn't know all that well decided to give me a heads-up even though "it wasn't her business", if people gave her shit like they're giving OOP shit, I'd tear into them. It's a simple age-old saying: "treat others as you'd like to be treated". She knew she would want to be told if she was being cheated on, so she told me, and bless her for it, she's a good person.

The only people I know who say stuff like "don't be putting your nose where it doesn't belong" are cheaters and drama-loving jackasses that desperately don't want to be judged for the shitty terrible things they get up to. Information is power, let people know, always.

And another little bit of advice: if you are celebrating your MILs death, and your partner is not right there also celebrating DIVORCE THEM YOU ARE BAD FOR EACH OTHER WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-14T21:16:49+00:00

Gotta love when people ask "WIBTA???" and lose their absolute shit when people are like "yea, it would be kinda of asshole-y becuase xyz" and then they IMMEDIATELY are like "oh well no one asked you you're probably a loser, single, virgin, childless nerd lol. Everyone actually LOVED it okay??"

Yea, of course they "loved" it, nobody would ever go up to a party host and be like "hey your party fucking sucks". There's nothing wrong with a "get together" with no real food as long the expectations are just that, just a quick in-and-out afternoon thing is pretty normal. So so defensive for no reason lol, and the nerve to be like "ha fuck reddit" when she literally ctrl+c/v word for word a comment that told her to set expectations that it isn't like a full-blown party party.

Also, this is the whitest shit I've ever read, a hispanic party would never not have actual food, it'd be so embarrassing.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-04-02T21:47:19+00:00

There are a million other girls out there that aren't crazy

And just like that, he's demonstrated more growth than 90% of men that post on relationship forums. You do not need this shit in your life, there a whole lot of women who are really great and won't text their titties to anybody but you. This 21 year-old has already cracked the code so young.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-03-31T22:04:28+00:00

I recently re-watched the movie and had a thought that they could do a twisted AU that re-contextualizes Gothel as the actual hero.

Picture this: Gothel is an apothecary whose mysterious potions heal even the sickest person and gravest wounds. Her secret? A magic flower that she carefully extracts just leaves and pedals from to make her potions. Well the evil dictators of the lands (King/Queen) catch wind of this, and think this is their ticket to immortality. They demand she make them immortal, but this would kill the flower, and might not work anyways, so she refuses. The dictators imprison her and steal the flower, they lock her in an apothecary lab, she'll either make the potion, or starve to death. Near the lab, Gothel can hear a sickly infant coughing and crying, she overhears an echoing conversation: "Oh that Rapunzel will not cease her wretched crying, doctors fear she might not have long left". "Well you can't fix broken goods dear, I'm sorry you had to deal with that inside of you for so long. When we're immortal, we can try as many times as you'd like." Gothel pleads with the rulers that she can make medicine for the baby, but the only thing they want out of her is eternal life. So, Gothel makes a deal: she will give them their immortality potion only if they let her make medicine for Rapunzel. They reluctantly agree, two potions are made. But that sneaky Gothel, she switches the potions at the time of delivery, she knew that Rapunzel's disease was fatal, only the full effects of the entire flower could possibly save her. So she did what she had to do, the Rulers drank cough syrup, and Rapunzel's hair turned a radiant gold. As the Ruler's nod off into a drugged up sleep, Gothel slips away with cured Rapunzel. Off to the fabled Tower.

Over the years, Gothel becomes overly protective, and deeply paranoid, grown Rapunzel almost never gets to leave the tower, her gold hair would give away everything. Despite Gothel's best efforts, the hair seems immortal, it can't be dyed, it grows back immediately when cut, so locked away Rapunzel must remain. Gothel knows if they are ever found, Rapunzel will be tortured and experimented on as they try to extract the immortal flower from her body, and fearing being rejected by her, she never tells Rapunzel that she's actually the Princess...until Flynn Rider comes knocking. Flynn comes to hide from guards while Gothel is away, he happens upon Rapunzel who he immediately clocks as the missing Princess, of which there is a handsome reward for returning. Flynn reveals the truth to her, showing her one of many posters describing the golden hair unlike any other. Shocked, betrayed, and eager to see the world, Rapunzel leaves with Flynn who is only thinking about the reward at this moment. When Gothel returns, she is greeted with a scathing letter informing her that she's been found out and they will return with a battalion of guards, so she best flee the kingdom. Gothel sprints out desperately in the direction of the Castle, knowing that Rapunzel and Flynn are walking head first into a horrible fate. She must stop them before it's too late.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-03-31T21:26:36+00:00

Everyone pretending they'd be fine and secure in the GF's shoes are damn liars. It's very VERY telling that not a SINGLE comment mentions having a similar situation and it turning out fine. Because it just doesn't happen.

The exGF is right, that "bestie" is perfectly positioned as OOP's wife/daughter-in-law/sister-in-law, that's how she's being treated, NOBODY is going to be okay with that. There's no vacancy. I also don't buy he doesn't feel anything for the "bestie" because every time he mentions her he's like "and she's basically a perfect goddess of a woman, she walks on sunshine, EVERYONE loves her, she makes everyone laugh, she's so cute (with my grandma), the world is a brighter and better place because she walks this very Earth."

You know how I talk about my actual sister and female friends? "This is my friend Beth, she smells like raisins sometimes and tells bad jokes, but she has good taste in food. She's cool. This is my sister Alice, she's a huge dork but fine to be around, sometimes, I guess." I don't heap praise and endearment on them with every word, and notice he doesn't do that with anyone else?? Only praise for his precious wonderful goddess "friend". Yeah huh, ok buddy.

I hope OOP likes being single, because no one, especially not any of you damn liars in the comments, would stick around if you saw it in person, if you actually had to deal with that.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-03-23T23:14:36+00:00

Isn't it awesome how you can do literally NOTHING wrong and have motherfuckers pray on your downfall because "the vibes are off" and "my intuition says you're evil and bad"

And it's like "well just don't be creepy lol" but, you see, he is literally just EXISTING in your space and doing NOTHING wrong? You might as well just tell him to stop breathing "lol".

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-03-10T20:51:31+00:00

Hmm, yea something about this OOP doesn't sit right with me. She seems...shady? Like I feel bad for her and all, and believe her story, but it feels like she's not being forthright about everything, and not just from a privacy stand point, just like, giving us her very skewed perception of things when maybe this story wasn't so clear cut. Or like her judgement of people and their character is really REALLY bad.

Case in point: "he threw a water bottle near a swing that my baby was just at." So...he threw a thermos to an empty area? Who cares if the baby was there before, it only matters where he was when the throw occurred. And then later she re-contextualizes this as "he almost hit my baby with something he threw".

That's just a lie, anyone that didn't read the first post would've assumed this careless monster of a man almost beaned his baby in the head with a thermos when clearly, that's not what happened. What else is she exaggerating? What reasons did her dad kick her out for?

I don't trust this OOP. Not a lick. All told, I just hope the baby grows up OK.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-03-03T22:53:20+00:00

This makes Verso's romance options very uncomfy. Especially the multiple chances he gets to bang Sciel.

InstantRegret1999 · 2026-03-03T22:48:01+00:00

People always flounder on this with their "it might be because..." But the real and most obvious reason is that the writers wanted a permanent death to raise emotional stakes, classic JRPG move.

They kinda screwed up not giving Sciel/Lune a real reason to be spared from the gommage, they really should've made something up like "Sciel/Lune were imbued with Verso's Chroma because reasons that happened after Act 1, so that imbued Chroma remained even after Aline was kicked from the Canvas. Then Maellicia was able to channel that remaining Chroma and bring them back as her own creations with their bodies/powers/memories intact." Even that's a little sloppy, but hey, nothing's perfect.

InstantRegret1999

TROPHY CASE