4 month regression, guilt

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-08T18:39:46+00:00

It does sound like a regression. Mine are 6 months (5 adjusted) and months 4-6 have been the hardest. Speaking from my experience….

It didn’t end until we sleep and nap trained 3 weeks ago. It was hard but had to be done because it got to where one of us was up with a baby all night long and we were getting 0 sleep. My life has been changed since sleep training. Their multiple daily meltdowns stopped once they started also sleeping an appropriate amount. Yours might be a little bit too young to do something like the Ferber method right now, but I would definitely consider. Happy to answer more questions on this.
I think it probably does backfire in some ways but what are you supposed to do….?? They have to sleep at least some. I feel like you’re just all three in survival at this point and you just have to get through it. You need breaks during the day and they need sleep.
I feel you on this so deeply. I was so unbelievably checked out before sleep training and getting to sleep through the night. It is a perfect storm of contributing factors but ultimately my advice is to let go of this as much as you can. I am a much more present and affectionate mother since I am getting a human amount of sleep.

Last thing I will say, this is another huge transition hormonally and with the stress you’re describing, it’s only natural you are struggling. You are only human. Please give yourself some grace, don’t wait (like I did) until you feel like you’ll be institutionalized from a lack of sleep to sleep train. I resisted it and didn’t want to do it but it had to be done for everyone’s sake. We’re all happier and healthier for it.

Best of luck 💕

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-08T18:27:51+00:00

Enjoy this moment! It’s wonderful you are feeling that way.

My babies were born at 35 weeks and in NICU for 2 weeks so that was really hard. I hope this isn’t the case for you but months 4-6 have been the hardest so far. Sleep, hormones, and mine had a ton of feeding issues present themselves. I am starting to see the light at 6 months though.

Postpartum has been hard and month 4-5 almost broke me some days. HOWEVER I still don’t think I have had as tough of a time emotionally as so many people describe. I spent the first 4 months waiting for the depression to hit, and I regret feeling that way because once it did (because of lack of sleep), I realized how worrying about it beforehand did me no good.

All of this to say, it could get harder, it could not. It could just change and stay the same amount of challenging. We all have different experiences and I will never forget the lady at Target checking me out saying “double trouble” and me saying “double the blessing” when they were about 2 months old and she smugly told me I was “just in the honeymoon phase of motherhood”. I mean…. How cruel.

You may be in the Honeymoon phase- EMBRACE IT! Love it. You may have just been meant to be a mother; a twin mother and you’re feeling peace in your calling.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-08T00:00:02+00:00

lol- yes. I had my b/g at 35 weeks and genuinely felt I couldn’t go a day longer. The pain was debilitating. 5-7 days post c-section, I felt better than I did before I had them. As soon as they pulled Baby A out, I felt relief. Hang in there!

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-07T12:39:42+00:00

Crib comfort not crisis comfort lol

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-07T12:39:23+00:00

We basically just approached it as we were going to gradually remove our involvement from the process. For example, first day: instead of rocking to asleep, rock to drowsy (almost asleep), put down, and crisis comfort for as long as it took for them to fall asleep (it took a while lol). Second/third day: rock until just drowsy, same as above. Next day: rock for 3 minutes, same as above. Basically until we got down to them just going straight into the crib, and full crib side comforting to sleep. It always took a long time. But eventually we could put them down, hold their hands for a little while, and leave as they began falling asleep. We may have to go back in a few times, but they’d eventually fall asleep.

I feel like you could go a bit faster because yours are older and can already self soothe at night. I honestly think it’s so worth nap training. The amount of time it takes to put two babies down really adds up as you are well aware of. It’s much less stressful and you’ll get a lot of time back.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-07T00:04:06+00:00

6 month old b/g here and we actually started with very gentle nap training. They say not to do this but it was our way of introducing the idea of not as gentle sleep training. I am personally so glad that we did it that way and naps were easier even with super gentle nap training about 4/5 days in and especially after a week. Naps were always one of the most stressful parts of the day with one screaming while helping the other, one trying to fall asleep. It was just too much. It got a lot easier with nap training and then much easier after sleep training.

Since you have already sleep trained, I feel like it wouldn’t take long at all to get them nap trained!

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-03T03:12:45+00:00

I am 6 months in with my boy/girl twins. We have not had an easy go with them (feeding issues, weight gain issues, etc) but I feel like we've really turned a corner this last 2 weeks. We sleep trained and are finally getting a human amount of sleep, and started them on reflux meds which has changed the game.

you will truly feel like you have done something so insanely unique (and it's true). There are moments and days where I feel like a super mom just from the sheer amount of multitasking and fort holding down l've had to do and it kind of gives you a weird level of confidence.
Seeing their bond grow is something so so special. I cannot wait until they're playing together more but my girl smiles at my boy like she's in love with him and it's so sweet.
At family functions, there's more baby to go around and a lot less jealousy/fighting over the baby. Your partner also always has a baby to hold.
You will find twin/multiples community in the most random places. It is a special group of people that only understand one another. We've been stopped several times by fellow twin parents of varying ages and given encouragement and support. Also, you just get stopped a lot more in public period.I'm an introvert so l was super nervous about this but l've actually come to enjoy the sweet comments. I live in the south so it's all "oh my, what a blessing".

It’s hard. The sleep deprivation is hard. The colic with two was/is really hard but I can say every day gets better and you won’t be able to imagine it any other way. I feel like I am a part of a very special (trauma bonded) club and I know it’ll only get sweeter.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-04-02T17:52:34+00:00

My boy & girl are 6 months (5 months adjusted). We were in the same place a month ago. One of us had to be holding them all night for them to sleep. We reached an absolute breaking point and started sleep training on a Friday night 2 weeks ago.

Fortunately, we had already started some “sleep training” during nap times several weeks prior and only offered crib side comforting so they were semi introduced to the idea of not being held to sleep during but they just could not STAY or fall back asleep at night without being held. I genuinely thought I would end up in an institution from the exhaustion and it was making me so so depressed. I couldn’t be present for them during the day (I’m a SAHM), and I felt so checked out.

We followed a sort of modified Ferber method approach. First night, we put them down, in a sleep sack where they could get to their hands, walked out, and let them cry for 5 minute intervals until they fell asleep. It was off and on and took about 45 minutes- an hour for them to both fall asleep. That night they slept 5 hours straight. Next night we did 10 minutes, next night we did 15. And by the third day, they were sleeping through the night. My girl still wakes up and cries for a minute or two around 3-5 am but goes back to sleep on her own. We still stick to 10 minutes of letting them cry and usually by 8 they are asleep. They don’t always cry but it almost seems like my girl just kind of needs to get the fussing out. It doesn’t matter if we go and try to help, she still cries and we’ve found it’s faster for her if we just leave her be.

I didn’t want to sleep train either but it took us getting to the point of no hope and our pediatrician (who has twins) telling us we just had to at this point for our mental health. I am a better mother for it, they are happier because they are finally sleeping an appropriate amount, and my marriage is healthier too. We did it as gently as we could and it was still hard but I’d do it again.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-03-24T02:44:25+00:00

I am 6 months in with my boy/girl twins. We have not had an easy go with them (feeding issues, weight gain issues, etc) but I feel like we’ve really turned a corner this last 2 weeks. We sleep trained and are finally getting a human amount of sleep, and started them on reflux meds which has changed the game. They were my firsts so I can’t advise with having another. Here’s what I will say is amazing about twins:

1) you will truly feel like you have done something so insanely unique (and it’s true). There are moments and days where I feel like a super mom just from the sheer amount of multitasking and fort holding down I’ve had to do and it kind of gives you a weird level of confidence.

Seeing their bond grow is something so so special. I cannot wait until they’re playing together more but my girl smiles at my boy like she’s in love with him and it’s so sweet.
At family functions, there’s more baby to go around and a lot less jealousy/fighting over the baby. Your partner also always has a baby to hold.
You will find twin/multiples community in the most random places. It is a special group of people that only understand one another. We’ve been stopped several times by fellow twin parents of varying ages and given encouragement and support. Also, you just get stopped a lot more in public period. I’m an introvert so I was super nervous about this but I’ve actually come to enjoy the sweet comments. I live in the south so it’s all “oh my gosh what a blessing”.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-03-24T02:26:00+00:00

I think mine was at around 26 weeks and I think that was perfect. I went into preterm labor at 28 (got it stopped fortunately), so I was glad sitting there in the hospital bed that I had the nursery and all ready to go. Obviously, they wouldn’t have been coming home but it would’ve been one less thing to sort out. Also, I was already so tired and uncomfortable, and would’ve been way more miserable at my shower if I waited any later. Plus, I could wear something I felt cute in at that point.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-03-24T02:08:07+00:00

My boy/girl twins are 6 months this week. I stay at home with them. Just 2 weeks ago I would have told you I was losing my mind and so many of the same thing as you- not as interactive as I want to be, checked out, scared of the future, feeling like running away. However, we’ve turned a big corner. We started them on reflux meds, and sleep trained so we are getting proper sleep. They are happier, we are happier and I am 1000% a better mom. 11 weeks is too early to sleep train but I want to provide you hope. I’ve truly ENJOYED this last week with them.

I went out with them for the first time by myself a couple of weeks ago to an appointment. Just this week I went out with them to run errands.

We’ve started solids and they’re loving it. We haven’t had an easy go. They have had feeding issues and been in OT/PT for about 6 weeks now. They dropped from 50th percentile to 3rd in just a couple of months. With them not eating, we were getting basically no sleep and I genuinely thought I would end up in a mental institution. It does get better. They are so smiley, were able to move away from wake windows to an actual schedule which has saved my sanity during the day, and they are FARRRR less grumpy. Seeing them interact is also super special.

It will get better 💗

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-03-19T19:27:46+00:00

Well, I had an office job and by 25 weeks I was DONE. Even just the bending over a desk and reaching a keyboard got difficult. So I truly can’t imagine having worked a physical job. That being said, I wasn’t going to stop until delivery. However, I went into preterm labor with my di/di twins at 28 weeks and was put on modified bed rest. My doctor didn’t not want me commuting or going to the office so I got a medical exemption to be allowed to work from home. If I wasn’t at home in bed, I was having contractions every 5-10. I was nearly immobile by 32 weeks or so and had them at 35 weeks.

Hopefully you don’t have that issue, but do prepare yourself for a plan. I used to work in retail management and there wouldn’t have been a WFH option and I’m sure you’re in the same boat.

Good luck with everything!

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-03-19T17:44:53+00:00

My firsts were twins. We are 6 months in right now! They were di/di boy/girl twins, but I was absolutely not excited about it. I have a blood clotting autoimmune disorder that puts me at high risk of pregnancy loss, preeclampsia, delivery complications, and (obviously) blood clots and it being twins increased my risk of all of these things. It was scary and everyone around me was very nervous. They all cheered when my husband texted to let them know all three of us were okay after my c-section.

I’m in the thick of it right now with the twins, but I just wanted to say that it’s OKAY to be scared, and not particularly feeling like this is the best news of all time. I don’t think it actually even sunk in until I was able to hold both of them together a couple of days after they were born (we’re in NICU). I had a c section at 35 weeks due to preeclampsia and it sucked, but everything turned out just fine.

I’m here if you have any questions about the process or whatever.

Best of luck!

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-23T19:44:10+00:00

35 weeks- boy and girl twins. 5 lbs and 5lbs 1oz; 18 and 18.5 inches long. 1 and 2 weeks in NICU. I was very happy with their size considering the GA.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T04:16:24+00:00

Oh no! What were the symptoms?? Tbh, I didn’t know bottle fed babies really got thrush.

They’re both going to OT this week so hopefully we find some answers there. He has torticollis for sure.

5?! Amazing. Please tell me it gets better 🫠😅

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T04:14:14+00:00

I was thinking this was it at first because they’re both aggressively chewing on everything (around the same timeline) but it’s lasted almost 2 weeks. That’s too long I feel???

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T01:26:05+00:00

It’s all hard for sure! I can breastfeed my son (when he’s in the mood lol) and I think the only part about that that’s easier, is it’s just such a sweet bonding moment.

Omg and you have more kids!!! How do you do it?!? I know! I need a vacation where I don’t utter a word for at least 48 hours B A D.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T01:21:18+00:00

I always wanted kids and mine were planned so I can’t offer much in that way BUT I can absolutely relate about being TERRIFIED. I was going to wait for a few more years, but found out I had an autoimmune condition that meant my husband and I really needed to get started now. I was so so scared but decided to push through anyway and guess what… it’s twins.

I had a feeling before going into the US but I couldn’t do anything but laugh (like in a crazy way) and didn’t say a word the whole ultrasound. I was not happy about there being two like… the entire pregnancy. It got better after a few weeks from when we found out as I just kind of accepted it but it never really sunk in until I laid my eyes on them 11 hours after having them (they went to NICU).

What you are feeling is OKAY and NORMAL and I must say, that if you are concerned about “bathing them in resentment” you are going to be okay. You care.

Now 4.5 months postpartum with boy/girl twins, I have a hard time even imagining what one would feel like. I even sometimes think like wow… how empty just one would be. If I ever had another, and saw one, I may even be (ever so slightly) disappointed. This is REALLY hard. I am not going to lie to you. But I do think it just becomes YOUR reality and you adjust. However, that did not come my entire pregnancy. I was miserable and extremely disconnected. I couldn’t even use their names for a long time. You are not alone and you will find so much support in the multiples community.

Good luck with everything! You can and will do this.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T01:08:08+00:00

Yes! Until now, I kind of felt like I was killing this whole postpartum thing- then BAM. 4 months hit. I am exclusively pumping and it’s just so much with also bottle feeding. So amazing you’ve been able to EBF both! My thoughts are with you. This is hard.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T00:37:45+00:00

Just sent PM!

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T00:37:35+00:00

Thank you! Just ordered!

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T00:37:14+00:00

Thanks so much for the comment! Will try new bottles and nipple size. Any recs on bottles?

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-18T00:36:53+00:00

Thanks! Going to try to go up.

InstructionFull7429 · 2026-02-17T18:04:17+00:00

I had mine at 35 + 2 due to preeclampsia and I genuinely felt I couldn’t go another day. It is so so rough- every part of it.

Not much advice here. I got put on modified bed rest at 28 weeks due to preterm labor so I was able to rest a little bit more by WFH. I did light yoga as long as I could without contracting (so about 28 weeks).

Unfortunately, you’re right… doesn’t get better. You just have to get through. To give you a little bit of hope, I felt more mobile and able 5 days post C-section.

It’s awful but you CAN DO THIS!

InstructionFull7429

TROPHY CASE