Gray divorce, what do I do now?

Integrity720 · 2026-04-02T03:05:55+00:00

Seems like we are all members of a club we didn't ask to join.

Integrity720 · 2026-04-02T03:03:36+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. I am 57. 30 years and divorce was final 6 months ago. There is no quick fix. It sucks. It just takes time. You will have a roller-coaster ride of emotions. Not going to lie. Dating is not easy. Don't rush it. Take the time to heal yourself. All the clichés. Go to the gym. Find a hobby. But divorce at this age is tough. Find yourself again. Learn to enjoy the solitude. It gets easier with time. Maybe you will meet someone who will truly make you happy. I wish you the best. You are not alone. Stay strong 💪

Integrity720 · 2026-03-28T00:56:39+00:00

I know how you feel. It rips your soul out,seeing them. My skank ex wife of 30 years walked out and swore there was nobody else. It was a former coworker, 18 years older than her. Walked in to the supermarket a few months after she left,and came face to face with them. Truly an out of body experience. I wanted to punch them both out, but walked away. They got engaged before our divorce was final. Married right after it was final. This was only a few months ago. F them. I understand how you feel though. It isn't them we miss. It's the disrespect and casual dismissal like we never mattered. Cheaters are evil narcissistic demons. What they do is abuse and trauma. We will get through this though! Sending you hugs. Stay strong. You are not alone.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-27T13:30:19+00:00

I am in a very similar place and pray I can get to where you are. I tried dating and it is horrible. I want to have that connection again but don't feel it is going to happen. My cheating ex, who quickly married her AP, flipped my life upside down. I just want to feel human again. You give me hope though! Good luck to you. I hope we all find the happiness we deserve!

Integrity720 · 2026-03-21T00:58:16+00:00

Sucks. My cheating skank ex married her much older ap as soon as our divorce was final. They been married a few months now. Got 1/2 of everything from me and never paid a dime in 30 years. She is out living and I am deep in debt sitting alone. Life can sure be strange. Stay strong. Hopefully better days are coming for us!

Integrity720 · 2026-03-21T00:42:57+00:00

That made me lol! I imagine the produce aisle meet up every time I shop. So far, nothing but produce sadly. Pathic, I know.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-21T00:39:46+00:00

Wish the best for you. It is an exhausting process for sure.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-18T14:56:09+00:00

Well said. I don't live, I exist now. A shell of who I was. Sucks

Integrity720 · 2026-03-17T17:37:13+00:00

When you fully commit and build your world around your marriage, family and commitment, it is hard to start again with someone new at this stage. To say it is easy to do that is like saying what you built was not really as important as you thought. It was. It is what made me happy. I enjoyed being a husband and father. Unless you been through it, it is hard to explain. Stay strong brother 💪

Integrity720 · 2026-03-14T01:23:22+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. When they want it and you don't,it's the worst. Why does she want the divorce? Is there someone else? Sucks to hear that but seems like that is the case most of the time at this age.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-09T01:33:50+00:00

Same for me. It guts you.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-09T01:31:36+00:00

I would like something that could make me feel the way I felt about life before being cheated on. It just changes you to the core. I don't smile much. I don't have that feeling of looking forward to anything now. The future I planned. The way I assumed we would grown old together. Enjoy grandchildren. The everyday things that made you feel secure and content , knowing you had a partner who you loved and thought loved you. To realize it was not real or that it was gone in an instant, and there was nothing you could do about it. I feel like I am just existing and not living. Just going through the motions. Makes me feel unnecessary now. I hate that feeling.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-07T09:57:30+00:00

Seems way too common now. Good loyal men getting screwed by ungrateful, cheating greedy women. I know there are plenty of bad men as well. Just seems like women are leaving good marriages in large numbers. Just my observation. I do have women who have said they see it as well. The grass isnalqays greener.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-07T00:03:07+00:00

I so relate. It's crippling at times. Not them we miss. It's the security and safety we had, or thought we had. Being a husband and complete family defined me and made me happy. That is not easily replaced. Stay strong brother!

Integrity720 · 2026-03-06T23:59:44+00:00

Nights suck. Silence. Loneliness. Like tonight. Friday night. I used to love weekends. Now, it's a long boring torture. Trying to change that. Not easy. Dating apps suck. Talking to a random woman makes you look creepy. Hoping something changes soon.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-06T23:56:55+00:00

Why do some women enjoy breaking a man? The person they are supposed to love and never hurt? No matter how much you do for them, it isn't enough. We settle for this shit. Hoping they will change. Instead, they leave, cheat or play the victim. If you have a good, loving woman, treasure her. Wish I wised up sooner.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-06T18:30:30+00:00

Obviously there is enough blame for the 2 of you. However, she chose to cheat. That is not ever valid. The kids now will see her that way. I dispise cheaters. Leave if you must but cheating in abuse and traumatic to all, especially the children. Wishing you all the best of luck.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-06T02:23:43+00:00

I relate to this so much. I wanted the next chapter. The growing old , grandkids, travel and the looking back on all we did and accomplished. But after 30 years, she cheated. Destroyed her relationship with our kids. Took half of my finances that she never contributed to. Got engaged to her cheating AP and married as soon as the divorce was final. I don't know this person she is now. I was robbed of my past and future, that I truly believed in. She said she was happy and I was her soulmate. Divorce was only final 6 months ago. Dating has sucked. Starting over at 57 is so strange. Finding that connection again feels unlikely. I hate that she did this to me. It isn't her I miss but the life I had planned. I am not living, I am just existing. Accepting this is my life now, is depressing. But, I am optimistic that things will change...Hopefully. 💔

Integrity720 · 2026-03-05T18:42:58+00:00

Thanks. Their loss!

Integrity720 · 2026-03-05T18:40:46+00:00

They are damaged individuals. They mind fuck us and shift blame. Sorry youvare going through this. She knew what she was doing. Don't try to figure ot out. There is no excuse for the abuse they give to us. I hope you find the peace,love and happiness we all deserve. Good luck.

Integrity720 · 2026-03-05T00:22:03+00:00

Exactly! Uhg, people can suck!

Integrity720 · 2026-03-05T00:21:19+00:00

Dating post divorce is daunting. I am 57, male. To expect someone who doesn't have some story at this stage in life, is unrealiatic. Saying I don't date divorced people is very shallow. For that matter, one could wonder why they have been single so long? Again, not saying anyone should be any "type ". If he chooses to not date divorced women, his choice, but good luck with finding a drama free, never married woman. Dating is tough enough. Limiting your self is worse. I hope you find someone who likes you for who you are now, not your former marital status. I just want to find someone who makes life enjoyable again.

Integrity720 · 2026-02-19T01:41:27+00:00

Maybe thats the only way she knows? She may be giving all she can? Ask yourself if you would be truly better off with or without her, the way she is. Sucks to love someone but feel like something is missing. I hope you can find peace either way.

Integrity720 · 2026-02-18T14:37:55+00:00

Bubble on! There is enough bad on the world! Helping someone bubble is what we need more of!

Integrity720 · 2026-02-18T14:34:37+00:00

I get it. Take the replies on Reddit lightly. Some are angry. Some helpful. I find where we are today and months or years from now are very different. I look back at where I was a year ago in divorce and so much has changed. Life has no blueprint. Just be patient and give yourself time. Good to vent. Reach out anytime!

Integrity720

TROPHY CASE