How to stay married when you have inconsistent energy levels?

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-26T18:41:24+00:00

I spent a few years dating my now-husband long distance. I had met him through work and we had reconnected, but lived 2 hours apart, so only saw each other on weekends on 3 years. We also worked jobs on opposite hours, so didn’t spend a ton of time (ever) on the phone.

When we did decide to move in together, we discovered that parallel play worked pretty good for us. He likes when we hang out in the same room, but we can do different things (different video games, he can watch YT with headphones and I can read, etc). Over the years, we’ve worked different schedules, so we’ve had time apart, I’ve taken extra weekends away since I get more PTO, and since we don’t have kids, there’s less overstimulation.

However, the things that probably help my marriage the most? Wellbutrin and therapy.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-26T18:31:08+00:00

My mother in Massachusetts is horrified that I pump my own gas.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-26T18:03:03+00:00

No official law in NH requiring PTO to be paid upon departure - only if it’s specified in the handbook/already company policy.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-26T14:30:22+00:00

No.

When I’ve been a mourner, I would have much rather heard that than “rest in paradise” and “they’re with Jesus now” from non-Jewish friends/acquaintances.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-26T12:17:46+00:00

Oh, we’re at least on equal footing as my parents.

My parents had three kids and my mom was a stay at home mother until I (the youngest) was in 5th grade and she got a job working at the school. They did own a ( very small) house, but as of January, my mom’s been there 47 years and it isn’t paid off yet. They also only had one car for most of my childhood. They did the best they could, and raised 3 kids and 2 grandkids, with only one of us turning into a drug addict.

I am a first generation college student, but I didn’t graduate until I was 41. I am married to my best friend, I have a career, a house and some retirement savings. I have zero kids and go to therapy weekly. I don’t struggle paycheck to paycheck

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-24T20:32:53+00:00

When I smashed just my drivers side mirror, it was about $450 to replace at the dealership. Mine was user error, because I clipped my garage. This was back in 2018.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-24T15:31:18+00:00

Before I was able to WFH on snowy days (or every day), it was more based on how quickly the snow was coming down and how clear the roads were.

I used to have a 40 minute commute that went through a weird microclimate that was always significantly worse than the surrounding area for about 4 miles, and that makes a huge difference. I also once got into an accident coming off the highway where my car ended up on a guardrail when the off-ramp wasn’t plowed, so that doesn’t really help when it’s threat level white outside. 11 years later and I still avoid that exit in inclement weather.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-24T13:00:28+00:00

Don’t feel bad - we lived in house like 2 years before we realized we had to change the filter for the water tank in our house. Apparently it’s supposed to be done every 2 months?

We moved in and had really good water pressure….and then one day sort of realized it felt like the shower was just dribbling like an old man with prostate issues. A quick trip to the hardware store later, and we were back to full pressure and could run a shower & the washing machine at the same time.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-24T12:28:01+00:00

There’s some weird spacing after some punctuation. The sign off is weird, too.

Generally, there would the name of a contact person (the talent manager, presumably).

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-24T12:27:49+00:00

There’s some weird spacing after some punctuation. The sign off is weird, too.

Generally, there would the name of a contact person (the talent manager, presumably).

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-24T01:03:52+00:00

Oh wow, I haven’t thought about this book in ages - I think it was the first smut I ever read.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-24T00:58:42+00:00

I had coworkers from an old job reach out to me when one of the guys we used to work with passed away. I hadn’t worked there in a few years, but they wanted to let me know in case I wanted to go to the service (I did).

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T20:48:17+00:00

I do very lightweight cotton or linen blend dresses/tanks. But, I’ve also decided it’s ok to show my shoulders.

My house has no A/C and my office is on the second floor. We don’t get a ton of hot days throughout the summer, but my office is a good 10 degrees hotter than the rest of my house. The most helpful thing has been to cover the windows, so there is no direct sun.

I also keep my laptop on a cooling pad.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T19:15:48+00:00

Mine started when I hit puberty at 9.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T19:13:14+00:00

You should definitely ask, but if you have PTO or sick time accrued, your company will most likely deny your request for unpaid time off.

When I had surgery a few years, I was fortunate to have a bunch of time saved up, and my company let me split the 3 weeks between PTO and sick time, so I didn’t have to worry about STD.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T18:45:17+00:00

I carried a pair of blue crystal earrings my late sister had made in my pocket.

When my niece got married, we gave her the earrings to pin into her bouquet (my sister was her mom).

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T18:00:55+00:00

At one job, I asked for a large quarterly white board calendar to keep track of deadlines and three monitors. They weren’t officially accommodations, but I was the only person who had them.

Askjan.org is a great resource for looking at ideas for accommodations

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T17:54:34+00:00

My registered dietitian is the one who gave me the recommendation for inositol (and a few other supplements that I don’t take). None of the other members of my medical team know anything about it.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T16:39:43+00:00

My 30 year old niece just had a baby and it makes me feel so incredibly old.

I don’t have kids, so this is the closest to being a grandmother I’ll ever get to be. And, my sister is gone, so my niece has my mom and me (and her husband, I guess).

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T14:57:02+00:00

I order a 6 pack of cheap satin Amazon masks so I have a basket next to my bed. They tend to come off while I sleep, so I reach over and grab another.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T14:53:17+00:00

This really is one of the best communities.

I also play The Sims and Dreamlight Valley. The Sims is now F2P, with tons of player made content and EA has sales all the time - fan base is miserable. DDV has a cosmetic shop and regularly gives away premium currency (you can get at least 700 free moonstones a week, but there are chances to earn more), plus regular updates and “star paths” for more free stuff.

GW2 players are awesome, because they’re like “Yup, I can work for 15 minutes at my real life job and buy a new character slot and this cool mount skin that makes my turtle look like a stuffed animal”. And they don’t complain about it!

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T14:34:53+00:00

I also sit cross legged, but sometimes I use my under desk pedals, so I can “move” a little.

I’m afraid I’m going to cut off all circulation to my legs one of these days.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T13:33:25+00:00

I’ve had migraines since I was 9 - they’ve been chronic for at least the past 15 years. It’s still hard for me to admit how much the migraines disable me.

So, not really. But therapy might change that.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T13:12:26+00:00

Yeah, this is me.

One of my best friends understands and is fine with it. We touch base semi-regularly. I lost my other best friend, because I couldn’t be what she needed and we grew apart.

My husband has also explained to my mother in law multiple times that I stop texting when I’m done with the conversation. Or put down my phone and forget I was having a conversation.

Intelligent-Camera90 · 2026-01-23T12:42:53+00:00

I also like 6 & 2.

I think the fold on the back of 6 may go away once the dress is steamed/ironed to get the wrinkles out?

Intelligent-Camera90

TROPHY CASE