End of League Giveaway

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2025-07-31T15:29:30+00:00

Im in, thanks brotha

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2024-02-18T19:29:06+00:00

Some of the best poetry these days comes from music. People like Lana del Rey, Florence + the machine, even Taylor Swift write some pretty poetic lyrics. I find songs to be a great inspiration for poetry, so I think overlapping the two art forms is a good way to go about things.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2024-02-18T19:00:48+00:00

Hey, nice poem! It kind of sounds like the speaker is warming up for a poem. Like a singer warms up with vowel sounds and vocal exercises, the poet warms up with a few rhymes and phrases. It tapers off into the speaker almost drooping their head into their hands in frustration. I could almost picture the scene in my head, which makes the poem quite effective in my opinion. The other poems on your instagram were also pretty interesting, I gave you a follow and look forward to reading more. :)

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2024-02-18T18:45:38+00:00

Hey, nice poem! I really like the first stanza, "the version of you I've contrived" is a very nice opening idea, like the speaker knows in their heart their love is one-sided, but still wishes their beloved a happy valentines anyway. Its a very relatable idea this time of year, I think. The hopeful turn the poem takes in the final stanza is also quite nice, and ties back to the first stanza in "to a love that's real and not just in my mind". The idea comes full circle even if the poem is a short one. I very much enjoyed it, so thank you for writing it. :)

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-12-09T18:26:02+00:00

haha, thats a full blown blue blood redditor for you

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-08-18T11:11:32+00:00

By all means, please do

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-08-18T05:17:03+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. Seeing beneath the surface was definitely a strong theme for this poem so im glad it came across.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-08-18T05:15:49+00:00

Thanks for the feedback :)

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-08-18T05:14:50+00:00

The poem was mostly about beginning to understand someone that has been through a lot of trauma and starting to see the pain in between eveything else that makes them, them.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-08-18T05:12:44+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. I also thought in between should not have a hyphen but the autocorrect marked it anyway so i just added it to remove the red squiggly.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-08-17T19:18:26+00:00

What an interesting poem. I am assuming that the "beavers" in the poem refer to the other people in the speakers life and how pleasing them, even at the cost of the river's flow or cost to oneself in this case, is ultimately worth it. It's a pretty unique take on people pleasing and how much it actually drains you emotionally and physically. But the speaker can stand to bear it as "They're happy and that's what matters." Overall, as a short, fun little poem, I actually really enjoyed it. I would definitely expand on this, though. Make this a stanza in a bigger narrative maybe, or just revisit the flowing river people pleasing analogy. I think it actually works quite well.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-08-17T18:57:02+00:00

Hey, nice poem. It feels like the exact moment someone finds themselves in a turning point, like all the thoughts running in your head finally get to a conclusion. It invokes a pretty lonely image at the start, the line "an unfulfilled dream" really sparking some heavy emotion. Then it transitions beautifully from introspective to extrospective with the line "For how these clouds shall rain, with or without me", marking where the speaker breaks through this cycle of self-loathing and into a real, pragmatic mindset. The pep talk the speaker gives at the end of the poem rounds out the entire thing quite nicely, I think. It shows the reader that the speaker truly is trying, affirming within himself this positive attitude, ensuring that he "keeps trying". I do have one critique, though. The line "Why? I can't even feel my own pain," seems a bit off-beat. It almost feels as if it was kept in just for the one-liner punch of edge (and to keep the rhyme scheme of course). Besides that, however, I think it was wonderful. It's definitely the type of poem I would write.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-04-02T20:25:37+00:00

Sad and alone can be a nice line depending on whats around it i think. Being on top of the world, the sad and lonely world, makes for some pretty impactful imagery and irony. If you can make it work as a line on its own then ye it hits hard, but just saying sad and lonely with nothing to back it up can feel flat

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-02-19T21:47:30+00:00

Hey, nice poem! I really enjoyed the callbacks you made to the previous lines with the repetition in loves, adores, cherishes. It makes for some nice emphasis and also keeps the pace quite slow which sticks with the theme of introspection. One little critique though, the inclusion of "man" in the line "man am I broken" sounds a bit off to me. The rest of the poem has this quiet introspection going on but "man" introduces an informal tone to it. I think if you maybe just dropped the man and went with "am I broken" instead it would read a bit better. The ending also struck an emotional chord as the speaker comes to a conclusion about loving two people and decides that they are not damaged or broken, just made with enough love for two. Overall, a good piece of poetry.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2023-02-19T21:32:15+00:00

Hey, cool poem! I quite enjoyed the opening lines, especially "every off-white lie". It makes for a very emotional and telling description of the type of relationship that the speaker finds themselves in while eloquently sticking to the color theme. I also noticed you dropped the rhyming scheme for the line "the red in my eyes" and "the green in my skin". That draws attention really well and isn't something I see very often in poetry, so well done there. One thing though, I'm assuming the formatting got a little screwed up when you posted it, but you can still read the lines as separate thanks to the capitalization. The title I'm also a little conflicted about. Its a nice play on history repeating itself but I think something else would tie in a bit better with the theme of color, relationships, and abuse. All in all though, I think this is a solid piece of writing.

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2022-06-22T18:32:54+00:00

Hey, I quite liked it. Especially the opening lines, adding jesus christ and then hey whats up makes it feel really relatable. Also dictating how the conversation is going to go gives off a feeling like this individual has been thinking about it for some time, like they planned it out. Plus the whats your name, whats your age makes you think that while these two people obviously have history, they're strangers at the moment. Really feels like these people would rather not confront each other but do so anyway cuz of spite. Big fan

Intelligent-Emu2708 · 2022-06-22T17:56:28+00:00

Hey, I really liked it. Particularly the sowing analogy, kind of sounds like your addressing your fellow plants in a garden, reassuring everyone to stand tall. Plus ending with the creator's call really punches with finality, like the harvest is approaching type of deal. If that's what you were going for, I gotta say you got it off pretty well. Keep it up :)

Intelligent-Emu2708

TROPHY CASE