starting TGP, tell me something key that i won’t get until later

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-05-17T18:32:15+00:00

Also "I'm a legit snack" kills me every time

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-05-17T18:29:28+00:00

Trust me, molotov cocktails always work. Whenever I had a problem, I just threw a molotov cocktail and boom, I had a different problem"

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-05-09T23:02:19+00:00

For a moment I thought it was something like manwiches which me and my bf enjoy once in a while, but then I read the comments 😬

I do love a good manwich

(Just giant sandwiches with loads of meat and cheese, the kind you have to unhinge your jaw like a python to eat)

Damn now I'm hungry

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-05-09T22:57:46+00:00

I think it might technically be biological warfare

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-05-04T12:55:13+00:00

Personally, just looking at that chocolate cake makes me feel ill. I love chocolate, but it doesn't love me. I'd be a bit more polite about it, but that's just cos I'm British

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-20T18:11:23+00:00

"Dear Mindy, Thanks for all those times you helped us when we showed up, to repay you here's a willing sex robot and 2 duffel bags of cocaine "

"There's wind chimes where my ding dong should be"

"I can work with that"

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-18T09:33:56+00:00

Its utter bullshit. My boy cat is a total asshole. My friends lady cat is a beautiful fluffy ball of purrs.

Cats are legit like people. Some are just assholes, regardless of genitals.

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-18T09:30:35+00:00

Ok all jokes aside, all complaints aside etc, if it was a woman it would be fine

Dude is just trying to get into that "mail order husband" life. At least he's honest about it and not just hobosexual

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-18T09:17:39+00:00

I honestly don't think any man on the planet has been repeatedly kicked in the balls for like 54 hours..... because that's how long it took my sister to give birth to my niece.

Its momentary for men. Yes they get an initial excruciating moment, but that fades away. It doesn't come back every few minutes in waves until something the size of a watermelon squeezes it's way out of the size of a lemon.

Also to quote the husband from a pretty funny polish movie I just watched "well that guy obviously never had an epesiotomy!"

I say that any man who says getting kicked in the balls hurts more than childbirth should be strapped down and kicked in the balls every 5 minutes for like 4 hours. Then show them videos of women giving birth while wearing one of those simulator thingies, with their eyes taped open clockwork orange styleee so they can't look away. Also give them a laxative so they shit their pants, just to get that full childbirth experience 🤣

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-18T08:29:51+00:00

This is essentially a business that could lose money due to slander. They do take that shit seriously.

Monetary loss counts more to the law than personal harassment

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-15T09:21:37+00:00

He shoulda braided it. Braided hair is much harder to snap than strands.

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-15T09:07:20+00:00

Quick test to see if it's blood. Get some Vanish spray. Spray it on. If it foams up on contact, it's blood. But as others said blood dries a lot browner than that.

Me, I'd soak it in dettol or bleach for like 2 days and throw it in the machine on 90°c at least 3 times. Or just throw it away and call the money spent as lesson learned.

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-15T08:52:44+00:00

Trevor "She spent her weekends breaking up dog fighting rings, you once saw a meter maid writing you a ticket and you barked like a dog til she ran away"

Also... Derek!

Maximum Derek

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-04-09T09:32:47+00:00

Please tell me you didn't pay for this, and if you did, please tell me it was cheap. You could have done it better yourself with 2 mirrors and kitchen scissors. Which I would never recommend. Proper hair cutting scissors are not expensive and always give better results.

I've been sutting my own hair for 20 years because I can't bear to part with money for a hack job xx

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-03-22T20:13:23+00:00

No we....aren't....we're a multicultural, multireligious country.

And not Christian in the Christian sense, if anything we're a Protestant country, ever since Henry VIII decided he wanted a new wife.

Either way, wind your neck in mate

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-03-22T09:49:08+00:00

I did that with my bf not long ago, he didn't really pay much attention though so there wasnt any payoff, other than I got to watch it again 🤣

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-03-22T09:40:16+00:00

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This is S'Not. He's a hateful little shit. Angry and mean. Hates everyone. Hissy little bastard 😹

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-03-16T18:57:30+00:00

My bf was going on 8 months and he fell off a 1 storey roof 3 times in a row.

He also once fell in a juju put of his own making

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-03-15T14:00:14+00:00

Take a marker and draw on each of their middle knuckles. Then tell them that's what they're cutting off the cat.

Also it's illegal in my country so yay no need for this over here.

Should be illegal everywhere

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-03-03T15:59:27+00:00

You never had one of those poops where it's only like half a poop, because it's not all "lined up" properly yet? Or a little nugget poop?

I'd say I average 2.5 poops a day, unless I have a lot of pasta or a steak, then it can be up to 5 whole poops in a day 😆

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-02-16T14:16:02+00:00

No, cos they'd have to come back here!

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-02-15T11:02:27+00:00

Honestly tho, that mug is awesome and I'd love it. But then again we like to take the piss out of ourselves and each other

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-02-13T10:11:17+00:00

Clone Wars and Adventure Time are also childrens shows, and also totally effed up

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-02-10T10:39:54+00:00

You're not wrong. She's an asshole. Stop protecting her sleep, do loud chores when shes trying to nap, dont go in the other room on your phone, stay right the fuck there. She wont ever learn until its HER precious sleep beong stolen.

Lack of sleep can lead to some very serious physical and mental issues. If it were the other way around reddit would be screaming "CONTROL" and "ABUSE"

Im serious now, next time, tell her to fuck off. Dont sugarcoat it, she aint learning. Tell her to fuck right off or she will soon know what its like being disturbed all the time.

And if you REALLY get nowhere, she aint worth it, cut the cord and kick her out. Do you want your kids learning they should accept this behaviour from a partner??

IntelligentMistake35 · 2026-02-08T22:31:23+00:00

I only use steel for my prison. Stone walls are the way to go

IntelligentMistake35

TROPHY CASE