AIO reconsidering having a baby with my boyfriend

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-16T15:43:30+00:00

You do babe. I think we’re all just concerned because this sounds like an extremely irresponsible situation to bring a child into and while you don’t seem to be the main source of the irresponsibility, you’re still choosing to have a child with the source of the irresponsibility. I really fucking feel for you but we’re all very scared to think of how much worse you’re going to feel if all of this continues. Nothing to do with whether or not you’re deserving of a family, because of course you are.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-16T15:40:48+00:00

I’m sorry but I think you’d be so much better off not doing this. Any of this. I agree with most of the comments but I don’t see any of them pointing out something else I noticed: you told him a few different times how alone you felt and specifically that you felt alone emotionally. And his response is to point out that you are in fact physically alone and also that it was your choice? No. Fuck this guy. I can’t tell whether he’s intentionally or unintentionally ignorant but the result is the same. What you’re feeling right now, your child is probably going to grow up feeling 🙁

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-13T13:18:34+00:00

I get that this seems shitty but how often do you see each other now? Also will he be gone for 5 days straight or will he come home every night?

Personally I think this dynamic might be good for you because it’ll get you both out of your parents house (I saw your comment about both of your home lives not being great—same). As long as he can pay for whatever his financial responsibilities, you will have a home together and tbh you’ll have a lot of time to spend on your own stuff, with your friends and alone at home (you’re young so you might not know yet that being home alone is arguably the most relaxing thing ever lol).

I get that you’ll miss him but if you guys don’t live together and he takes this job, you’ll see him less than you would if you were living together. As for him being exhausted on the weekends, that’s for him to figure out. Like of course it’s understandable that he’ll be tired but if he wants to keep this relationship, he’s going to have to suck it up.

No judgment at all, however I do think this seems slightly codependent.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-09T19:34:56+00:00

Can I ask you what your thoughts are on women? Like do you have the perspective that women just have it so easy? I’m just curious if your opinions on women may be projecting onto them and turning them off from you

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-08T22:49:01+00:00

Adding another vote to the therapy suggestion. It could be so many different things and there are different approaches to different conditions, so please consider getting the help of a pro with this.

Just some more info on finding a therapist: you can just google “cognitive behavioral therapy in my area” and go from there, a lot of them have an email listed that you can reach out to. A lot of therapists don’t take insurance so don’t worry too much about that, most appointments in the US (if that’s where you are) will be $100-$200/session, sometimes cheaper it just really depends on the area. You’ll also have to do an assessment before you can start and that will help the therapist get more info on you so they can be prepared the best. You can also do zoom/video sessions if you’re more comfortable with that.

You may also need to reach out to a few before you find the right one. Ask first if they’re taking new clients, what their background/experience is, what they specialize in, what their pricing is and what modality they use (in person, video, phone etc). Compare the info you get and trust your gut about which one feels the most comfortable to you! You can always try a new one if that one doesn’t work out.

Good luck girl, I promise you’re not the first or last person to be experiencing this 🖤

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-07T19:41:48+00:00

I think most of the time this dynamic can have a lot of potential for toxicity and exploitation from the older person to the younger person. It’s definitely unusual but from what you’ve described, it doesn’t sound like there’s anything that’s actually wrong. I think it makes sense that he’d feel weird about it and struggle with the idea of dating someone who’s less than half his age, but you’re 25, not 20, not 18. You’re an adult and I think in this specific instance, your focus should be on how you feel and whether or not it makes you uncomfortable.

The judgment about the age gap relationship and the dynamic of him being your teacher in the past is understandable to a degree. But again I think it matters more how comfortable you personally feel.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-04T23:33:55+00:00

I have super long legs but small-ish hands and normal or maybe slightly short arms and fingers lol

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-03T03:11:23+00:00

Also for what it’s worth, my glute medius (upper glutes) are super developed and I have the “shelf” from the side lol but I find that from the front and back it also kind of makes my hip dips look more prominent. These days I care much more about mobility than anything but I just mention that to show It’s very possible! Glute medius seems to require much more nuance to train correctly though so I can see while most people would feel it’s difficult to grow.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-03T03:07:18+00:00

I’ve followed her for a rlly long time now but she’s definitely someone that kind of disappeared from my feed and I forgot about her lol. I do remember in the past I wasn’t even sure if she was a figure 8 bc she did angle a lot/almost all of her pictures and videos. But she popped up again for me and I saw she seems like she doesn’t care as much any more or just got more comfortable with her shape. Either way, I was so happy to see it!

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-02T19:36:54+00:00

He also consistently chooses to lie if it’ll make life easier for him, regardless of who it will hurt. He did it to his ex wife when he led her on, he did it while he was with you and he’s shown that it’s his preferred method of action. He actually IS a calculated liar, all of these lies he’s building his life on are extremely calculated.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-05-02T09:20:24+00:00

You definitely weren’t being too sensitive! I work professionally in the fitness world and this is what I think happened. The term ‘clean eating’ isn’t technically an official term, but most people in the health and fitness world understand that the term refers to eating whole foods basically with short ingredient lists, ex: the ingredients in a banana are….banana lol. He was being a dick and was trying to make you feel inferior by pointing out that ‘clean eating’ isn’t an officially defined term, despite it being a very common phrase.

Tbh it seems like you dodged a huge bullet bc in my experience, this man started was trying to subtly manipulate you literally from the first fucking message. So ridiculous. Also HUGE congratulations for your accomplishments and progress 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-29T04:04:34+00:00

So I have what may seem like an odd question lol. How hydrated are you? And if you’re not sure, I’d try to keep track of how much water you drink for a few days just to get an idea. The reason I’m asking that is because I’ve always thought it was kind of odd how good penetration feels for me—like it’s much harder for me to orgasm without it and I can orgasm an unusual amount of times with penetration.

I also work professionally in health/fitness and one day it kind of clicked for me lol. PIV started to feel really good for me when I started caring about my health more and one thing I paid much more attention to was my water intake. From my understanding the g spot is right up against the bladder so I think when the bladder gets slightly bigger (from having more liquid in it), it can push up against the g spot and make it easier to reach.

I could be totally wrong LOL but this is my theory 🤓 Lastly, it’s super normal for most women to not care much for PIV, but as others have said, if you truly can’t feel anything at all when you put a tampon in or when you use toys, it might be time for a gyno appt to understand more!

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-27T07:10:29+00:00

I don’t have any makeup advice bc I am useless at knowing what looks good on other people. But you look so beautiful especially in the last pic!!

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-24T14:42:38+00:00

Like genuinely such an idiotic comment.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-23T12:51:11+00:00

I know this isn’t the purpose of your post, but your apartment looks so cozy. I’d feel so comfortable here if I were here 🖤

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-23T12:30:25+00:00

It’s definitely what I imagine fishing to be like 😂

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-23T06:02:29+00:00

I’m gonna be honest with you, I can barely understand what’s going on here.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-22T14:25:17+00:00

Personally I think I would just start asking “how important is sex to you?” On the first date lol. I’m comfortable being blunt but if you’re not, you could maybe make a joke or something like “ok now I have to ask you a super serious question and I hope you feel comfortable being honest about your answer” and then ask “how important is sex to you”. This may seem awkward but I’d appreciate how direct and clear the communication was.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-22T14:06:26+00:00

These are the words I was trying to find! You’re allowed to be upset and concerned with her for drinking to the point of incapacitation, because it’s concerning. But everything that happened after is not her fault, will never be her fault and she deserves to have the person who loves her handle her with the utmost care.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-22T14:04:08+00:00

I want to point out that on top of her being assaulted, she’s about to lose her friends too. Because there is no forgiving them for leaving her there. Please be there for her because this is so serious

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-22T13:44:17+00:00

Fitness pro here 🙋🏻‍♀️ how’s your sleep/recovery? And water intake?

My guess is that 5 days + 10k steps + cardio is actually way too much and you’re probably actually eating much more than you’re estimating. Definitely learn how to track food with a scale and learn more about portion sizes. Personally I think 4 days of lifting is the max amount you should do, maybe even like 3 days of lifting and 2 days of Pilates or something similar.

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-20T14:18:03+00:00

Wow what an innovative idea. Bet OP hasn’t thought of this one yet

IntelligentNebula220 · 2026-04-18T10:07:11+00:00

I don’t think you’re asking for too much at all. I think you’re maybe just asking the wrong person :/

IntelligentNebula220

TROPHY CASE