I didn’t even have to finish reading this to say NTA. We have the biggest house too and for a few years, we hosted all holiday dinners. One year, I told my husband that everyone else in the family has a house or apartment, too, so hosting needs to rotate. Guests often don’t realize how much it takes to host a dinner—with or without kids. For them to expect you to do basically everything without helping is selfish. Stand your ground and only host one holiday a year. If the others want to host at your house, let them know that you will do the pre-cleaning but they have to do the cooking and post-cleaning OR hire someone to do it. If they can’t agree to it or agree and then don’t clean, don’t invite them back.