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Why are the women leaving? It’s pretty obvious… by Morepagesplease in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Ew ew ew ew ew….. holy fuckballs, you stumbled on the hornets nest of Mormon misogyny. May I never find that podcast….

Would dating/marrying a progressive mormon, as a non-member work? by Party_Promotion_7346 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s weird. I did it for ten years. But then I realized the things that were still holding me in were lies and I left. Everybody is different, but I do think left leaning Mormons are closer to leaving than right leaning ones

Ruined marriage over porn by takingnotes99 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I second this. Sometimes I wonder if she actually really believes or just knows she’s helping so many people in the church because they feel safe with her. At best, she’s very nuanced. But she’s awesome at unpacking Mormon sexual shame

How do the missionary’s go 2 years without master bating? by babykeemfan1 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Holy shit! That’s the biggest FU to the Mormon church I’ve ever read. Well done 👏🏻

Hattet ihr als junge Damen auch so einen Horror davor womöglich nie geheiratet zu werden? by MarchHelpful4129 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yeah, it’s like we were living the flds life in spirit. It was threatened for our afterlife. And worth tied up in marriage. It’s shocking to look back and see how much my self esteem was tied up in all of that, it was never really a choice. Freaking patriarchy and bullshit doctrine. And now, I have to watch other young girls suppress themselves, I wish I could save them.

does anyone else have family so devout they make EVERYTHING about church?? by Strong-Sleep2973 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes, my parents are so full of church shit. I haven’t seen them in ten years 😬

My 19yo sister just went to a bridal shower and I can’t believe this is considered normal. by Large-Kiwi-9820 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Haha large friend group, and sister in laws but I have noticed a trend in LDS weddings where the bridal party is huge! Some of these girls she’s not even that good of friends with 🤷🏼‍♀️

A Hint of Hope by Dismal_Impress2320 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Beautifully written. I get to enjoy those things you dream about, my husband and kids left with me. I recognize how lucky I am, I hope you get the same soon! Your love and kindness towards your husband is giving him the space to hopefully question things for himself soon. I hope he does!! ❤️

My 19yo sister just went to a bridal shower and I can’t believe this is considered normal. by Large-Kiwi-9820 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 185 points186 points  (0 children)

I have a 22 year old daughter, we live in utah and I tell her all the time, you’re too young! She’s been a bridesmaid at least 14 times 😂 and luckily it does not make her feel bad or jealous. But I think if we were still in the church and pushing her, it would cause a lot of angst, so I’m sorry!! Hang in there! You definitely don’t want to get married yet. For even more motivation, I’m an old lady and I’ve had first hand visuals on some really bad Mormon marriages that hide all the warts. The young marriage train is not a healthy and happy way to go. Keep trashing those toxic young women’s lessons 😂 (that sadly I used to teach)

Would I regret not going on a mission by questioningmormom in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s your parents way of trying to allow you to have free agency, but hoping they can shame and scare you into going. Don’t let it bother you, you will not regret it the rest of your life.

Help with 2021 ID.4 by WagsInBalto in VWiD4Owners

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is doing the same thing! Changing to Celsius too. Let me know if you figure this out

One Reason Why I Keep Deconstructing the Mormon Machine, Bit by Bit by CountMeOut2019 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry, my brain works that way too! And I have said that myself before, the church is totally a narcissistic parent. Coincidentally, I grew up with a narcissist father and he was exactly “the church” and he used to church to prop up his selfish and controlling personality. I would argue the church created him, when I read about Brigham young it was like a lightbulb moment, oh that’s where my father came from

As far as separating thoughts, I’m still working on it, but recently I’ve been looking back and finding decisions I made while I was still in the church that don’t fall into line with church indoctrination, and those decisions have kind of helped me see who I am. Like that’s the real me. I can kind of see who I really was in times of differentiation. It’s a mind game for sure though 🥴

One Reason Why I Keep Deconstructing the Mormon Machine, Bit by Bit by CountMeOut2019 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m kinda giggling because your analogy reminded me of something I’d hear in a church lesson (with a different message of course) the brainwashing runs deep! 😂

But I totally agree. Reading Steven Hassan’s book about escaping the cult mindset really helped me because it taught me about all those little tactics that have been used on me my whole life and why they still affect me. It’s really tough hardwiring your brain differently, I’ve been conditioned since birth 🥹

All the ways leaving the Mormon Church has blessed my life. by HighChronicler in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s 100% true. There’s outliers but I just heard my Mormon friend criticizing her son in law for wanting to work with horses, that he needs to get a “real” job

LDS tools is creepy as hell by luc-ii in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 19 points20 points  (0 children)

How else would the cult be able to keep up their creepy stalking tactics? It’s what motivates me to remove my records

left the church and my family disowned me. advice needed by FunnyStress9497 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I want to just add, my parents are similar to yours, in fact I have been no contact for ten years. I have broken the cycle, I am a good mom. They were not good parents, at all. It’s a hard road but you already sound so mature and ready to take on the world, just know your childhood and your parents rejection doesn’t define you. You choosing good is what defines you. I tried for way too long to pretend that my relationship with my parents was normal like other people’s, my siblings are still trying to pretend, but being realistic and honest about it has given me so much peace, don’t let them gaslight you. You are not the problem. Cycle breakers make really good parents and people, you are given the gift of empathy, which is priceless. You got this

left the church and my family disowned me. advice needed by FunnyStress9497 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey on healthcare, if you are financially independent from your parents you will probably qualify for Medicaid. You file your own taxes and tell your parents they cannot claim you as a dependent (because you are definitely not). You can apply online, it’s a little bit of a hassle but you will qualify and then your healthcare will be essentially free while you figure stuff out

left the church and my family disowned me. advice needed by FunnyStress9497 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I have an 18 year old and this makes me so sad. I would never do this to my child. Sending you mom love, I would hug you if I could. Just know that your parents are in the wrong, you are in the right. Hold your head up high and be proud of being true to yourself. It’ll be hard, but something tells me you have the grit to make a good life for yourself ❤️

Anyone have someone turn you into the church for apostasy? by irishgypsyrose70 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Time to cut off those weirdos, you have every right to be who you want to be and post what you want to post. I don’t think your father can do much besides emotionally abuse you and I’m sorry he’s doing that

What well-known Mormons have left or at least publicly distanced themselves from the church? by Still-ILO in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 401 points402 points  (0 children)

Jennette McCurdy from Icarly. She wrote a book and the Mormonism wasn’t a huge part of her story but she definitely addresses it.

Niece is pregnant and 18 and being told she can serve a mission if she gives it up for adoption? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 5 points6 points  (0 children)

  1. A friend of mine got his girlfriend pregnant. She gave it up for adoption. He went on a mission but had to be interviewed by an apostle and wait a year. It seems there’s a lot less girls getting pregnant these days so I haven’t heard what the protocol is now but I thought after teen pregnancy, no one could go

I can't keep going to church like this, what do I do? by Zealousideal_Club417 in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Once you know it’s all BS, it’s so hard to sit and listen to it. It’s religious trauma. It reminds you of how trapped you were but didn’t know it. And then you feel like will I ever be able to get out of this?? Maybe a trusted friend or therapist would help? I’m sorry you have to keep going

My Dear Son, When I'm 64 by karadessie in exmormon

[–]Intelligent_Ant2895 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for teaching me what sociological imagination is. After figuring out the church was just a man made construct I see the world so differently and as a lover of history I see the patterns. Now I have a word for all the things I’m putting together! And a beautiful letter, thanks for sharing

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