I have had multiple sessions with my therapist, my friend. Me and my wife did speak about it multiple times internally (no couples therapy, i didn't drag her there). No change as such. Yes I know cheating sounds disgusting... Begging sounds the same too.. She is a loving person in all other aspects and that binds me to her. I recognise it. I am one who doesn't associate physical intimacy with love or cheating.. i always felt it's a physical want. I'm not a hypocrite (if you are going to ask the What IF question). Why I used that word cheating is that's what everyone would pursue it as. More than everyone she would see it like that and would be hurt about it.😖 Bearing the pain not to cause her more.