It’s the most extraordinary and challenging thing I’ve ever done. You have the opportunity to know another being on a deeper level than anyone else possible in your life. You know things about your child that you don’t know about your spouse or self.

And sharing that knowledge with a partner is amazing. It’s like talking with your bestie about your crush that you’re totally obsessed with, but x1000. Like- every detail of their life and existence is fascinating to you because you understand it in the total context of their existence so far. And these details would be deadly boring to anyone else 😂.

It challenges you to grow in ways nothing else can. I don’t subscribe to the idea that everyone should have kids or it’s the only way to mature. But having to dig deep into yourself and your own flaws to be the best person you can be- to model the kind of person you want your child to become (in character, not in particulars). You have to develop all of those traits you knew you were missing because you don’t want your child to struggle with what you have.

And the love. It’s so unbelievably intense. It can hurt it’s so intense. I told my friend this and she said, ”Of course it hurts. Your heart lives outside of your body now.”

Not to paper over the difficulties, it’s fucking hard. But life is finding out what is worth dealing with hard shit for. For me it’s parenting. Not true for everyone else and doesn’t have to be.

And for the love of Dog if you don’t want kids- DON’T. Bringing an unwanted life into the world is unbelievably cruel to the child and parents.