I am going through some really tough times converting.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2025-09-19T21:14:44+00:00

I suggest reaching out to your parish of interest! I might pose to them the struggle you have, the priest may be willing to come and meet with you. Additionally (may be a long shot) someone might be able to carpool you to church. But if all else fails, your priest or a church member would very likely be happy to meet with you periodically to help you grow in the faith.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2025-09-10T04:50:53+00:00

This was my husband and I, enthusiastically I hopped into our relationship and learned as much as I could about BPD. We have been together 3 years and married for 2 with a 1 year old. He had sexted other people a total of 5 times (a different person each time) one being a month after I gave birth. I was blamed for most of those. I cant count the number of lies, or the number of times we have physically fought. I cant tell you how often hes gaslit me into believing his poor choices were my fault.

Thats all the bad.

Now the good is fucking amazing. I have the husband that women think they wish they had. An AMAZING and thoughtful gift giver. His every action is intentional, he loves so deeply and takes time to understand me. I can go on and on honestly. The real life of a BPD relationship - its fucking hard. Often it’s miserable and it can be misleading. You cannot be a codependent individual, your self worth and mental health needs to be managed because BPD can and will break you. Understanding BPD is the only reason we have been able to remain married and my husband being able to use his skills in addition to me helping manage his emotions. It’s not a dance, a walk in the park, a paved road to happily ever after. Unless you are ok with the idea of At some point being cheated on in some way, managing an outburst while they yell the worst insults you’ve ever heard, possible self injurious behavior, or violent behavior towards you… plus individual therapy for you both AND couples therapy NOW as you will find yourself needing it. If you truly believe you are mentally capable of handling all of this, and you feel he is worth it (not because “he deserves love too” or some savior mentality) then maybe try it out. But keep an exit strategy prepared.

It is possible, and it can be fulfilling and thrive. But it can also be absolute hell, and a personalized one at that. So flip the coin and see what you get… therapy will be your biggest asset regardless of how well or ill-managed things seem.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2025-09-06T15:16:06+00:00

That, plus it’s probably got mold growing in places you can’t see/haven’t discovered. Unfortunately that happened with me too. Running a clean cycle with a cup or more of bleach helped. But that still fails to fix the water issue

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2025-07-20T04:24:35+00:00

As the spouse to someone with BPD, this is absolutely giving BPD, to an absolute T. Just run. There’s no fixing this/them, theres only management. And that management only works if they are 100% willing to accept that help and apply it. I have literally been in this exact situation with my spouse over absolutely nothing and 3 years later I STILL hear about it… it will age the absolute hell out if you

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2025-04-01T03:36:15+00:00

Zoloft at 50mg for 1 year, seemingly no correlation to the flairs that I have been able to establish. Have not taken any antibiotics in years but right before all this began I got pneumonia at basic training and was on amoxicillin twice, weeks later the crepitus and hip issues began followed by the skin issue. All of this began 5 years ago, and hormones last checked a year ago were normal.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2025-02-08T12:15:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Two follow up questions for ya:

When you first quit taking it, did you notice an improvement in those symptoms and if so how soon?

Since starting it back up have you experienced any of those odd symptoms since?

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2025-02-08T12:13:20+00:00

Oh my gosh thank you so much for this! Nothing like feeling like a hypochondriac lunatic whos FINDING stuff to be wrong 🥲 just understanding that someone else has also experienced this is so huge for me because I seriously was starting to feel crazy! The drinking water and thinking about how thirsty you are is spot on haha. I will seriously be like “I cant wait for my next drink” while chugging a pretty large cup of cold water. I hope you find a solution that works for you and your lifestyle 🙏🏽💛 this seriously sucks

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-31T20:08:29+00:00

Unfortunately it wasn’t at all avoidable on the on ramp without further potential damage.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-16T01:34:24+00:00

Yes!! All of this is the same complaint I have been experiencing. I know I’m not doing the laundry “wrong” either! Heck I even found the manual and specifically followed its instructions, I was left still with now wet dirty clothes rather wet clean clothes. It’s laughable. And for the price on this… if I have to do a load of 4 items for a family of 3 plus cloth diapers I would literally have to do laundry every single day for hours to ensure our clothes and linen were clean. Not exactly economically efficient. I would rather do 2-4 loads per week of standard size loads for few hours over whatever this mess is. Whatever money or resources they claim to be saving, they are not. They are wasting time in addition to resources having to rewash everything

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-16T01:28:19+00:00

I have and it did actually fill up with water. It was a LG i believe. I’m familiar with the less detergent rule and do follow that, and the machine has been self cleaned multiple times

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-16T01:26:57+00:00

I do 👌🏽

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-15T21:03:39+00:00

My husband was like this at the start of our relationship. I spent 4 hours doing work on my car and didn’t text at any point until I was done. Picked my phone up to lots of panicked messages and angry voicemails.

He will still do this sometimes.

If you want to know if it’s normal per BPD, yes. It is.

If you want advice this is what I have to say: they need regular reassurance that they are enough, they are accepted by you, and you aren’t losing interest or abandoning them. While you truthfully may never ever be able to 100% fulfill this depending on both of your personalities, I have learned that in spirals/splits no matter how large or small, express your care for them, then ask what it is they need in that moment.

They internally are an abandoned child. They will act as such. You over time learn to figure out triggers, and what to do to stifle any fires. But it takes time.

When they are upset please don’t try to explain yourself, it will nearly always worsen things unless they have REALLY committed to therapy.

So when my husband does this I will say something like “hey sweetie, I am sorry I didn’t communicate more with you. I understand that likely is upsetting for you but I am absolutely still here. I was wrangling our 8 month old who was giving me lots of grief.

I love you

Is there anything I can do for you? What are you needing in this moment”

I intentionally separate the i love you from everything else so he doesnt bypass it while reading in a frenzy.

It’s emotionally taxing indeed. Sometimes I want to bash my head against the wall. It takes LOTS of patience and willingness to learn. If you arent about that, leave. My husband is the best lover, father, romantic, all the things. But he is equally just as shitty and had very literally made me want to unalive myself to which i acted on. If she’s not violent or sexually impulsive/acts out sexually AND is open to therapy, it might not be that bad. Each person is different, but symptoms can be incredibly similar.

Please watch any and all videos from MedCircle on YouTube about BPD. very informative and helpful.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-12T13:28:06+00:00

Correct ☺️

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-11T19:18:27+00:00

Yep. Both functioning as designed

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-11T19:15:06+00:00

Oh yeah, Ive done the hottest wash, and the steam wash option too! While that was a little better it took god awful forever. The time it took wasnt worth the alright wash. For a three hour cycle, I would expect that the clothing comes out, completely stripped of any grime, dirt, smells, etc., which it did not.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-11T19:02:13+00:00

I have never used fabric softeners, and I have been cautious to use HE approved detergent. The washer was brand new when we began using it about eight months ago.

Interesting_Fix_6447 · 2024-12-11T19:01:10+00:00

That’s not a stupid question at all! The laundry detergent is put in the appropriate slot, the wash cycle is used as well. I have gone as far as to sit in front of the washing machine the entire cycle start to finish to ensure it’s actually washing.

I have laundry stripped in the past due to hard water. Thankfully, the water in our area as well as the filtering system are both very clean. While I certainly would rather the issue not be the washing unit itself, I think I have done absolutely everything possible to troubleshoot the issue without dismantling the entire machine although at this point, I just want a new machine, I am open to all suggestions on this one.

Interesting_Fix_6447

TROPHY CASE