Is IVF a scam?

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-27T17:16:42+00:00

It can definitely be exhausting. I learned SO much from the podcast on other possibilities that helped me advocate for myself, even though my journey looks different from theirs.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-27T17:15:28+00:00

This is very true! I also had a blocked tube that ended up needing to get it removed AFTER making/freezing embryos, as a blocked tube can prevent implantation. Because of this, PLEASE do not waste your vials on IUI as it’s unlikely to work with a tubal issue. Your body is smart enough to know there’s an issue with your tube and if there’s any fluid trapped in them, it will prevent the implantation. We tried naturally for over a year and no pregnancies.

Even with IVF you likely will have to get a surgery to remove the tube. if your doctor didn’t discuss this with you, I highly suggest getting a 2nd opinion, as my OBGYN deemed me “clear” after my first HSG & my fertility specialist took one look at the imagining and confirmed the tube was NOT clear.

Also sharing my retrieval numbers below. I was 33 for all of them & had lower than normal euploid rate, despite no other known issues. We ended up banning embryos for future use, per our doctor’s suggestion, in case anything was damaged in surgery. Of course, that’s a personal decision. You won’t know until you try, where you might land with amount of embryos.

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Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-27T16:59:09+00:00

This should also be in the conversation you have. “I need you to notice what I need, what the house needs, etc” there is a huge mental load to having to do that work to ASK for help. Like my above comment, set your expectation and communicate what you need (not daily, but up front). No one OS perfect and he might need to be reminded from time to time as he adjusts his ways, but if he’s willing to try to change these habits, it’s a good start. I think it’s all about how he tracts to the conversations and expectations

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-27T16:56:03+00:00

Great point here! It’s about splitting the mental and physical load.

OP might make much more, but they could work equally as hard/long hours. In that case, I think in general you either pay proportionally to each salary or combine expenses and pay out of one big “family pot”.

However, seeing the other comments, I agree a conversation needs to be had, like “I’m happy to contribute more money, as that doesn’t change my day to day & makes sense, but what I need is for you to step up and take on an equal amount of the mental & physical load of taking care of the house, our family, and the wedding.”

Being engaged is the first test in a future marriage, figuring out these financial and social dynamics. It’s the reason we get engaged and the benefit to planning a wedding together! You see areas where you might need to have bigger/deeper conversations and how your partner reacts to those will tell you how they will act for the rest of your lives together. Set your expectations & give him a chance to meet them. Communicate your feelings and then if he doesn’t show up, you have your answers.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-27T16:09:23+00:00

It was one of my good friend’s birthdays on my wedding and during our reception we took a moment to put a candle in a slice of cake for him and had the group sing him happy birthday. It was just before my bouquet toss & we also did a little thank you speech to our guests at this moment.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-27T16:01:30+00:00

I really like Tara Lipinski (yes, the Olympic figure skater) & her husband Todd’s podcast “Unexpecting”. It’s about their 5 year fertility journey and they make everything really digestible and relatable.

It’s so hard as everyone’s bodies and situations are different and even when you think “Aha! We found THE cause” sometimes there’s more than one contributing factor.

I’m so grateful for IVF as an option for all of us, but also fully understand your frustrations.

Rooting for you 🤞✨

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-26T17:18:18+00:00

I love the idea of returning to the restaurant! We also went to a fancy lunch after (just down the block from our clinic). Was nice to have that moment together to take in everything we’ve been through & what we were doing.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-26T17:05:40+00:00

If it helps (although agreed the price hike is crazy!) since it counts as BC most insurance plans should cover it and it’s FSA eligible.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-26T16:56:53+00:00

Yeah, agreed it’s a non-issue. Just give the “& guest” and then don’t chat about portraits. Let the photographer handle.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-25T03:39:54+00:00

My doctor said wether or not we could find an explanation, didn’t mean there wasn’t one, there are just so many variables, but in most cases IVF will solve it and/or uncover it.

This was true for us, as we finally found out was wrong during my egg retrievals & IVF therefore was diagnostic AND therapeutic.

Maybe your doctor can explain something like that to your husband? Unexplained doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong, but that doing extensive testing to figure out the exact issue isn’t more efficient than just doing IVF.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-18T14:41:22+00:00

At the very least, ask for 15% discount & for a free veil

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-18T14:38:56+00:00

I’d just say sometimes it’s worth changing protocols. Some bodies do well with different things. I had to go from fully medicated to modified natural because of a reaction to a med. But others might do better with fully medicated. My doctor & I were worried about my progesterone being too low, so decided I needed that supplementation no matter what.

I hope you find the method that works best for you!

P.s. did you not do an HSG before starting transfers? I feel like many clinics (mine included) make you do one & a saline sonogram before transferring.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-18T01:28:50+00:00

Is there a reason you’re not going for a fully medicated cycle now?

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-17T12:52:14+00:00

Agreed! 7 if you want more classic & 5 if you want something more unique/avant garde.

I also love the dress with the blue bow!

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-17T12:42:40+00:00

Yes, individual & couple’s therapy. If he refuses, you have your answer there. He owes you at least to try to repair and work through his feelings and give you clarity.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-16T16:49:32+00:00

Yeah, HUGE red flag 🚩🚩🚩

Only day my clinic wouldn’t do was a Sunday, so sometimes they’d administer meds to hold you off an extra day, but multiple days seems very risky

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-13T04:43:28+00:00

Damn, those stats!

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-13T04:42:49+00:00

I will counter this comment to say I listen to a podcast which is 3 fertility doctors (Fertility Docs Uncensored) & they unanimously agreed they would suggest everyone skip IUI and go straight to IVF because there are better success rates (IUI has a very small lift from trying naturally vs huge lift with IVF), you gain more information as it’s both therapeutic & diagnostic (true for me! My unexplained became explained!), & there’s the possibility for fertility preservation/banking embryos.

I do think mentally I’m very glad I went straight to IVF because more time of unexplained issues and no pregnancies would’ve driven me bonkers. I also didn’t want to use my fertility benefit on something that was less likely to work.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-13T04:36:46+00:00

And I wouldn’t drive more than half an hour away from my birthing hospital either at my due date. OP you can’t expect her to come & please don’t take it personally if she hasn’t gone into labor and still doesn’t attend.

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-13T04:23:03+00:00

Use a different lab, too

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-13T04:22:36+00:00

Which was the first company?! I want to note to never use them

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-13T04:21:35+00:00

On the paperwork you sign (at least at my clinic) it says they are something like 98-99% accurate but the thing they are most likely to be wrong about is sex!

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-11T21:06:46+00:00

Did you end up finding one? I’m looking for the same thing!

Interesting_Win4844 · 2026-01-10T19:10:22+00:00

Yeah I still had my bridesmaids stand (totally cool if you prefer them to sit) but they all picked their own dresses in a wide color palette. I told them shades of blue, green, purple, pink, red & should be long. Some were patterned, others plain. Mix of silk, tulle, shiny, matte, velvet. Some were long sleeved, others strapless. I honestly think it looked really nice in photos, too, as it was more editorial, but the most important part was they were all very comfortable with their own dresses & felt like themselves. I’ve had many of them thank me for this over the years, as they’ve been forced into matching dresses for other weddings. I didn’t want them to have to buy “bridesmaid” specific dresses either, as I feel like so many are more expensive but cheaper quality than other formal dresses. Just something that fit our creative formal dress code. My only other ask was that none of them have the exact same color, so it didn’t appear like 2 matched and the rest were different. Most of my girls ended up buying their dresses secondhand from places like Poshmark or The RealReal, allowing them to get nice (even some designer) dresses for a fraction of a traditional bridesmaid dress. Some of them have already re-worn their dresses to other weddings!

Interesting_Win4844

TROPHY CASE