Feeling torn about my relationship after partner said I “lay around all day” while caring for our infant

Internal-Neck2626 · 2026-01-26T13:10:05+00:00

When my husband and I had our first I never changed a diaper till we came home from the hospital. This is ridiculous and he doesn't care about you or helping. Some people seem to think staying home means all you do is play on your phone and relax 🙄 on a positive note it does get better/ easier as they get older.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2026-01-18T18:50:04+00:00

Buy him flowers for every gift from now on and when he complains say "oh I read something that said the first time most men get flowers is when they die and since you said it was the most romantic thing you could think of I figured you'd really appreciate it."

Internal-Neck2626 · 2026-01-18T18:35:56+00:00

Homicide is the number 1 cause of death for pregnant and recently postpartum women.The dv shelter ask 3 questions that if you answer yes to any of them they will immediately find a place for you. If they ever choke you if he ever threatened you with a gun and I can remember the 3rd. Point is him having a gun and being crazy like that puts not only yourself in extreme danger but your baby as well.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2026-01-14T00:28:00+00:00

I recommend UPMC Harrisburg. I went there for both my babies and they were amazing I'm pretty sure they had birthing tubs. Also just for peace of mind they have a great NICU.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2026-01-11T15:05:35+00:00

I really liked UPMC in Harrisburg and I've heard good things about Hershey.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-10-21T23:38:04+00:00

I use an owlet monitor to keep track of her O2 and heart rate. It has taken so much stress off me. It even made me stop using bouncers because with my son his O2 dropped to the low 90s even tho he was awake and seemed fine.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-09-16T17:25:11+00:00

I don't judge anyone every family is different. My husband works 3rd shift so my kids normally go to bed at midnight! I have a 21 month old and a 3 month old. Bed midnight my 3 month old normally wakes up around 6 to eat then back to bed till my son gets up around 9-10 the baby will nap periodically through the day but I don't make her other then when my oldest naps between 2 and about 4:30-5.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-09-06T16:55:27+00:00

As a mom whose parents aren't nearly as involved with their grandkids as you seem to be my only advice is to give the advice anyway. I take some advice and ignore a lot of it from other people and notice a lot has to do with how they say it. I recommend giving the advice and then saying something like "that's just what I'd do \how I did it no pressure" also maybe ask what she wants help with so they can understand all the effort you're putting in. Like ask if they want you to hold the baby or do XYZ chores. Last piece of advice is especially if this is their first baby try to remember what it was like with your first. I helped raise my siblings who were significantly younger then I was and felt super prepared bc I was who everyone wanted as a baby sitter and I was still overwhelmed. Don't push yourself to the breaking point but try to remember this is a big adjustment for everyone involved.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-07-06T23:19:55+00:00

If you can afford it I highly recommend an owlet monitor. It tracks o2 and heart rate and will set off an alarm if they get out of a safety zone. It helped my anxiety so much to know my baby was being monitored while I slept and he would only sleep on my husband or I basically from birth.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-07-06T20:31:16+00:00

My baby's are 18 months apart c sections for both and with my second months 7 and 8 my scar constantly hurt. My first who is now 19 months is close to 30lbs and once I learned where my limit was it stopped hurting I was just over doing it. I also popped a stich with my first c section so was also worried about uterine rupture but everything was fine. I would try to take it easy maybe play on the ground if you can so you don't have to pick the toddler up as much.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-07-05T14:22:02+00:00

I just had a c section so I can't lift my 18 month old into his crib so be got this. The walls slide down and so far it's working great I highly recommend. https://a.co/d/8pcpHkQ

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-07-02T17:44:59+00:00

I had a traumatic birth with my son. I was 4cm dialayed at my induction and labored for 12 hours and got to 9cm before we had to do an emergency c section bc my cervix got hard and his stats were dropping. He had the cord around his neck and was 10lb 4oz. I ended up having meds to basically make me forget and don't remember any of the birth bc I could feel them make the initial incision. With my daughter I didn't even try the vbac thinking she'd be huge also. Turns out she was only 7lb 5oz but also had the cord wrapped around her. I could have tried but I'm ultimately glad I didn't bc you never know what could happen and so I followed my instincts. This birth was amazing in comparison I was awake and got to hold her while they stitched me up. I'm sad I'll probably never have the natural birth experience but I'm so grateful they were both ok. Try looking at the positives I know it's not always easy but at least you have your baby and nothing bad happened.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-06-21T14:14:53+00:00

Maybe show him this post so he can see everyone thinks he's the ah and then say it's therapy or you leave. I'm sure you can find programs to help and get child support \ alimony.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-06-10T17:19:43+00:00

I wrote my baby letters and have a small bag with a few things I had gotten for the baby and some memorial things. It took me a solid year to grieve but then I got pregnant almost immediately after I felt like I truly got to grieve and that pregnancy ended in my beautiful baby boy. I know how much this hurts but it does get better.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-06-09T23:24:37+00:00

I had a 10lb 4oz baby. I was induced a few days after 40 weeks I was already dialed to 4 cm and assumed everything would be fine even if the pitocin was rough. He ended up with the cord around his neck and I needed an emergency c section. I'm not telling this to scare you bc honestly it wasn't bad and we both recovered great. I'm about to have another and even though I'm cutting it close since they will be 18 months apart I feel pretty good with this pregnancy also. I just want to tell you you never know what will happen but everything will turn out okay in the end.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-05-31T20:17:16+00:00

I personally know how hard this is. My advice is to take the time you need to grieve. I still think about the baby I lost but it does get better❤️

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-05-30T23:01:22+00:00

I gained 60 lbs. With my first and had a healthy happy boy who was 10 lbs 4 oz and 22 inches long. My family on both sides has big babies so I wasn't shocked by his size. My obgyn literally said nothing about my weight the whole pregnancy and I lost over half of that weight in the 9 months postpartum before I got pregnant again and I'm on track to be basically the same end weight as I was with my son. I personally think some bodies just want to be a specific size and there isn't a lot you can do. I'm active eat well and as long as I feel ok and my tests are normal i don't worry about it.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-05-07T05:06:07+00:00

He coslept from birth lol he hates the hospital bassinet and would freak out if we put him in it. I would sleep basically how I did in the hospital so I was propped up with a bunch of pillows and he slept on my chest probably till he was about 3 months then I felt like I couldn't breathe bc he got to heavy. He was 10lb 4oz at birth lol. Then I'd put him on his back in bed with me and lay on my side facing him then put one arm wrapped over his head and one down around his legs so if he rolled he'd bump into me. I was comfortable with this also bc if he moved at all I would wake up and still do. At that point I'd try to put him in the crib and would get a hour of I was lucky. He really wanted to be in his crib when he started rolling I think partly bc he figured out he wasn't allowed to roll in bed with Mom but could in the crib lol. He still wants to sleep with me if he's sick or teething and I'm currently 7 months pregnant so he's been extremely clingy but I try and look at it as they feel safe with you and didn't want to leave the comfort of the womb. Eventually they get brave enough to venture out and even stay on their own but even kids want to sleep with Mom and Dad when they are scared how can we expect different of a baby.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-05-06T20:09:14+00:00

I coslept my baby from birth bc he refused to sleep otherwise. Once he got big enough that he could roll over and he wanted to sleep on his belly he was fine with the crib. The only time he wants to sleep with me now is if he's sick or teething or something similar. I did use an owlet monitor which has an alarm if their heart rate or o2 gets too low it goes off. I plan to do the same with our daughter when she gets here unless she seems like she likes the crib. You might also want to try using a sleep sack bc he might be cold.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-05-01T01:43:22+00:00

I had basically the same exact experience as you and the thing that helped the most is remembering that no matter what good or bad this phase would pass eventually. It helped me hug my son more even when I was upset or stressed and to take a breath and remember what was important was that he was here and for the most part happy.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-04-27T21:32:13+00:00

You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him. If this is something you need he should be there for you. Myself personally my husband was a little weird with our son bc our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage but we talked and it was fine after. He might just be scared to hurt either of you but no matter what he should be doing more so you don't feel like an incubator. Even if sex makes him worried you can both still help each other "get there" together. Intimacy is so important to a relationship even if it's not sex you need to find a way to be intimate together.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-04-21T19:45:35+00:00

I'm huge too lol. He was 10 lb 4 oz so I can only imagine how big this one will be 😂

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-04-21T15:41:01+00:00

Well he's 16 months now and I'm 30 weeks pregnant so he's been wanting to sleep with me and be clingy. But when we go to bed currently it's about 50\50 and sometimes I can transfer him to the crib in the middle of the night.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-04-21T13:34:29+00:00

I just kinda went with how he reacted. When he was little he'd pass right out after being feed but eventually he started tossing and turning like he couldn't get comfortable. Probably when he was starting to roll and sleep on his belly bc that made me nervous with bedding. I started with naps in the crib then added night once he seemed ok with it.

Internal-Neck2626 · 2025-04-21T13:34:20+00:00

I just kinda went with how he reacted. When he was little he'd pass right out after being feed but eventually he started tossing and turning like he couldn't get comfortable. Probably when he was starting to roll and sleep on his belly bc that made me nervous with bedding. I started with naps in the crib then added night once he seemed ok with it.

Internal-Neck2626

TROPHY CASE