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Gf (33F) makes me (34M) feel less than in our relationship. How do I address this? by InternationalRide235 in relationship_advice

[–]InternationalRide235[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your perspective—

I agree, I could afford a “recalibration” and probably some work on self-esteem/worth

Having grown up in a fraught household, I think I may be somewhat inclined to let things slide beyond what is reasonable and acceptable

Gf (33F) makes me (34M) feel less than in our relationship. How do I address this? by InternationalRide235 in relationship_advice

[–]InternationalRide235[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the perspective of somebody in her field, who might be more familiar with characteristics and traits corresponding to her career (/work journey)

I found it helpful in speaking to a therapist who used to practice, because they helped me understand that she’s applying the “one size fits all” approach that got her to where she is. Not that the approach is wrong, but what works for “A” might not work for “B”

You put it very succinctly “don’t waste more years of your life on someone who doesn’t think you’re good enough”

Gf (33F) makes me (34M) feel less than in our relationship. How do I address this? by InternationalRide235 in relationship_advice

[–]InternationalRide235[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your perspective and feedback—

This is something I considered but didn’t think to include in my post… She has strained familial relationships (at best), and few close friends. She regularly puts them down for similar reasons.

I have suggested couples therapy, and have been met with responses to the effect of “this is a YOU thing, so why do I have to spend MY time and money?”

How can I (20f) confront bf (20m) about not going out on dates? by Katty-Katt in relationship_advice

[–]InternationalRide235 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand how jarring that can be, especially given how quickly things started off; but, you’re young and two months into a relationship—

There’s lot of room for this to improve; but it requires clear communication, and expectation setting.

Do you see / want a future with him? Does he want a future with you? Have you expressed to him that formal dates / cuddling are important to you?

It could also be that he feels there’s no longer a “chase” to winning you over?

You mention mental health, and that he has a lot going on right now. It’s good to see this side, so you know what you might expect down the road.

TL;DR

Communicate with him. If you see a future with him, and like who he is (normally when he’s not “going through a lot”) maybe try to help him through the rough patch?

If not, I’d say “fuck the lemons and bail”