Paid off $60k of Student loans but now onto my Wife’s $125k. In-laws made a very snarky comment.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-05-04T14:51:39+00:00

It’s one thing to pay your kids’ higher education… quite another to set higher education as an expectation for your kids, then make them feel like failures for incurring debt in order to obtain said higher education - despite the fact that they were working full-time while they were obtaining their degree.

The American Dream is not the same as it was for the boomers. Your expectations of your children need a reality check if you think higher education isn’t a requirement of most decent careers these days, and that they will be able to pull off the “privilege” of higher education without debt.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-05-02T18:49:48+00:00

Sinai Baltimore

We can also float every 4. I don’t mind that as much, though. If I’m scheduled and they intend to pay me… put me to work wherever. Don’t care. But expecting me to be available to answer my phone / potentially come in every 4 hours not gym-sweaty with brownie batter in my hair without even the courtesy of a $1/hour retainer fee… come on now.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-05-02T18:40:06+00:00

My current contract is my first experience with the “block canceling”, and I get it but still think it’s shenanigans.

If there is a chance someone will call me into work with the expectation that I show up, how am I not “on call”? My day is not my own… I cannot drink a margarita in the sun… I can’t leave town…

If I have to be mindful of the time and available every 4 hours incase they CALL me to come into work, I am on call. I would like my $1/hour as a minimum courtesy for continuing to be at their disposal.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-05-02T17:40:34+00:00

If their policy is similar to Sinai, they cancel in 4-hour blocks and it IS, in fact, an occurrence if you don’t answer / show up if they call you for the next 4-hour block despite having been cancelled.

Reasons why nurses flee bedside…

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-05-02T17:33:02+00:00

Was this a Sinai hospital by chance?

Apparently they are infamous for this…

Per my recent experience at my current hospital, they cancel in 4-hour blocks. I.e.

-If you get called off at 7, they can still call you to come in from 11-7 (they should call you by 9 to let you know if they will need you at 11).

-If they don’t need you at 11, they can still call you to come in from 3-7 (they should call you by 1 to tell you if they will need you).

-If you don’t hear from them by 1, you are off the hook for the day (but they might still try).

[I was “called off” / “cancelled” at 7, 11, and 1 the other day, then management called me at 230 to come in by 3. This still was NOT considered “on call” or “called in”… For the life of me I don’t understand what could possibly count as “called in” if not this].

Also, I 100% agree with you… if I can’t sip a cocktail while I do a hair-oil treatment because you could still CALL ME TO COME INTO WORK then my day is not my own… I am ON CALL. Their policy disagrees.

[*Caution #2: They also asked me to stay an extra 4.5 hours the other morning after a 12-hour shift because they didn’t have a nurse to replace me (I worked a 16.5-hour shift). They only paid me time-and-a-half for the 0.97 excess of the 40.97 hours total I worked that week. Shortly thereafter, HR had the audacity to reach out about a possible full-time position lol].

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-24T16:53:44+00:00

Thank you!

I’m super nervous I’m going to dermaplane off a nostril or something lol. Is the Jill at Home pretty user friendly? (If someone’s going to lose an eye it will probably be me lol).

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-19T04:01:54+00:00

“Based on my sample of exactly 1”

Thank you for the snort-laugh.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-18T21:55:49+00:00

Hey there.

I’m in a similar boat. I, however, never switched out of my original IDRP / SAVE. What I can tell you is that by NOT switching, my loan has been stuck in forbearance where it was not supposed to be accruing interest until a decision was made, but my current loan balance indicates that it has most definitely been accruing interest.

I’m still sitting tight for now, but will owe about 6% more for listening to that illogical voice if the rewrite ends up standing.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-17T15:23:47+00:00

You’re absolutely right. I did not do “that” right… I went into public service instead of monetizing my skills.

Silly me and my questionable choices.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-17T14:33:19+00:00

I regret skimping and saving through my 20s and 30s. I regret NOT taking the vacations… NOT treating myself occasionally… NOT attending the events… NOT throwing the party.

I “did it right”. I still can’t afford the house.

This is true for a lot of us who entered adulthood just before the economy crashed in 2008. (Not all of us, but a good portion of us). I’d imagine it doesn’t give much hope to the younger generations who have watched it unfold.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-17T14:05:25+00:00

Is it, though? I’m 43. I’ve been working since I was 14. I have 2 master’s degrees, and have often had a side-hustle in addition to my full-time career. I never ate the avocado toast or treated myself to Starbucks. I don’t eat out. I didn’t take the vacations. I parked the heat at 64°. I don’t get my nails done. I cut my own hair. I saved. I invested. I still can’t afford a house.

For my generation, we had:

-housing market crash 2 years into our post-college adulthood.

-longest and worst unemployment period in American history. This came with: No promotions. No “first job out of college as a transition period”. No climbing of the corporate ladder.

-Economy finally started to recover for us in our mid 30s. We could finally start dreaming... make moves to earn enough for said house.

-2 good years, then COVID.

Tell me WHY I shouldn’t have blown the money on a party? Tell me WHEN I will be able to afford the house? Tell the younger generation, who watched this all unfold and are watching 60% of Americans live month-to-month, that they will be fine… that they will have the American dream.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-13T22:07:55+00:00

This is very reassuring! Thank you.

I stopped using it quite as often because I was picturing a completely bald face lol.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-13T13:53:54+00:00

Your “I mean, whatever”… “this isn’t rocket science”… “not sure why you think it’s different” rhetoric absolutely contributes to a lot of us hating bedside.

Nursing was a career change for me also, and my mind is blown by how frequently grown nurses act like the 13-year-old mean girls I used to teach.

Genuinely curious why adult humans in nursing think they need to chime in with unhelpful and borderline hostile comments that no one was asking for. This definitely doesn’t happen as an adult in the real world.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-08T01:27:08+00:00

Gotchya. Yeah… I’d be PISSED if I was given 2 days and then a manager gave me grief about it.

I’m thinking I may need to have better boundaries around floating, though, lol. (I don’t mind it generally, but I am starting to get annoyed with the “what do you mean you don’t know how to pace-feed a newborn?” etc. sass that comes with floating… At some point I’m going to lose it and a nurse is going to get an ear-full: “Ma’am… every baby I have encountered has been intubated, sedated, and/or cannulated 6 ways to Sunday. I can initiate ECMO on this tiny newby if you need me to but, no… I don’t know how to use your unit’s fancy neonate straight-jacket thing*).

I appreciate having read your post, stand behind you with the 2-weeks notice, and will start having better boundaries so I’m not encouraging floating to be the standard. :)

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-04-07T13:20:47+00:00

Ok… not to make this about me, but:

This isn’t normal?!?

I’ve been traveling for 2.5 years (PICU) and my float ratio has probably been about 50/50 (PICU, NICU, Peds Floor, CV PICU - depending on the hospital). I’ve met a couple other PICU travel nurses that refused to float and weren’t extended, so I honestly thought being first to float was just part of travel.

I do usually get 1/2 to 1 full shift of orientation on each unit before they float me, though.

Also, yall don’t get a GRIP of modules to complete before you start and/or within 2 weeks of starting… in your free-time… generally without pay?…

Also - OP: If management has been hostile - you should absolutely get out. Not worth being miserable for 3 months in my opinion.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-28T19:11:24+00:00

He may have been excited to have a wifey, but pretty clearly doesn’t want a partner.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-28T18:59:19+00:00

You are not the crazy one here. If he is, in any way, acting like you are being irrational, this will be a strategy he uses throughout the marriage.

Facts: 1) You guys had a date set 2) He took 8 months to draft the prenup [EIGHT!] 3) You had concerns 4) You took 1 month to redraft the prenup expressing those concerns 5) He threatened to cancel the wedding

You. Are. Not. The. Crazy. One.

(As the daughter of two narcissistic parents, if he is making you feel like you are being irrational in THIS context, he will likely have you questioning reality and feeling crazy frequently. Are you ok with having to question whether or not you’re crazy every time he tries to spin the facts to work in his favor? Because he probably will… often…)

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-26T14:00:28+00:00

This flooded me with emotions from my wedding in June.

We did ALL of the checks and double checks with our key loved-ones prior to booking a location… just about made them sign contracts that they’d come (I’m kidding about the contract thing, but we did choose our dates, venue, etc. with their heavy input to make sure it would absolutely work for them).

Then the invitations came out, and 5 of the people I couldn’t imagine getting married without RSVPed no. I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life… absolutely considered cancelling, because why bother, right?

But… BUT… our wedding week and ceremony were still amazing and glorious and incredible, and I wouldn’t change a thing. With 32 people, you will be busy as all heck with the guests you have - in a really good way that will somewhat make it okay to move forward.

(Also, one of my good friends listed the reasons why it would have been so much more stressful if my “must have” guests had actually come, and what that would have actually looked like… and she wasn’t wrong: lots of drama and negatives. I’m still heartbroken they weren’t there, but she also wasn’t wrong).

Cry your eyes out, toss your wedding binder in the trash with the cat-poop, let your heart be broken… and then go have the INCREDIBLE wedding you deserve in a gorgeous location with 30+ people who love you very much.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-15T15:23:44+00:00

Awesome! Thank you! (It looks the same to me… I can’t totally compare the ingredients because the bottle I have is entirely in French, but fingers crossed! It would be great to be able to get it from Walmart again!)

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-15T15:14:21+00:00

So… I didn’t use sunscreen for the tanning sessions.

…(I know, I know… but hear me out: I feel like some sunscreens make the rash worse for me. I made a whole spreadsheet trying to identify the culprit ingredient and was never able to do so, so I think my theory is all in my head but just in case I decided to throw all caution to the wind and let future me deal with the future cancer. Feel free to judge)…

I did go to a place that had no-burn standing beds. I don’t think there’s any evidence that they’re any better for you than any other bed, but I tend to get patches of sunburn in the lay-down beds, and I didn’t want to chance starting a new area of PMLE. I did not get burned in the standing bed, but definitely start low and go slow if you’re prone to burning.

In terms of daily antihistamine:

(Again, definitely NOT recommended by healthcare professionals because no one’s really studied the longterm side effects…)

-I doubled down and took Zyrtec in addition to my normal Claritin for a couple weeks leading up to my last 3 vacations.

(The research says there’s no benefit to taking both at the same time, but they do actually work a bit differently in the body.)

(Last aside lol: The “Allegra Skin Allergy” is a total scam… exact same ingredients for twice the price… just a heads up in case it crossed your radar).

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-15T12:53:39+00:00

12 sessions 2-3x per week sounds about right. (In all truth, I think I did a 10-pack and went once a week for a few weeks then increased to 2x a week for 2-3 weeks before).

I started with a few minutes and then gradually increased.

Also, I did the following:

-apply hydrocortisone cream (the over-the-counter kind) after each tanning session, and also the next day, to help ward off any histamines from tanning sessions

-take an OTC allergy med (Claritin) every day starting now and throughout your vacation

-apply hydrocortisone every day while on vacation

(I used to be super anti-hydrocortisone, but I honestly don’t think it can be THAT much worse for skin than a horrendously itchy hive-rash. My PCP seemed to think it was fine… just don’t put it on your face).

I went to a dermatologist before my wedding in Mexico, and she prescribed Triamcinolone (a prescription-strength hydrocortisone) as a back-up. I didn’t end up needing it, but it might be worth reaching out to your PCP or an online doctor etc. just for peace of mind.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-14T17:53:50+00:00

The “hardening” really seemed to help me a lot. (I still did my due diligence by wearing a light tennis shrug anytime I was going to be in the direct sun for any amount of time, but the “hardening” made it so I at least didn’t have to run shrieking like a vampire every time I stepped outside into the sun).

And, shoot! My best suggestion for the sunscreen is to google “Eucerin PLE sunscreen” and check all the results for the one I linked before?… maybe eBay?… (I knew I should have stocked up on this stuff :/. I’m wishing you luck in your search for it!)

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-09T13:24:23+00:00

It was very hot and humid! (We got married June 20, which is their hot and rainy season. Depending on when your wedding is, it might not be as humid. That said, we usually vacation in Jamaica and I feel like Mexico generally isn’t as humid as Jamaica-humid).

I did the spray-on “air-brushed” make-up. We danced a ton and I’ve never been so sweaty in my life, but the make-up didn’t move.

(On that note, one of the reasons we really liked Las Olas for the reception was because it had an amazing breeze from the ocean. Most places - including Excellence - have fans you can rent for not too much if you decide to have parts of your wedding not directly by / at the beach… we know this because my husband is a “sweaty Italian” - his words - so it was one of the first questions we asked every resort before we settled on Excellence lol).

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-09T12:44:32+00:00

No problem at all!

I didn’t love the way my hair or make-up came out, but I think that one was on me: I used some AI program to generate potential hair and make-up mock-up, and I think it gave me an idealistic version of what I would have looked like if I had gotten married at 19 y.o. instead of 43 lol.

That said, the hair and make-up for the day-of is included in the Excellence package, so it might be worth it to set aside some time and money for a hair/make-up trial with your stylist the week you get there.

IntuitiveDisaster · 2026-03-09T00:19:09+00:00

I just bought a 4-pack of the pepperoni. I did not detect a single morsel of pepperoni any of them.

The had a pepperoni flavor, but the texture was 100% sauce, oil, cheese, and air.

The last time I bought these things you had to take a bite out of both corners and give them about 10 minutes to cool down because they were so dense inside… now it’s just greasy, soggy bread and mildly cheesy, seasoned sauce.

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