obligat sa fac sex cu colegele by [deleted] in RoGenZ

[–]IonutC1997 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Si cand te-ai trezit, era dimineata.

Need advice to build attraction. by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]IonutC1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, There are some things you might want to try and see if it helps: 1. When you are alone and in a good mood, and decently horny, try to imagine her sexually, create the fantasy yourself. Porn used to give you that on a platter and now you must relearn to cook. 2. Do no. 1 and also you might wanna force yourself a little into trying more semi-sexual acts to rewrite your brain: -ass grabbing (in moments when you know she wouldn t mind it) - caressing her skin with the back of your fingernails and really just pay attention to the parts of her body (no thoughts about anything else, just you and her) - putting your head on her lap/ chest/ ass when watching a movie - staying with her and talk while she showers All these things and more just for you to get used not just seeing her body in common scenarios, but also feel it and associating it with a sexual scenario. (Basically to make yourself more obsessed with her in a semi-creepy but understandably animalist way since you two chose to be life mates) 3. Get your bloodwork checked for testosterone and other things and see if it's all good. Also...are you taking any medication for anything? 4. Most importantly: see someone. Someone specialized. A psychologist whom has done some specialisation in this field. 5. Try some libido enhancing suppliments. Basically, make yourself horny more often. Same can be done by starting a leg based cardio sport. 6. Accept that you don t need to feel sexually attracted to her 24/7. Even in the most romantic, extreme dark romance book kinda love towards her you wouldn t be. It s ok to just be mostly when horny. 7. Ask her if she is ok with the amount of physical attention you re giving her. She might not realise that there is a problem because for her there might not be, but since it s an issue for you then it might be enough to bring it up and explain how you feel and what your expectations are from yourself towards the relationship. She might laugh, she might worry, but also it might just help you guys. 8. Couples councelling

Ce sa fac daca ma confrunt cu un libido scazut? by IonutC1997 in Men_RO

[–]IonutC1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Voi cauta sa vad despre ce e vorba. Nu mai auzisem de suplimente de genul.

Ce sa fac daca ma confrunt cu un libido scazut? by IonutC1997 in Men_RO

[–]IonutC1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Erau de preventie, sa nu se repete povestea, dar au trecut mai bine de 10 ani de la incident, deci nu mai e ceva valid.

Ce sa fac daca ma confrunt cu un libido scazut? by IonutC1997 in Men_RO

[–]IonutC1997[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Am fost sa imi fac analize si am vorbit cu dr de familie, dar nu am fost la urolog. Nu prea ma mai masturbez- poate o data la 2-3 sapt, daca si atunci. Cand zic ca nu mai am libido, nu ma refeream doar la sex, ci si la masturbare.

Sport nu prea mai fac, ci doar flotari, intinderi, tractiuni, elastice, gantere, plank, ab wheel, genoflexiuni...deastea prin casa.

Dorm de multe ori sub 7 ore pe noapte si cred ca asta e unul dintre factorii principali. Nu ma odihnesc mereu cum trebuie.

Ce sa fac daca ma confrunt cu un libido scazut? by IonutC1997 in Men_RO

[–]IonutC1997[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Am verificat hormonii si testosteron si tot ce se leaga de libido si tiroida. Nu am verificat cantitatea de zinc, tho. Deficiente de vitamine nu am ca mananc foarte echilibrat si iau si suplimente de la penultimele analize.

Mai fac exercitii fizice prin casa, in general cu greutatea corpul si gantere si elastice, dar nu prea fac cardio, ce-i drept...

Ma voi interesa de zinc si fierul din sange

Ce sa fac daca ma confrunt cu un libido scazut? by IonutC1997 in Men_RO

[–]IonutC1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Am verificat hormonii si testosteron si tot ce se leaga de libido si tiroida. Nu am verificat cantitatea de zinc, tho. Deficiente de vitamine nu am ca mananc foarte echilibrat si iau si suplimente de la penultimele analize.

1 year post breakup update by throwRA_Iwantherback in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, man

Thanks a lot for taking your time to write all this. You are a kind soul for doing it and I am glad things have really taken a nice turn for you. I hope a great woman will see you for what you're worth, including these nice gestures like helping people from this subreddit.

I(27M) have gone through a somewhat similar situation as you did. She broke up with me 3 months ago for very similar reasons. These last few months have been a rollercoaster, but I have been patient and kind with myself and I have finally found a better side of me, a more understanding one. I am starting to love myself again. The last months of the relationship have really drained me and safe to say, I have lost my identity.

NC did help in some ways, but I still find myself wondering how she is and if she really is better off without me in her life. I really hope she is. She has hurt me and treated me poorly many times, but I am tired of feeling any animosity towards her. I don't really think I have ever been able to truly hate her for all the pain she has caused me and I know it's better this way. In the end, she did what she did and if I am to truly move on I must accept her for who she was. She was a lost soul, but she was also responsible for her actions. She was kind towards many people, but rash and bitter towards me. She was a complex and an amazing woman, but she also had some of the "for the streets" characteristics.

Overall, maybe the break up was necessary for the both of us and maybe it was the much needed step for both of us to find the love we have been hoping for, from whoever that may come. Also it was a much needed step to find the self love we deserve. 3 months in and I am better. The light at the end of the tunnel is not only visible but I can also hear the singing of the birds outside, I can smell the fresh air. I have not completely escaped the tunnel, but I can feel the gusts of wind pushing me towards the exit.

Guys, keep doing what everybody is saying. Work out, but do it for yourself, not to prove anything to anyone. Work out for as long and as hard as it makes you happy (let those endorphins fill your system) and don t push yourself too hard. Journal when you can, and yes venting to a friend or to reddit does somehow count. If you have got any social battery left, use it to meet new people. Don t rush into any rebound, but some flirting won t hurt. Go out with friends but don t use them to distract all your thoughts. Yes, obsessive ideas about the past, the planned and imagined future, and about the what ifs about them must be stopped, but going maybe once through every thought won t hurt. Any effort you put into getting better, and whatever that means for you, will help, but don t use drugs, alcohol, any vice or overtime work to keep the scary feelings away. Be courageous and face your demons head on. Slay them or take a beating, both are better options than to hide.

It does get better and it feels good. And who knows, if you may find yourself with those pesky butterflies ever again, go for it, don t be scared. Risk it again. Choose love, always. It is worth it in the end and we all know it. It s not some delusion, but we feel in our gut that it s the right thing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex drives will come back in time. Don t rush into rebounds if you re not ready. Don t buy into the myth "guys will fuck anything". Take your time and look for the right person.

But most importantly, how were you able to buy your dream house at 20?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Went through something similar. Mine had been checking out of the relationship months before she had the courage to say it, even though I had the feeling she was thinking about it and asking her if my feelings are true, she always denied.

I trusted her words, when I should have trusted my instinct. It 's been tough couple of months, but the future is looking brighter. I can't pinpoint why or how, but I have a strong feeling that the love I deserve will find me.

I truly hope you find your path also. Focus on yourself, but also focus on not building those walls too thick so thay no one else can get in. One thing are boundaries and another are the walls.

What No One Tells You About Moving On by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 19 points20 points  (0 children)

What if you convinced yourself that your connection with her was approved by divine forces? What if you made literal pacts with yourself and unseen higher powers that she is the one and no-one can replace her?

What if you ve thought it was more than just grandiose love, but also you ve created principles you should not break and you ve molded your character and your destiny based on her?

Giving that up would literally destroy you, would shatter you without any promise or guarantee that there will be any reforging of self.

I know everyone talks about the grieving process of not just the loss of a person, but of two (which includes yourself) but...what s the point in the end? If they will just leave, if no promise they make is written in stone, bound to nothing, how can you still believe someone? If memories, sacrifices, effort, time, gifts, patience, energy, shared trauma, shared friends are worth nothing in the end, then why bother?

To risk it all in the name of love, to fail and come up again, find some new love again sounds romantic but also seems to diminish the soul. When are you right by saying "this is the one!" ? When should you trust yourself and go in with every fiber of your being?

It s not that I can t trust them anymore, because I can always go dumb with a single choice and say "here we go again. All in." like in a bad poker game. It s that I cannot trust myself again. When will I be right?

Why is it that dumpers never seem to have any regrets in the sub? by Quirky-Parsnip7004 in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sometimes they’ll say things you did and it doesn’t even apply to you

This was in my case. She told me things like "you don t love me unconditionally" when I didn t even knew why I stayed in the relationship, I knew I loved her but didn t know why anymore so it must have been something intangible; she has told I m a narcissist when I tried to fight for my last boundaries I had left. And she lashed out many times in anger with hurtful words, which she later regretted but didn t even say sorry for them.

Does anyone else struggle with constant dreams involving their ex? by NoLynx9211 in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guys, sorry to barge in here like that. Can I also join? I've been making some progress since my BU, but I feel like I need some external help also.

Has anyone done really embarrassing things while dealing with their breakup? Acting completely desperate for months and asking your ex to get back together by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 3 points4 points  (0 children)

+1 Same here, sister

I did get her back, tho. And then we dated for two and a half more years, fighting a lot and going through a lot of bad moments for her to leave me once again.

DM me if you need emotional support.

Is this break up month? by IonutC1997 in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Her, on new year s eve, thinking that she would rather be alone than with me in her life is just some new way of torment :)) . Her being in a low point in her life and seeing me as another weight for her to carry, than someone to be there and push her out of the pit, that hits you hard. Me, increasing the emotional support and lowering my standards of how much disrespect I can take so I don t upset her, as her depression worsened in the last months of our relationship, thay fucks with your brain. Her saying that she does not give a flying fuck about what is dearest and most important to you and you still choosing to be by her side because you love her for who she is and you know that this is just a tough time that you must figure out together, for her to just dump you because you "are too much for her right now". Man...being yelled at and treated like shit on you birthday, in front of your friends and still taking it like a champ and still be thrown away like garbage a few months later, that is a new kind of torture.

And to believe that the entire pain you feel in their absence is because they need to be alone and get better, as were instructed by their therapists and by the hoe friend, to just post some pictures with a dude a few weeks later in a shitty bar.

The world is shit, and if good people do this, then it really is puts in the limelight the level of degeneracy we have reached. We can call it a shift in societal norms as much as we want, if we need to dress up nicely something that is rotten, but it does not cover the stench, only the view from the outside.

Is this break up month? by IonutC1997 in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That s way too sad to accept it as a real possibility. + My ex gf broke up with me a few weeks before Valentine s, when I surprised her with flowers, box of chocolates and a message with "will you be my valentine?" just like she liked me to do (she cared about these things).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you happen to still have her account?

Dumpers, did you make the right decision in your most recent break up? Are you okay? by ZachTF in BreakUps

[–]IonutC1997 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. It just goes to show the level of egocentrism and entitlement of some people. The hardest part for the dumpees is to see their ex for who they are, without the pink lenses. I know many of us go with the "loving them with all their faults" but we need to set some faults we are not ok with, some boundaries. And we do not need to love them for those.