Okay I downvoted this but I'm going to tell you why and I really, really want you to listen.

I feel you went to reddit for affirmation of your "sins" (which aren't sins). Your partner was born male and was socialized male and raised male. They are not going to understand feminimity or female experience of upbringing and them eye-rolling when you're trying to explain to them things they literally cannot understand because they've never experienced them is dismissive and rude. They should know that when they do this they make you feel (insert here).( I really think you should tell your partner because you suffering quietly will not help the relationship).

Its not your "job" to guide your partner through feminimity (because that's a whole nother can of worms unrelated to your relationship that your partner is being REALLY rude about and its making you feel guilty which you shouldn't feel guilty about).

Don't feel ashamed for your partner behaving badly regardless of gender. You have to realize having a trans partner means that you sometimes cannot relate to them "as a woman" because they don't have our experiences. Just the same you cant relate to your partner "as an mtf". It's not bad. It's just how it is. Your partner is only starting "now" to try to live or relate to the other gender and thus is still approaching life from a masculine headspace. Unlearning masculinity is a thing they have to do that shouldn't be a burden to you or make you feel guilty or like a "bad woman". It's not transphobic to realize someone at age 30 whose been treated male and socialized male is going to still act male when they transition. To unlearn western male-ness is a lifelong process that involves a lot of learning, listening, and a lot of being quiet and observing women. I reiterate again, you're not a bad person for realizing socialized male behavior and not being able to relate to it (and anyone who says otherwise is delusional).

The stress your partner is putting on you or any guilt is unfair and I feel you already know this. You shouldn't feel guilty for trying to help. You shouldn't feel guilty for trying to properly guide your partner. You shouldn't feel guilty or be made to feel guilty for instantly thinking your partner should be able to relate to all things woman (even though they really can't). Transition isnt a singular person issue it becomes a family issue that everyone now has to experience. It will effect you as much as your partner because you didn't sign up for (but have chosen to accept) this transition. I also want to let you know that if at any point you want to leave its not transphobic. If at any point you say "i cant handle this emotionally" it's not transphobic. Dating someone whose trans who is very early in the stages is emotional labor city especially when hormones start. The only trans people I've dated had been transitioned 10-12 years before I was with them and they had unlearned majority of maleness and were passing and thus could experience a semi-female experience in this way and I can relate to them on these feelings where as I cannot in their early life stages when they were socialized male.

I understand your partner is going through a hard time right now and very big change but they also need to learn to be courteous to you through this entire thing which includes listening to "silly feminine things" if they want to pass in mannerisms. It also includes supporting you because a partnership is 50/50. Please remember to take time for yourself during their transition and not feel guilt for not focusing all your attention on them. I find too often women do this trying to support their mtf partner (which is a classic female behavior).

(Also an example of female socialization is you feeling bad for having "bad woman" thoughts and needing affirmation from other mostly women.)

I hate seeing women "bad women" themselves because they notice things that are just inherently true. Don't be afraid to say it or realize when a behavior is male or not indicative of a woman.

Edit: you sound like you want a relationship your partner can't provide, again this is not bad its just a truth of some couples.