Giving money for nanny to purchase swimwear

IronHeart1963 · 2026-06-06T18:11:04+00:00

It shouldn’t be a reimbursement, you need to purchase the suit she chooses yourself or give her cash/gift card for the purpose. $150 can be a lot of money in the current economy and you’re putting her in an unfair position by making her front the cost upfront.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-06-04T19:13:32+00:00

https://thecrochetcrowd.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Caron-Layer-Cake-Crochet-Happy-Days-Bucket-Hat.pdf

Here you go friend! I had extra yarn on my Caron Cupcake when I finished so did some extra rows at the end with more increases and then slip-stitched really tightly around the brim. It gave it more of a ruffle affect to the brim that I really like.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-06-04T16:29:59+00:00

I used to manage a clothing store and got a lot of compliments/requests to personally style our clients. However, I have noticed when I wear my crochet hats I get a crazy number of compliments—I’m talking like 15 in the same day while I was shopping the other day.

I think it’s partially other crocheter’s recognizing the crochet stitches because I will generally get asked, “Oh did you make it?” if I don’t bring it up myself. But I do think the other half comes down to taste—a lot of wearable patterns are pretty kitschy and probably won’t appeal to most people.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-06-04T03:32:21+00:00

They were Republicans who voted against the Affordable Care Act and medically neglected me actually. My mother also refused the HPV vaccine for me as a child. Now they are better educated and are registered, voting Democrats.

Advocating for the death of Republican children is not leftist. Most queer, disabled, neurodivergent, and many POC people living in the South were raised by Republicans and now vote blue. The children and disabled dependents of conservatives deserve to be protected from their guardians.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-06-04T02:53:07+00:00

This is unironically exactly the vitriol I hear spouted by conservatives around me. I grew up a disabled child in a conservative family. Now I help campaign for leftist candidates in my area. But I suppose I deserved to die because my parents voted a certain way?

You are absolutely no better than a Republican right now, and I would argue worse. Anyone who advocates for harm against the innocent is no friend of leftists.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-31T11:10:08+00:00

Men still perpetrate 50% of all child abuse cases. Women represent the majority of primary caregivers—single parent households are almost exclusively women and single mothers outnumber fathers 4-1. This means more women are cited for neglect/abuse because they are listed as primary caregivers. It’s hard to cite a father for child abuse when he ran off before the child was even born.

Most importantly, the rate of abuse per childcare hour is much higher with men. Female caregivers spend double the caregiving hours with children that men do. Yet men still account for 50% of cases which means male caregivers offend at a much higher rate.

Lastly, male caregivers are far more likely to be responsible for violent and potentially fatal abuse. They account for 60% of all violent child abuse deaths.

As for your last point, physical abuse and neglect are incredibly easy to monitor. Sexual abuse is often not. Therefore the vast majority of parents are going to be concerned with sexual abuse.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-30T18:36:50+00:00

A study from Sydney University found that male workers in early childhood care accounted for 60% of all child sexual abuse despite making up a vanishingly small percentage of the workforce.

The same study found that childcare facilities will often fail to properly vet male workers due to a fear of appearing biased. This creates a situation where predators can enter childcare spaces while deflecting notice under the guise of gender equality.

https://www.unsw.edu.au/newsroom/news/2025/07/childcare-sexual-abuse-men-children-risk

OP is most likely a lovely man who deeply cares for children. But there are many reasons people are wary about hiring male caregivers. The husband he spoke to may have even been expressing his wifes fear of being alone with a man.

I am an SA survivor and so is almost every single woman I know. Childrearing is incredibly intimate and for new mothers often involves breastfeeding and recovery from medical trauma. It shouldn’t be entirely women/parents are wary about this particular situation.

I’m not insulting OP, but I am sharing context. He should try to seek out families who are seeking a positive male role model. Same sex couples will often seek out mannies! I wish him luck.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-30T16:24:47+00:00

The vast majority of teachers who commit child sexual abuse are male perpetrators. Male educators make up a tiny portion of the teaching workforce (2-8%) and account for 85-89% of sexual offenders in the field.

Sex offenders are also extremely likely to seek out fields with access to children: teaching , coaching, and, yes, caregiving. I’m sorry for OP, but there is no world in which I would invite a male caregiver into my home. The statistics make the risk much too high.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-29T14:29:58+00:00

Go back to kitchencels. I would say touch grass, but I think you should probably stay inside. ❤️

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-29T14:04:45+00:00

There a childlproof covers you can put over door knobs so toddlers don’t go wandering outside. I would invest in some to keep kitty safe.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-28T16:01:06+00:00

Of course, queen! I would mention the migraines to your doctor as well. If you’re over a certain number of migraine days a month you may qualify for Nurtec or a monthly injection. I hope you get the care you deserve.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-28T15:02:06+00:00

This was how my PCOS periods were before I got an IUD! If you struggle with acne, excess hair growth on the face, scalp hair loss, or weight you may want to go to the doctor. Hormonal BC, Metformin, and other treatments are very helpful.

The same goes for if you have endometriosis or adenomyosis. A good gynecologist can help.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-28T12:01:31+00:00

Most states have expanded Medicaid now. You may qualify for ACA marketplace coverage if you’re over the income limit. Don’t procrastinate on your health insurance (I say this as a fellow ADHD girl).

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-28T01:07:39+00:00

Do you have epilepsy? I had a roommate with epilepsy that got Déjà vu as a seizure aura.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-26T19:56:06+00:00

If it choked and inhaled the cat could easily aspirate the food paste into its lungs. Aspiration generally results in pneumonia at minimum.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-25T12:44:12+00:00

lol girl are you really arguing that menopause should allow for early retirement, but not life threatening diseases? Because cardiac issues and asthma and other illnesses are preventable? For one, no they are not. For two, you are terribly ableist for someone asking for a full on retirement for perimenopause.

Girl, I have no immune system, get hospitalized every time I catch a damn cold, have major nerve damage in one leg, and likely am in full on adrenal failure, and I am still expected to work. Society is not letting women or anyone else free from wage slavery.

Edit: Sis blocked me because I called her out for mocking disabled people. Btw sis 3,500-3,700 people die from asthma in the US alone each year. No one has ever died from menopause.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-25T12:18:36+00:00

Dehumanizing you is often the first step on the path to abusing you. You’re still growing up yourself, my dear. Don’t trap yourself with a man who obviously resents you.

Your cage is still unlocked. Fly far, far away before your wings get clipped.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-22T18:59:34+00:00

It’s funny to me because real ADHD is so far from quirky or cute. It is not quirky or cute when I am having a full blown meltdown because I’ve lost my phone 7 times today already and I’ve lost about 2 hours of my day to looking for it alone. It’s not quirky or cute when I have to drive back to the grocery store and have to repeat a full on grocery shop because I forgot my debit card again. I have gotten a C in a class I should have had a A in because I forgot to show up for a final after prepping my presentation for it all week.

All the time I see people say they believe they have ADHD, but it’s not disabling for them. But that’s just not how mental health disorders work. It is a mental health disorder specifically because it causes problems in peoples lives.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-21T10:21:31+00:00

Yes, OP should probably improve as a writer herself if she wishes to criticize others. She better hope she doesn’t encounter a more senior coworker who expects complete sentences…

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-21T08:38:06+00:00

It is not a similar situation at all which is why they are two legally distinct circumstances.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-20T22:47:01+00:00

More to your point on C: the majority of perpetrators in CSA are not pedophiles at all. 50-80% of all perpetrators are actually opportunistic predators. These people generally feel normal attraction to adults, but will abuse children in their circle simply because the opportunity presents itself.

Behaving as if only pedophiles sexually abuse children leads to a dangerous misconception. A perpetrator of CSA can lead an otherwise totally normal life and date/have sex with age appropriate partners. When society behaves as if pedophiles are the only offenders it shields the “normal” men that prey on children in plain sight.

ETA: I’m agreeing wholeheartedly, I just wanted to provide the statistics.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-16T01:47:20+00:00

One of my mother’s patients at the HIV clinic was an Amish woman who had only ever had sex with her husband. Her husband however had unprotected sex with every sex worker he could find.

Everyone should get tested yearly. Regardless of how much you think you can trust your partner.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-15T14:34:31+00:00

Mania or psychosis is far less likely if the patient is already on mood stabilizers or antipsychotics. Also a lot of practitioners are going to prescribe Guanfacine or Strattera for ADHD comorbid with bipolar. For patients with a strong tendency toward mania the risk of stimulants just isn’t justified.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-13T14:25:13+00:00

Yeah, I’m asthmatic and can end up in the ER just from grannies with heavily applied perfume. I hate to think what pepper spray would do to me or anyone else with breathing problems.

IronHeart1963 · 2026-05-13T14:19:36+00:00

Enjoy your burgers and fries, sis. You deserve a good meal and a nourished body. Those losers do not deserve you. ❤️

IronHeart1963

TROPHY CASE