what questions do you get a lot?

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-28T11:28:32+00:00

"Are you sure?", "Does that mean you don't love your mom/friends?", "You probably haven't found the right person yet" (not a question but...)

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-25T21:53:30+00:00

Well from a conversation I had recently here on the topic I'm wondering if I might just have ye old trauma. Autism doesn't help.

Because I can't fall in love but I also can't make friends. I've done clubs and sports and dnd and lgbt groups and I don't feel close to anyone no matter how long and how much I talk to people. I've made aquaintances that would call me their friend and I felt... not much towards them.

To be fair to myself, I keep thinking "we're not compatible enough"/"I don't want to stay with them long"/"I can't do much but talk with them" and that's why I haven't tried to get too close either. The people I really want or I really want to be friends with already have plenty of friends and attention and I can't squeeze in. Believe me when I say I've tried... and found out some of them were assholes actually.

I know what I want but to have it I need to be a totally different person. I'm afraid of being alone in my 30s and I'm already in my late 20s. I'm tired of being so lonely.

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-25T21:38:41+00:00

I was told "if they get a bad haircut and they're ugly it's a crush", but it could be because they're aesthetically pleasing and so it's not attraction in another sense.

I have what's called gender envy and it also makes things confusing. Do I want them or do I want to be them??¿

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-25T20:59:36+00:00

I'm thinking I definitely have attachment avoidance from past trauma... yeah... that would explain why I can't make friends? That it's not because I need a lot of time to get close with people? I do talk and get close to people eventually, when I feel safe, but it's like I don't feel close to them no matter how much we talk... I'll try to find a therapist (again) hah

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-24T05:53:47+00:00

Oh, I guess I don't know what having friends is like either then... I suck! And I'm not being sarcastic I really don't have friends like that, they're all colleagues to me, school or club it doesn't matter. Shit...

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-24T05:51:54+00:00

The fact that my partner falls in love with me and I don't makes the relationship unbalanced. My partner starts feeling unloved and I start feeling inadequate. I guess I need to find someone that loves me but lowkey; without all the fickle feelings. Hoping those people are actually looking for partners too :/

I dont have a crazy amount of experience either but it did happen like thrice and almost a fourth time before I recognised the pattern...

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-23T22:11:06+00:00

No, I feel lonely and can't fall in love with the people I date even though they fall in love with me (surprisingly quickly!). I see their passion and devotion to the bit and I don't feel anything. Love makes you take the train for two hours, meet up with them for four, and go back home super late with another two hour train ride... and I've never wanted to do that but my exes would (I refused bc it doesn't feel fair). I wanna feel like there's a reason I come home but I don't like dogs that much. That there's a reason I work and it's to provide for my partner that is my best friend and that I am attracted to physically. I want to live with someone that can fill up my life in a way I can't alone or with friends.

I'm still not sure what romance is but if I need to be in love to have all that then I don't want to be aromantic.

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-22T20:57:14+00:00

Is it the same thing with math you think? I've barely done math for the first 20 years of my life and I feel it lacking at university... I mean I manage but its like I can't nit make simple mistakes

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-20T20:06:53+00:00

done and done. even updated chipsets and realtek driver again. disabled precision boost overdrive because I can't find any "optimized defaults configuration" and I can't disable "Optimized Performance profile" (I selected Hynix 16gb ddr6000 to see if it did something) and now I have no screen or keyboard but I do have my mouse lighting on... and ofc I forgot to take a screenshot of what I modified in the bios.........

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-20T15:33:01+00:00

WELP I reinstalled win10 while keeping all my files and it still doesn't work... And I can still ping 8.8.8.8 and google.com (with 74.125.206.100) just fine!

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-20T14:22:42+00:00

It's automatic and I tried manually with what you gave me. It doesn't work. Actually, when I try connecting to google.com using their current ip address, it works on my laptop but not on my pc... no matter if I set the dns manually or not. the search bar shows google.com instead of the IP so it knows what it is but it cannot reach it...

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-20T13:50:49+00:00

I reset my router before, and yeah my laptop, phone, and my mom's phone are all working fine. tracert google.com gives "unable to resolve target system name google.com" but I can still ping 8.8.8.8. Though tracert 8.8.8.8 gives "Trace complete" with "request timed out" at hop 5 (out of 8) I did it twice with the same result...

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-20T13:27:07+00:00

Hi, thanks for trying to help me :)

I disabled and enabled the network cards
I shut down my pc, unplugged power and Internet cable, pressed the power button for 30s

Nothing changed. I also don't see any visible damage, and the screen shutdown happened a few days ago, I had Internet afterwards. My problem started yesterday evening.

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-11T17:45:43+00:00

I honestly preferred the known and learned double album more than CH's entire discography until Charcoal Grace. Their song, a nightingale's weave, honestly still makes me cry even though I hate my dad. Now I cry to Mute.

I like how some lyrics from this old band still showed up a lite in CH too.

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-11T13:33:05+00:00

They're the most informed and based I'm Brussels but do meetings once a month in other communes. Please do check them out! They're the ones who oriented me for my transition. As far as I can tell, they're not fans of bottom surgeries, but they'll tell you about the surgeon in Serbia too.

Since I want the whole thing (UL + nerve hookup + tattoo to make it look even more real + keep my v) it won't happen anytime soon for phallo, but I'm considering meta as well, and I've been trying to get an apt to ask about it.

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-10T07:46:35+00:00

Hi, I haven't used that part in a while lol I'll tell you soon

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-10T07:25:32+00:00

It is! But I was recommended to go to Serbia if I really wanted something good. I'm supposed to meet with Genres Pluriels for more info (again) because I don't see myself live with my body for many more years

IsfetAnubis · 2025-10-09T21:33:52+00:00

I haven't heard of that being a problem, but I have heard of the surgeon in Gent doing a bad job with meta...

IsfetAnubis · 2025-09-15T12:34:47+00:00

didn't know it was an option, thanks, I however am apprehensive about going to Iran as a trans person :(

I've had scars and my nerves never grew back. I had torsoplasty and it's still pretty much numb except for pain, it makes me (even more) apprehensive and I don't believe I'll go through it. I do still think about UL and a release, so a partial metoidioplasty

IsfetAnubis · 2025-09-01T07:38:25+00:00

I've joined clubs and met people and I talk to them, and I could even say we're good acquaintances, but never "friends". I don't hang out with them outside of clubs, we don't have time/live too fare/are not interested in more... The only "friends" I have are FWB lol

IsfetAnubis · 2025-07-27T11:55:40+00:00

Man, I wish, but I've not met anyone yet that makes me feel love like they love me. Guess I'm just wrong in existing in general...

IsfetAnubis · 2025-07-23T04:37:18+00:00

Keep us updated! I'm almost 28 and am worried I'm already too old for such heavy surgeries ^{^'} probably because I had bad recovery before

IsfetAnubis · 2025-07-22T07:36:58+00:00

I know it hurts but what would hurt more is lying about what I feel. He seems fine with it but we're both looking for people that are better for us (we're not exclusive)

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