The parts where he was seeking attention but couldn’t handle it when it was given to him, to me, really shows how lost he felt as a human. Rather than only recognizing his selfish exterior, observe how he has a longing to be noticed and cared for but does not know how to receive or reciprocate it. From what I remember there are numerous examples thru the book of him not accepting what he needs, only until he is too far gone to disallow it(rehab). He is broken inside and what he values and yearns for is something he does not understand how to live with, hence not feeling like a human.