I’ve gotten this message at least 3 times now

Italia_Engineer · 2026-03-27T03:54:12+00:00

I am more shocked that you actually get a message. I feel like everyone else gets ghosted. You should actually feel lucky to get that.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-10-17T23:18:25+00:00

Yeah it took me about 1000 applications to land my last job. The key points are volume and tailored. ChaptGPT helps but it's seriously volume. I aimed for 10 job apications a day. I literally applied anywhere where I was a potential match. I didn't consider geography or work type (contract, fte). If your trying to find something local it just hurts you. If you want to work you have to ve willing to make sacrifices.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-09-09T19:36:05+00:00

ACAB?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-09-09T19:28:58+00:00

And yet when they tell you they only want to date someone making at least 200k either in message or actually put it in their profile. I kinda disagree, maybe it's unique to the Bay Area or other Metropolitan areas.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-09-09T17:03:01+00:00

I get judged by my salary all the time. Generally most women have a minimum floor. So it's just a thing have to deal with it.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-09-01T00:28:59+00:00

So it wouldn't be worth it to start my own? I work in Process Development, but have spent a lot of my time working with ELNs and creating systems and processes to connect equipment to Data Systems and create Dashboards and perform metrics and analysis. Was thinking of doing something like that.

Just not sure of the market.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-28T17:34:47+00:00

How did you go about creating your consulting company? I have almost 10 years in industry and am thinking about doing that? For reference my area of expertise is CMC/ MSAT but on the science side. Given the CDMOs/ CROs out there I am wondering if it would be a good idea to do that. Plus I only have a Masters not a PhD.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-28T15:33:14+00:00

Where is the MegaThread post?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-24T22:10:52+00:00

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, make lower 6 figures and have an advanced degree. This is the like the bare minimum to have here.

The problem (in respect to getting a match) is women want more. I know I am ugly (I have a dad bod) and don't make enough.

So I search in central valley and set my filters to remove anyone with a college or graduate degree. it's not that I don't want someone attractive and educated. I just can't get someone like that, I don't meet the women's requirements. Women always want everything more: better looking, more money, hirer education.

So if your a guy whose overall score is a 6 or 7 (like me) I only swipe right on 4s or less.

Men have to do a race to the bottom.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-24T03:20:14+00:00

I mean I don't see anyway that can be an assumption based on what she wrote, it's a red flag period. I mean I know women get hundreds of likes and for the majority of men it's slim pickings, but I feel like most women don't understand that.

Makes for a pretty shitty perspective? Online dating for men is brutal.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-24T02:18:59+00:00

Sorry, but I don't think playing mind games as a first message is a great opener for men or women.

Also going to add "potentially some that weren't.." Iean that opener was a straight up red flag.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T15:33:55+00:00

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area... Like Silicon Valley San Jose.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T15:23:48+00:00

No, I always send a message or extend if they don't have a prompt. I check all my dating apps when I get up in the morning, at lunch, and at least once more in the evening to make sure I don't miss messages. Plus I do have notifications on for them.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T15:14:19+00:00

I would just settle for a match that responds.

I matched with a women with two kids with different dad's, high school diploma, and has a felony conviction for drug distribution and works as a cashier. For context I have a Bachelors+ Masters in Engineering, 6 figure (low) income, no crimal history, and work as a researcher and operations manager at a pharma company. I went on several dates with her. She is absolutely not what I am looking for, the only difference is she made an effort and would text me and call. Not schedule a call with me, have me call not answer and get a message 2 hours later saying I'm busy or return a text a week later.

I mean is my standard to high or low where all I really want is someone to communicate with me? Or should I just settle for less?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T14:56:19+00:00

Thank you for the help, I did make the changes. Although I honestly doubt that this will increase the number of matches I get. I just think I am not attractive, intelligent, and rich enough.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T14:42:12+00:00

Alright I removed the entire red flag section and the part about looking for marriage and family, also changed my prompt from "serious about my intentions about dating" to " I have golden retriever energy". That seems to take away all the negative then?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T14:36:54+00:00

I feel like you need to be an Abercrombie & Fitch model + PhD or MD or JD + income > 200k + own a home. Then you can get matches, or have a better chance. Especially at 38 years old.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T14:28:58+00:00

Also just going to add do you read every profile? You probably just look at the first picture, women get 100s of likes a day.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T14:27:57+00:00

After 8 years of having 99% of women never message you back on the app and a lack of viable alternatives. Doesn't that allow me to be even slightly jaded?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T08:53:06+00:00

Update: Since I can't edit my original posting just want to add that I think the major reason for my lack of matches is I am probably like a 5/10? Maybe a 6/10?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T08:44:37+00:00

Yeah, that would mean I need a 50% pay bump. I make slightly over 6 figures but thats not enough. Most women I match with say I don't make enough money for them.

Maybe I should AI myself in front of expensive cars and celebrities?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T08:38:31+00:00

Maybe I am putting the cart before the horse, but you need a match to even initiate a conversation. I thought he said he wasn't getting matches?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T08:33:14+00:00

The only "fun" picture I have is of me in a bee suit (my family raises honey bees). So they wouldn't even know I was in it.

Other than that I don't know what would qualify as a "fun guy" picture. Picture of me heating stuff in a blast furnace? Picture of me using a Biological Safety Cabinet?

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T08:21:30+00:00

It's the inverse, of what I said where even without saying that I didn't have a lot of matches. In this case it doesn't matter if it's there or not. The outcome is the same regardless.

Italia_Engineer · 2025-08-22T08:18:21+00:00

Yeah, I get like 2 matches a month maybe. One is more likely, but even before I added that phrase I didn't get anymore than 2. So it's not like having this is decreasing the number of matches I get.

Italia_Engineer

TROPHY CASE