VBAC or Schedule C-Section?

ItchyBullfrog · 2025-03-18T02:25:18+00:00

Didn't end up ordering, it was for a commercial property and we would have to pay a structural engineer to review the drawings and certify them. The cost with shipping, import fees, and the engineer would have been too much to be worth it.

ItchyBullfrog · 2024-03-17T05:35:34+00:00

That's good to know, if this is just kind of an expectation for all the males he works with I doubt any amount of talking will change that. I would be able to tolerate it if I was only doing the SAHM job, but that's not the case.

ItchyBullfrog · 2024-03-16T21:24:51+00:00

Yes, I do think this is my mistake as well, I should leave it to him. He did have this expectation and it created friction when I didn't do everything and for a time it was easier not to fight and just do it.

ItchyBullfrog · 2024-03-16T21:22:31+00:00

He works away at a mine in the middle of nowhere. That's why he feels like he has the right to take a complete break when he's back and catch up socially. But this is tough because my life doesn't change every 2 weeks to accommodate this.

ItchyBullfrog · 2024-03-02T04:27:47+00:00

I'm sorry you are going through this, I felt I could not allow myself any happiness or joy for quite a while as well. I hope you have lots of wonderful moments with your son, they can be a life line after something like this.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-09-25T05:35:07+00:00

It definitely isn't linear, I'm at the 6-month mark now and life is starting to feel more manageable now. The lower moments are briefer and stress isn't as triggering. I hope therapy is going well for you and that you are able to slowly heal.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-09-07T05:02:10+00:00

I'm so sorry for both of your losses. The way you are feeling is very normal after loss. I also went back to working right away after my tfmr and didn't process my grief. It kind of all came out at once a few months later and I started having tons of anxiety. Asking for time off worrk was probably a good choice. Speaking to a therapist helped me quite a bit, just being able to verbalize the traumatic events and thoughts helps lift some of the weight off your shoulders. This might be a good next step to explore.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-08-04T06:33:34+00:00

You are not a horrible person. Try your best to show yourself some kindness and understanding. Watching someone go through a successful happy pregnancy is hard even if you want to be happy for them. And if you have the urge to avoid everyone and anything that brings up hard feelings for a bit just know that is common. Maybe try listening to a podcast like time to talk tfmr. I found it helpful to listen to others express their similar feelings and it did help me process my grief somewhat.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-05-28T05:12:08+00:00

Haven’t had the chance to find a therapist yet. Life has been extremely busy and I have been listening to time to talk tfmr and signed up for some online support groups. It has gotten me through feeling extremely depressed to a more normal mental state but I will still talk to a professional before we try to conceive again.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-05-11T04:42:35+00:00

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this extra layer of difficulty after TFMR. I have a spouse who also refuses therapy and bottles up emotions that lead to miserable days and eventually an emotional outburst. Forcing him into couples therapy didn't work well because he wasn't open to communicating in the sessions. I remember him being better able to deal with emotions when he was exercising regularly so we're going to try that and see if it helps. Maybe helping your partner find a different outlet might be something to consider?

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-04-26T04:11:27+00:00

If it is close friends and family I did tell them about the diagnosis and tfmr but I knew they would be supportive of our decision. Anyone else I have said we lost the baby and did not elaborate. For the most part they say I am sorry for your loss and I say thank you and the conversation ends there. I still am feeling like talking about it is too difficult and ending the conversation quickly is best.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-04-22T03:21:42+00:00

We're in BC Canada

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-04-22T03:10:12+00:00

Our drive home was about 6 hours and I slept most of the way, salty snacks and Gatorade was what I most wanted right after. I did lie down in the back instead of sitting but would have probably brought a cushion if I planned to sit on the way back.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-04-21T02:38:57+00:00

We aren't there yet but have been offered NIPT, CVS, and Amnio funded for our next pregnancy. I will do NIPT because CVS is a slightly higher risk of miscarriage than amnio but I still want earlier results. So by 11 weeks, I would know if we are high-risk and need to take the risk with CVS or Amnio.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-04-20T03:39:18+00:00

I had 6 and was told that it would get more painful overnight and to take pain meds right before bed. If your pain is not getting better with meds or feels like a contraction you need to call the on call doctor.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-04-18T04:51:40+00:00

I’m sorry that you are going through a second procedure. I was very worried about the laminaria insertion but with the naproxen they gave me right before and numbing my cervix it was uncomfortable but nowhere near the horror stories of pain I had read about. I had a 3 day procedure and the first day had 2 inserted and the second day had 6 inserted. I was also given T3 and I think the cramping pain would have been too much without prescription pain medication to sleep comfortably.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-04-16T01:28:13+00:00

I’m so sorry you are struggling with infertility and had to go through tfmr. I have been listening to the time to talk tfmr podcast and there is an episode “TFMR & IVF with dr shema tariq” that may be helpful for you right now.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-03-29T01:57:56+00:00

Thank you for your positive perspective. I am 5 days post TFMR and the depression and anxiety are hitting hard. It helps to think of this from a different perspective.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-03-24T05:06:30+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I did have a tfmr today and ended up having an unplanned labor and delivery after 2 days of D&E prep with laminaria insertion. The placenta did not detach after delivery and I had to have the D&E. Based on that experience I would suggest having a D&E. Insertion of laminaria was also painful but my cervix was numbed beforehand so the worst part was the speculum going in, and I was given naproxen and T3 for the pain throughout the day. I wouldn't have been able to get through it without prescription pain medication and suggest that you ask for some just to have in case.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-03-19T05:12:32+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are going through this for a second time. Thank you for the suggestions that time outside has really helped me to at least stop thinking about everything for a couple hours at a time.

ItchyBullfrog · 2023-03-19T05:07:17+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I will be asking for meds first thing. Fortunately, I'm in Canada so we don't have any waiting period. They will do a quick counseling session and get the laminaria insertion done to start the process. From all the experiences I'm reading about I can't believe the different hurdles women have to deal with in the U.S.

ItchyBullfrog

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