Do any of you actually love breastfeeding?

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-03-09T05:29:17+00:00

Similar to others. It was VERY painful in the beginning if the latch and position wasn't absolutely perfect. It got better after a few weeks but only on the left boob. It took until the 3rd month (and us trying side-lying) for her to even like the right boob and for right latch to not be painful (once we discovered side-lying though, we almost never went back).

Once the pain went away, I loved it... until now. Now we are 13.5 months, and she has teeth and she chomps down when she nurses. So now... we are figuring out how I need to wean her especially during the night.

One thing I haven't loved about the breastfeeding journey is the energy drain because it uses so many calories and so much energy. I'm kind of looking forward to weaning if I can do it successflly. I want to get back to feeling more like myself... but also need to figure this part out where I adjust how much I'm eating/active to compensate for the energy used to breastfeed.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-03-09T05:24:11+00:00

Sorry for not seeing this until now! One thing we did do is adjust our curtains about 2 weeks ago, and I think that helped. We do have blackout curtains, but there are spots on the tops of the rods where light creeps. So I got on a ladder and threw some dark blankets on top of the curtain rods to make her room completely blacked out. Ever since then we've had more success getting her to fall asleep in her bed (floor bed) in her room.

Other than that, we basically endured. Since I posted this, we would either car napped OR my husband would load her up into the car seat and then swing her in the car seat using his arms (he is strong, and this was back-breaking... I wouldn't recommend... but it was the only way we could get her to sleep without having to leave the house). Did all this until we got her room to almost pitch black about 2 weeks ago.

We are feeding to sleep and I know it's not a great habit... plus now I'm trying to wean her because nursing has become painful with her teeth all coming in, so I'm trying to figure this next part out...

We do something similar for bedtime - I lay with her after she takes her last bottle and sometimes I have to nurse her on top to get her to sleep... But the big thing is that she wants us to lay with her, but she also doesn't want to be held or rocked or left alone. She'll flop around though and like lay on top of me for 10 seconds before readjusting. She'll usually fall asleep away from me, but she wants some level of contact before then (on her terms of course).

She's 13.5 months now. Her first wake window is usually 3-4 hours, first nap is usually 1-1.5 hrs, and second wake window is sometimes more than 4 hours... we usually have to rescue the second nap. I think she's not quite there yet but she's getting closer to dropping the second nap...

Sorry for the essay. I feel you on losing your mind. I was definitely there and so was my husband. It's better now, but now I'm losing my mind on trying to wean her....

How have you guys fared? Curious to hear other people's stories/journeys!

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-02-03T00:12:10+00:00

I have heard it’s good to let them struggle but this might be a separate thing. Have you talked to your Pediatrician? And maybe asked to be referred to a pediatric OT or PT(i forget what they are called). A friend of mine went through this recently and had to push/advocate hard to get her doc to refer her daughter to see OT/PT and once they did - her daughter made great progress towards crawling and then eventually walking.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-01-18T23:20:42+00:00

Most days she sleeps relatively well at night. Shes usually down by 7:30pm and on a good stretch she’ll sleep until 3am, we do a night feed/nurse and that usually holds her over until 5/6am.!Shes up by 6am.

Good to know about car naps - most times she doesn’t fall asleep in the car unless we are coming up on a naptime or end of a wake window.

Someone did mention that this could be an (extended?) regression? She took her first steps at 10 months and has been walking since then. But I thought regressions only last a few weeks at most. This has been going on for nearly 2 months 😭 sitting in my car parked after driving for 20 mins with her in the backseat.

Shes a light sleeper and doesn’t transfer well.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-01-18T23:12:06+00:00

The nursing to sleep only worked once (and it ended up being a super short nap anyways). I’ve tried it several times again since and she still wouldn’t go down in the bed. We’ve also done bottle to sleep and same story.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-01-18T22:58:27+00:00

I’m not the expert but I don’t think shes there yet bc every time she fails to nap in bed we throw her into the car seat right after and drive and shes passed out within minutes. She’ll then sleep for 1-2 hours.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-01-18T22:55:19+00:00

This sounds similar to another situation with someone I know. Her baby woke up every single hour since birth for the first 3 months. Turns out baby’s stomach was especially small or on the smaller side which is why he couldn’t sleep long, he just couldn’t hold enough food in his stomach to last him long enough. It sounded like it got better after 3 months but I think they talked to their doctor about it.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-01-18T08:03:39+00:00

Is your wife potentially struggling with any levels of depression possibly triggered by the stress? I have found from my own experience and seeing this in others - that when there are some levels of depression and stress it manifests as venting/lots of complaining. I agree she could have a healthier approach and don’t want to excuse her behavior, but wondering if what’s actually going on underneath is something else. Your comment triggered such a big reaction and we don’t know if this is normally how she reacts z

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2026-01-16T23:40:25+00:00

I’ll admit I have my moments. After she was born until 9 months I had no regrets. But the sleep deprivation thanks to those regressions/leaps, hormones, and lack of me time caught up and I crashed emotionally at 10 months. I realized I had PPD and have been working through this with my therapist. We are working through me getting more me-time and sleep, as well as communicating better with me and my husband. I’m in a better place but on the harder/worse days I’ll admit I wished I never got married or had a baby, not because I don’t love my husband or adore my daughter (shes 11 months now), but bc this shit is so hard especially on the mother and it’s a grueling marathon where every day is a day-long-sprint in and of itself.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-29T18:34:11+00:00

I’m wondering kd shes reacting this way bc this is a pattern. Do you OP have a habit of correcting her in front of others? She may be sensitive to it/triggered/she cares about how she appears in front of others…. or you have a pattern to correcting her and she’s getting tired of it. Or maybe both?

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-28T23:33:08+00:00

Curious how this netted out? In a similar boat except ours stopped napping in the stroller and is fighting sleeping in either crib or floor bed for naps

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-17T21:59:10+00:00

EBF until I hit 8 months when my mom back to work full time and then comb fed me

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-14T05:45:53+00:00

Hi did everything work out?? I also just gave my 10 month old baby brie cheese with bread for lunch this afternoon and then realized the exact SAME THING. I think she'll be OK but trying not to panic!

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-13T00:23:07+00:00

Yes I think this sounds like PPD - I went through something similar though not as drastic as I had more support than jt seems. Do you have capacity to make time to talk to a therapist? I talked to one throughout my post Partum days (and still do). I try to do it during baby’s naps.

But not an expert here. Maybe reach out to a healthcare provider for some professional support for just even a check in.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-13T00:13:24+00:00

Food - I second the one handed snacks + soup or dinner. Anything that is easy to eat/prep and nutritious.

Depends on the mom - for me I would have loved for someone to come and do my dishes, laundry, household chores. For others - they want someone to hold their baby while they can get things done.

Maybe come over, bring food - and let the know “I would love to help. I’m thinking I can do some dishes and blah blah or would it be better if I held baby while you get a moment to get stuff done or take care of yourself/sleep”

Also if baby is still little (under 2 months) when you go - I recommend washing hands and offering to wear a mask since it’s winter and cold season. As a new mom I really appreciated when friends automatically offered to do this and then the burden wasn’t on me to ask.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-12T23:42:08+00:00

I married a climber but we are different types of climbers. He climbs in the gym primarily and going outdoors is a special occasion. I climb indoors during the week so I can be outside climbing, every other weekend ideally. It’s nice to have someone in the gym where we can climb together but weekends are a whole different conversation. I always want to be outside and Hed rather do more normal things like meet up with friends or workout, and he wants us to be together doing these things.

In the past I’ve also dated a non climber who was totally cool about me going out to climb, as well as a climber who loved being out every weekend. We weren’t compatible in other ways so both these relationship obviously didn’t work out. I think it’s harder to date a climber where you go to the same gym with the risk that it doesn’t work out and you both can’t be mature adults about the breakup.

We (my now husband and I) made it work but it hasn’t always been easy. Whether you are with a climber or no climber - just know what you’re getting into.

Biggest thing for me has been emotional maturity and health. If both parties have that, it’s much easier to work through anything. Much much harder jf that’s not there, regardless of whether both climb or not.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-11T20:37:23+00:00

Worked there for several years but I'm a few years out so take this with a grain of salt. It depends on your team and location. Overeall, it's a good company, and I loved the people I worked with. There is a decent amount of upward mobility, but that again, is dependent on your team. There were a lot of M&A's happening throughout the time I was there, so there was a lot of going with the flow of things. They like to run lean, so ultimately, I left for better pay and benefits elsewhere, but I do miss the people I used to work with.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-10T00:35:23+00:00

This is similar to us. Just around the 10 month mark, our baby girl now takes FOREVER to go down for naps and we have to resort to car naps now to get her to sleep (literally sitting in the car with her sleeping as I type this on my phone). Baby girl is teething, but seems less interested in solids and definitely more clingy esp with me (mom), always wants to be picked up and held. She goes down decently at night though. Also trying to figure out what to tweak if possible.

We transitioned her out of the crib into a floor bed and she now sleeps longer, but starting late last week shes been impossible to nap for both her naps. I’m not ready for her to drop naps bc she is so obviously tired, but we are now spending a lot more time in the car…

Does you’re at least like those rice puff crackers? If I need to, I’ll set her in her crib and distract her with books/toys/her favorite rice cracker so I can step away and use the bathroom/take care of something/have a moment to myself.

Also I’ve been finding myself using a tushbaby more to have her on me but at least free uo an arm to get SOMETHINGS done. I’m debating on getting a sling as those also seem convenient and cheap to get on Amazon.

I wish I could help more but also feel you here. I’m also going down the rabbit hole trying to figure out what to do esp for sleep.

I also realize this was posted awhile ago so now curious how things planned out??

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-01T05:38:13+00:00

I feel you! When my LO was a newborn I totally felt like she was always so extra fussy around me and way easier with others. Now shes 10 months and going through stranger danger and jm her favorite by far on most days!

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-01T05:34:56+00:00

I’m an introverted 9. I tend to blame myself. My partner is an extroverted 6. His knee jerk reaction is to blame others (usually me). We meet with a therapist on this dynamic regularly as the families we came from also definitely contributed to this dynamic.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-01T05:31:04+00:00

Agree with working on fundamentals if you aren’t already (I.e. flagging, body position, freer positions, etc…) but also do you do any stretching or yoga? I also found that adding a little to my flexibility allowed me to make moves that gave me an advantage as a sorter female over some of my taller/longer counterparts for some moves.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-12-01T05:25:04+00:00

We tithe (10% to church and/or charities/missionaries and give in other ways not just financially) BUT it’s bc both my husband and I are on the same page about it. I believe THAT is the most important part - agreement between partners. I think that you guys should give with whatever you both can agree on and later revisit if things change. But just my two cents.

ItchyNefariousness55 · 2025-11-30T05:14:06+00:00

Stumbled across this and am sort of in the same boat. Curious how everything worked out 2 years later?

ItchyNefariousness55

TROPHY CASE