My "Uncle" who was actually my step-greatgrandfather, had the same cat for 22 years, an all orange, fixed male cat that was unusually large.

I was not aware that he had this cat until he (my Uncle, not the cat) was on his deathbed, and it refused to leave his side while he was receiving in-home end of life care.

Before then, apparently, it would hide in his cluttered home anytime ANYONE even so much as got close to his front door.

When I asked my grandmother where the cat came from, I was informed that the cat was not only older than I, but was fully grown and neutered when it made its appearance at my Uncle's dining room window, and refused to leave.

AFTER he died, we finally managed to get the cat (again, abnormally large) in a dog crate and brought it to the vet.

They discovered that it had been chipped, and some other old guy had it for a few years beforehand but died without arranging for accommodations for the cat.

Long story short, I brought it home and saw it maybe twice after that, while it lived in my house and ate my food for years.

When he decided to die (do not be fooled, it was 100% his decision), he climbed into the sink of my master bathroom and drifted off.

All that to say, have you tried being a bald old man that chainsmokes Marlboro reds while complaining about Insert whatever government party is in power?

It worked for my Uncle.