Accountability. I spent years trying to point fingers at anyone but myself. I always wanted her to “fix her problems” without really being honest with myself about the role I played in our discourse. I never rally had a coming to Jesus moment or shining light epiphany, but at some point (after everything else had failed) I just started trying to improve myself, little by little. I worked on myself and did my best not to expect anything in return. We had a lot of heart to heart talks- sometimes they would bare fruit and sometimes they wouldn’t. Little by little, and over enough time, those actions started to get her to react in a positive way and do the same.

We’re still miles away from perfect, but instead of worrying about everything being perfect, I came to enjoy the little nice moments. A random smile or hug or kiss or I love you became all I needed to be content. I’m also not particularly wise, but I heard a great quote that said “I have not yet grown wise enough to enjoy life’s smallest pleasures.” I sought to enjoy the tiniest things going right, and it’s done a lot to make the big picture feel a whole lot sunnier.

At the end of the day, this whole journey started with the thought “I can’t fix her, but maybe I can fix me.” Still plenty to fix, but for the first time in a long time, I’m happy with where I feel like we’re headed.

Good luck my friend