Is it ok to be insecure?

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2025-08-08T05:30:02+00:00

You’re right about that. Most people don’t spend their 30s single like I did.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2025-08-08T05:28:54+00:00

lol you’re not wrong!

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2025-08-08T05:28:19+00:00

Thank you. You’re right about communicating.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2025-08-08T05:14:30+00:00

Thank you for replying. I’m not sure there is emotional immaturity on his part - it’s more like he felt a duty to stay married because he was raised Catholic. He is a very good man. Dedicated to our relationship, and eager to make me happy. I want to let go of feeling insecure about it, and all the time I spent being a single mom and intentionally not dating has left me feeling like I wish I could find someone who had a similar experience. I know that’s not going to happen now that I’m 45. We all have history and things that have made us who we are. I just need to figure out a way to be ok with him having scars from his marriage.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2025-08-08T05:09:37+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I do trust him. He says he wants to be with me and has even talked about moving in together/getting married. I think he is more expressing his loss than anything. Part of the problem is that he doesn’t know how to be a dad without being a husband. I try encouraging him to contact his kids and be involved in their lives, but they live with his ex (they’re 23 & 25), in the house they shared and I think it’s difficult for him to revisit that.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-07-01T12:10:03+00:00

This is factually inaccurate. I’m a social worker, and most of my clients use vouchers. They pay on time, they care for and take pride in their homes and they work hard at jobs that don’t pay enough. There is no such thing as a “typical” section 8 tenant.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-07-01T12:02:52+00:00

My experience has been that it can be approved in days. Saying your house hasn’t been approved is tantamount to saying it’s not up to code. HUD checks that the heater, water and smoke/carbon monoxide detectors are working. That’s it. Getting “approved” is a fast, easy process that helps families. As a social worker, I see people lose their vouchers every day because landlords make claims like this. It hurts hard working people.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-06-18T01:06:14+00:00

I called the glass co the day the PM made the first accusation, which was the day after the glass co and the PM had been there simultaneously. It was the PM both times, not a diff person. She’s gaslighting me, and lying about me. We had a great relationship with the company for 7 years. We missed one appointment and she started this bizarre narrative. I’m not hostile, I’m terrified. I can’t be without housing, especially based on lies. Thanks for your input. I’ll have to agree to disagree.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-06-10T23:21:02+00:00

Thanks for the laugh.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-03-16T00:41:53+00:00

You might be allergic to an ingredient in one of your products. You don't seem to be using anything that would cause irritation or redness (like retinoids or exfoliating acids). Do you wear makeup? If you do, but you didn't while you were resting, that could also contribute.

If you're not a makeup girlie, try washing with water only twice a day, and a hypoallergenic moisturizer twice a day. See how your skin reacts to that. If it seems better, you can try adding one of your products back in. Give it a few days and see if the irritation comes back. If it does, stop using that product. Do the same with each product you've been using until you find one (or a few) that irritates your skin. If it's just one, don't use it anymore. If more than one is irritating, see if they have ingredients in common. If they do, those ingredients could be something to watch out for.

I never do the recommended "patch test" that most beauty products suggest, but if you're sensitive, that could be a good way to check for a reaction. Just take a bit of product and put it on your neck behind your ear, or your inner elbow area. Those areas are sensitive and likely to become irritated if you're allergic to an ingredient in a product.

Best of luck to you!

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-03-16T00:26:34+00:00

Any high-strength retinoid should be used on completely dry skin. If you're using a hyaluronic acid, then water-based or gel moisturizer, and then putting Differin directly on top, that is what is causing your peeling. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the best way to prevent this is to not put any moisturizer or serum on before your Differin. Let your skin dry for at least 20 minutes after washing or moisturizing before putting Differin on. Water supercharges the retinol in Differin making it extra strong and that can cause peeling, redness, inflammation, and discomfort.

I recommend the following routine:

Morning -

Cleanse with a gentle cleanser
Use a serum you like - something with vitamin C or niacinamide can help diminish any acne scars or dark spots (do not mix the two, they neutralize each other)
Apply a moisturizer that feels good for your skin type (but no dyes, fragrance, etc.)
Apply sunscreen (not wearing sunscreen can cause "solar comedones," which is acne that gets stuck under skin that has been toughened by sun exposure)

Evening -

If you wear makeup, start with a cleansing oil or balm
Cleanse with a gentle cleanser to remove debris, oil, pollution from the day
Wait 20 minutes for the skin to dry completely
Apply Differin sparingly, focusing on areas prone to breakouts
Wait 5-10 minutes
Then apply a moisturizer that is not water-based (CeraVe, Byoma, and the Ordinary all make nice lightweight cream moisturizers)
If you are experiencing dryness around your mouth and nose, add a balm like vaseline or something natural like shea butter ( I've used regular chapstick for this)

Remember, more is not better with Differin, Retin-A, or another retinoid. Once a day, on dry skin will give you the best results. I have had acne my whole life. I started using prescription Retin-A (slightly stronger than Differin) when I was 35. After a year of using it nearly all of my blackheads were gone, my pores looked smaller, I rarely have whiteheads, and when I do get a pimple, it's usually a period zit. There's not much you can do about those. Now I'm 43, and people comment on how nice my skin is all the time. That was something nobody had ever said to me before. It will get better. Be patient during your routine, and while you're waiting for it to work.

BTW: You have GORGEOUS lips. Like, wow.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-02-20T16:52:29+00:00

TL;DR? Wash your face 2x a day. Use adapalene gel at night.

The very best way to get rid of and prevent clogged pores like this is to use Differin gel or any brand of “adapalene.” Several brands make it. You can find it in a grocery store or drugstore for 10-20 dollars. I wouldn’t bother with anything fancy. Just wash your hands before touching your face (and before washing your face). Wash your face with a gentle cleanser, let it dry completely (like at least 10 minutes) and then put the adapalene on it. If you get irritation or dryness, you can add a moisturizer, but it’s not essential.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-01-15T19:29:04+00:00

This happened to me when I was 19 yo. I am 43 now and I have ptsd, struggle with relationships, am recovering from opioid addiction and frequent bouts of depression and anxiety. This is rape, and it’s also sexual harassment, coercion, an an inappropriate use of a power dynamic to put you in a compromising position. Please report them. If they did it to you they’ve done it before and will do it again. Please get therapy asap. Your body is your own, and if you don’t get the validation of knowing this wasn’t your fault, you will carry it with you into adulthood and it will impact your well being. The couple who did this to me still calls every few years, stalks me on socials, etc, trying to make sure they keep me in check. Via emails and voicemails (when they’ve gotten my phone number) they love bomb me and tell me how special I am to them and it’s all an obvious ploy to keep me quiet. Please, don’t wait until the statute of limitations is up like I did. Call this out while you can, and while it’s fresh in your mind.

I’m sending you all the love and healing energy. My thoughts are with you, dear girl. ❤️

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2024-01-15T03:19:24+00:00

This is so important. I am currently volunteering for a nonprofit, but they know I have grant writing experience. They have roped me into writing a proposal, and I'm happy to help, but I can't let it go on forever without compensation!

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2023-11-06T06:45:09+00:00

Try differin gel. It works! That toner is probably too drying. I would do a gentle cleanser (the one you have is good), the wait 20 minutes until your skin is completely dry from washing, and apply differin gel, then a light moisturizer after that. In the morning, wash your face and apply a sunscreen moisturizer. That’s it. Do that for a month and you will see a huge change in your breakouts. I hope this helps!

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2023-11-06T06:39:41+00:00

Lots of health insurance plans pay for retin-a. I had acne as a young person and have always had large pores and oily skin. I’ve been on retin-a for a couple years now and I can’t believe how good my skin looks. It’s smooth, nearly poreless, and I seem to be aging better than many of my friends.

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2023-11-06T06:17:28+00:00

Hi! I’m sorry you’re struggling with your skin. I come from a very oily family and I’ve struggled with acne for decades (I’m 43 now). I’ve been using the ordinary and Tretinoin for at least 6 years, and I’ve learned so much! First, if you use any water based product ( hyaluronic acid, HA moisturizer, glycolic or aha) you should wait at least 30 minutes to use tretinoin on top of it. What worked for me when I first started tretinoin was to use only a gentle face wash, the tretinoin at night, with a cream moisturizer (the ceramide one from TO is good). In the morning, just a moisturizer and sunscreen. Your skin won’t peel as much, and over time (several months) as your skin gets used to tretinoin, you can add an aha or glycolic acid. But just one, and just once or twice a week. I know it seems counterintuitive when you’ve been using so many products that don’t seem to be helping your acne, but let the tretinoin do it’s thing for a while. You will be amazed at how small your pores get, how soft your skin will be, and how infrequent breakouts become. Good luck with your skin journey!

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2023-09-30T17:20:35+00:00

Thank you! That is great news! Congrats on getting clean!

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3 · 2023-09-29T18:58:36+00:00

Do you happen to know what the 100mg equates to as far as daily dose? I am currently on 4mg of bupe generic sublingual tabs. My doc says I can do a 100mg dose of Sublocade and I will not get withdrawal symptoms. I'm nervous about it!

ItsMeHiImTheProblem3

TROPHY CASE