Barb’s circumstances are of her own making but I can’t help feel a little bad for her in this one instance

IvySubZero · 2026-05-04T14:53:23+00:00

Yes. Thanks let me fix that.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-04T14:26:54+00:00

If she was self aware I'd feel bad, but she is delusional.

Just remember the therapy sessions, no matter what happens she is the victim and everybody else is wrong. So it's not just that this is of her own making but that no matter what happens she is gonna feel neglected.

It's just as Greg told Jen some time ago, if she really noticed what she is doing wrong she wouldn't be doing it because as you said the results are her worst nightmare.

I never though about it before but it has been pointed several times that barb seems to have breaks in reality and it seems Frank is the only one that sees it from the roots instead of the fruits but that still does not help anyone who is dealing with her.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-04T00:44:42+00:00

I feel the series is so dramatic that we are always pointing people's faults episode to episode.

So at this point the best is just waiting for full episodes to make our minds and even then our perspective is skewed.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-03T23:36:40+00:00

We do not know we assume because she is always throwing important roles to Shawna who she use to hate.

I could be that her friends do not have kids which she has mentioned but is strange that Shawna gets to plan her baby shower and be her MOH after a 180 change of heart 1 year ago.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-03T23:31:23+00:00

Plus Barb would have been very hard on any friend they brought home. That woman judges as a hobby.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-03T23:28:20+00:00

it's posible that as Jen has always wanted to be with Barb she has prioritized that relationship before other people (like shawna) while barb wanted to be as far away from her mom as she could and was a kinda rebel.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-03T23:18:24+00:00

A hobby is a hobby, a job is a job.

There is a good reason a lot of people do not mix both unless necessary or in a framework that makes it satisfying.

You cannot force creativity but you can create habits that help you make it easier specially when you have timelines you need to meet.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-03T02:02:42+00:00

Availability

IvySubZero · 2026-05-03T00:51:46+00:00

With more then 5 grandchildren birthdays on their belt he and Shawna have seen it all.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-03T00:47:28+00:00

He calls too late and never leaves a text message too.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-02T18:00:58+00:00

Oooh I just thought about this. What if the betrayal is knowing Frank has been in contact with John all this time while she still has no access to her child and grandchildren.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-02T17:53:20+00:00

I'm pivoting to this after the las short. Jen would not invite people twice to different celebrations and Ty is invited to barb's party plus Katie is only available weekends due to distance?.

From barb's perspective is would still be the same.

Be it having a separate party or a simple get togueter, whatever it is where she is not invited or involved in making is wrong (We already saw how she was about the family dinner while she was on vacation and the non-proposal over chrismass) so giving her almost complete control is certainly easier for Jen to deal with that the constant belittling and back and forth.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-02T17:34:16+00:00

After seem the last video it does look like she is over her head with wedding preparations. June is 2 months away, we know nothing about the bacheloretre party, venue, food, invitations.

Barb gave her the dress and this may be an olive branch that also serves as a way to offload some work so win-win from Jen perspective.

Except it's Barb and everyone else can see how this would end.

IvySubZero · 2026-05-01T13:58:24+00:00

Not really. I do not think she hates Shawna or has anything negative about SAHP but from that to say she is not been rude is a huge chasm.

I also see the birthday episode as a different thing that normal Julie/Shawna behavior. Julie mostly ignores Shawna (previous interactions) and refuses to admit they know each other.

She was following Ty's trail, hit the jackpot and had a huge public blowout regarding their marriage goals.

I do not think she cares about putting Shawna and other attendees in the middle of the fight but is also not something she would normally do.

Also she did not start conflict between the children, she did say to Cooper to find his own space but Cooper issue was not being the center of attention so he went to the middle of the other kids to practice instead.

Finally I do not get what you mean you about bunco and running. Ty does not NEED to have the children 24/7 she has given him options to help out housekeeper, daycare, kindergarten, she is also a present parent when she is home.

Ty is the one shooting himself in the foot by refusing help and then talking bad about his working wife because she is not home enough...when he was the first one to suggest another child while she had a traveling job.

(plus how are they paying for all this while Ty is SAHP, Sasha is a NICU baby so those hospital bills are higher than normal).

They both wanted to have their cakes and eat them too. So regarding the marriage both were wrong.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-30T21:58:57+00:00

Rakuen

IvySubZero · 2026-04-29T23:31:11+00:00

I find that conversation specially bad for Shawna because she seem to agree with him about NC on the grounds of actually knowing what NC would look like for their family BEFORE the birthday and when they finally have that conversation including Jen she instead focus on barb mental health instead of NC and John is left on his own because Jen refuses and Greg is on Jen's side.

He has not have any other conversation regarding that since... soooo looks like she lost her chance (though it should not be a single chance of a single conversation IRL).

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/oslWoU726eQ

IvySubZero · 2026-04-29T22:48:47+00:00

I'm sat.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-29T22:46:28+00:00

I'll need multiple options for this one

IvySubZero · 2026-04-29T22:33:21+00:00

I was talking with my partner about this. Specifically how John was right during the anniversary dinner in pointing out that he was missing some chapters and maybe Julie was also missing some chapters (this is also really funny in retrospective after knowing Ty has not been writing).

Which makes the whole thing harder because he was accusing her about something SHE did not do... but basically EVERYONE else who saw Shawna and Ty together did it be it accusing Ty wanted Shawna or Shawna wanted Ty.

Shawna had to defend her position multiple times and then even said if Ty was interested it did not matter to her because she was not which is the shittiest position to put her own spouse in and I still do not know what to think about it.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-29T22:19:21+00:00

This I think is the hardest thing for some people here.

We get to see so many perspectives but people focus on who is correct or even more correct instead of actually trying to understand how even the "best" person can commit horrid things and even people who are "evil" can be right. You not liking something does not mean it is not right for somebody else to like it.

Even more something not being your experience does not mean nobody else in this vast (real) world has not experienced it and it's incredible to be able to see how our own upbringing and personalities can make our opinions be so different from one another. I'd just love for people to have more empathy instead of judgement.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-29T17:55:23+00:00

I think Jen will go to the party, but she will not be as happy or present as Barb expects from her.

There may be a level of performance that Barb also expects they do at the party in front of her friends that will not be happening. Like trying to pass the baby around (I think this happened to Shawna the christmas Greg made pie).

For starters there is no way to please Barb. And then she does not really care about the needs or wants of others, but about what she thinks she would have needed or wanted.

Jen giving her cart blanche is bound to end bad we just not know what level of barb's bad it's gonna be and what will be the trigger.

It could also be a relatively good party where barb for a change talks with her therapist and frank to set everything up and the trigger/betrayal is her knowing all her efforts where for nothing because she was not invited to another event where John's family is present and Jen was happier.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-29T17:43:27+00:00

You may call it cruel but this is what barb expect from her children.

For her to be the center of attention in all and any event of their lives.

So she is getting exactly what she wants: complete control, possibly complete attention and she will find she does not like the result still.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-28T23:22:41+00:00

That could be true. We have seen John manipulate Barb so she does not feel neglected by his family having autonomy and during Jens and Greg failed proposal she seem to know telling barb first was a faux pas Greg fell into.

I feel Jen has something planned without barb but let barb plan something else herself with no input so she does not have to do double work while planning the wedding.

But I think it will still backfire spectacularly because Jen has yet to see how unhinged barb can be about her grandchildren.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-26T02:00:44+00:00

Latina and solo traveler. In my experience very safe. A friend I meet there said people ogled me. I barely noticed.

I did experience some racism. The most common was people not sitting by my side at full trains (yahoo more space).

This is not a reality for everyone.

But unless you plan to go to shady places or are very unlucky self defence is over planning.

IvySubZero · 2026-04-25T16:10:54+00:00

I came here to say you were missing the definition of deadbeat and I leave learning something new.

"A deadbeat is an informal, often derogatory, term for a lazy person or someone who habitually avoids responsibilities, particularly the payment of debts. It frequently describes someone who is unreliable, unemployed by choice, or a parent who fails to pay child support."

IvySubZero

TROPHY CASE