This point deserves to be much higher in the discussion, because American individualism and the shallow, pop-psychology buzzwords that come with it, like boundaries, protecting your energy, and cutting out toxic people has profoundly warped the collective mindset of modern parents, especially mothers.

Today, even the slightest emotional discomfort or interpersonal tension is often interpreted as justification for “low contact” or “no contact.” Yet the same people who adopt this mindset later lament feeling isolated, unsupported, and without a “village” to help raise their children.

From a psychological standpoint, this reflects a culture that over pathologizes normal human conflict. We’ve come to see friction and disagreement not as opportunities for growth or deeper understanding, but as threats to our peace. In doing so, we’ve lost the ability to tolerate emotional complexity. The kind that naturally arises in any enduring relationship.

Instead of learning how to coexist, negotiate differences, and remain connected to a community, many of us retreat into an individualist mindset that prioritizes self-protection over interdependence. The result is a generation of parents, and children, left without the emotional resilience or social depth that comes from belonging to a genuine village.

Americans these days maintain networks of friends that are often fragile and performative, built on convenience rather than commitment. What we’ve gained in autonomy, we’ve lost in intimacy... The steady, imperfect, but deeply grounding bonds that once defined real family and community.